tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3533986275392579293.post745996952605253417..comments2023-10-19T00:31:30.098+09:00Comments on Always leaving things unfinishe: The battle story!Corinnehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17837500129573276985noreply@blogger.comBlogger17125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3533986275392579293.post-31646473130320346522010-09-28T02:08:51.656+09:002010-09-28T02:08:51.656+09:00you and ryota seem to balance each other out reall...you and ryota seem to balance each other out really well. <br />i think the problem is SIL's lack of experience in the world. she needs to go somewhere and live life independently, learn that no one fights like this after 5th grade.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3533986275392579293.post-63590928308613864432010-09-27T20:10:31.013+09:002010-09-27T20:10:31.013+09:00Late in commenting but did read this the other day...Late in commenting but did read this the other day.<br /><br />Glad Ryota stood in as mediator and stood up for you too.<br /><br />Your SIL sounds like such a twat.Luluhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17391030748931575341noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3533986275392579293.post-44198192195007174072010-09-27T19:46:53.740+09:002010-09-27T19:46:53.740+09:00I don't know how you do it. Your SIL belongs i...I don't know how you do it. Your SIL belongs in the circus. Why doesn't her family kick her out to experience life, seriously? T_T!<br />m.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3533986275392579293.post-69323028259040574842010-09-25T13:07:39.320+09:002010-09-25T13:07:39.320+09:00Stating the obvious, your SIL is just a total frea...Stating the obvious, your SIL is just a total freak who will never change even if she went to live in another country. She would probably only pack Japanese food, seek out Japanese people, and avoid any kind of new experiences (except having a fling with a foreign dog due to loneliness). <br /><br />Glad your husband was a perfect mediator! Keep that chin up. <br /><br />I'm avoiding commenting on the American jab ;)Daniellehttp://www.gwosaka.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3533986275392579293.post-60613178244281185202010-09-25T10:15:45.127+09:002010-09-25T10:15:45.127+09:00I agree with what Jenn said, that Japanese often f...I agree with what Jenn said, that Japanese often find we say too much and the wrong things. I think one of my biggest barriers to conversation here is constantly feeling like I have my foot in my mouth cos I said something, and I don't know if it's just WHAT I said or HOW I said it, but people react all wrong, and get embarrassed when I though they should be laughing and blah blah blah you know the score.<br /><br />BUT how RUDE of her to confront you like this over it. Most Japanese people just tolerate it, (some really like it) as your MIL and her friend obviously are, as they have never said anything to you, in fact are reassuring you that you should continue to speak freely. <br /><br />But how lovely, and lucky, your husband is on your side, that's so important. Mine mostly takes my part, but there have been times when he takes the other side, and it's very frustrating. Imagine how much worse it would be if he was joining her and ganging up on you! Go give him a kiss! At least everyone else thinks SHE is the nutter and YOU the victim!<br /><br />As for Americans being outspoken, I don't know, but I find Australians more likely to take the piss and tease.Rachelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17321189743948194204noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3533986275392579293.post-78515605137513349712010-09-25T08:41:13.476+09:002010-09-25T08:41:13.476+09:00SIL sounds seriously bizarre. Ryouta is right, mov...SIL sounds seriously bizarre. Ryouta is right, move out, get a life would be an excellent life choice for her.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3533986275392579293.post-50275876416710503892010-09-25T05:18:40.534+09:002010-09-25T05:18:40.534+09:00You should ditch the SIL, she seems like a total n...You should ditch the SIL, she seems like a total nut. However, for strategic purposes, since it seems like you get along better with BIL and MIL you should make them your allies, that will make the SIL outcast. My 2 cents. :) /SaraAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3533986275392579293.post-45422953618224720862010-09-24T20:47:56.368+09:002010-09-24T20:47:56.368+09:00Oooh, juicy details! It is great to hear the Ryota...Oooh, juicy details! It is great to hear the Ryota was supportive, it would have been very lonely (and a bad long term sign) if he didn't. Especially since you live over there. Hopefully things will smooth themselves out given a bit of time. Good luck!<br /><br />My best friend doesn't get along with his inlaws, and his wife takes their side 99% of the time, which frustrates him no end. He actively tries to avoid family engagements as they are so unpleasant for him... The biggest problem is that she is a really nice girl, and gorgeous to boot, and her relos are the only real problem in their relationship...aimlesswanderernoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3533986275392579293.post-66574134302907265212010-09-24T19:01:30.087+09:002010-09-24T19:01:30.087+09:00SIL is such a freak. Don't let her make you fe...SIL is such a freak. Don't let her make you feel like you can't speak up. I'm sure you would have noticed before if the rest of the family had a problem with you. At least Ryota is trying to be fair. He sounds like a keeper.Sarahfhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17570295122864601160noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3533986275392579293.post-2031262407079940622010-09-24T18:39:56.824+09:002010-09-24T18:39:56.824+09:00Ho ho that was so worth the wait. I'm glad yo...Ho ho that was so worth the wait. I'm glad you got to say your bit and that Ryota was supportive and fair to both of you. I still can't believe that the boss got involved - some people just can't keep their nose out of other people's biz-nass. Still, honesty is the best policy and if you can't voice your opinions in your own house, to your family where else are you gonna say it? I still say you're not in the wrong so stay strong!Jessicahttp://www.joshuaandjessica.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3533986275392579293.post-59040086551363660422010-09-24T12:51:02.276+09:002010-09-24T12:51:02.276+09:00Hi there! Long time reader, but this is my first c...Hi there! Long time reader, but this is my first comment.<br /><br />I enjoyed the bit about outspoken Americans! haha My bf is Japanese and he was so shocked when we first started dating and his other Japanese friends would always comment how "honest" I was with him. I was like, yeah! How else should I be? =)<br /><br />Lucky for me, I've only met his sister once and his parents are keen on me, so if we do get married I think I'll dodge the crazy in-laws.<br /><br />If you ever need a good comeback for your SIL, just call her くそばば!It's my favorite insult. :DAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3533986275392579293.post-63353029250360207262010-09-24T12:42:49.182+09:002010-09-24T12:42:49.182+09:00I only spoke up and spoke out with my inlaws when ...I only spoke up and spoke out with my inlaws when I really felt I needed to say it before I imploded. But I don't know about being lumped into the "outspoken American" generalization. I'm sure there are a lot of Americans that can't keep their trap shut over and over again, though. This is what makes me HATE being an American sometimes, the usual stereotypes. What America has become, and how the rest of world views us. Overall I'm not proud at all over how many Americans can act towards other cultures, but I have to believe that we're not all like that! Hopefully. America may be nice in many ways compared to other countries, everywhere has its pros and cons, but I've come to hate being a part of the "obese/materialistic/crumbling educational system/xenophobic" country. Blah.<br /><br />But aside from that, I'm really glad you had Ryota there to translate/mediate, and to support you. I know how hard it is to have to bring our hubs in to do that sort of thing . TK came to despise having that "job" with my inlaws. And I hated having to ask him, but there was never a way around it.ローラhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17694746092692346658noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3533986275392579293.post-47939597059553546442010-09-24T12:32:58.282+09:002010-09-24T12:32:58.282+09:00This comment has been removed by the author.ローラhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17694746092692346658noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3533986275392579293.post-21699902292103524892010-09-24T12:18:07.945+09:002010-09-24T12:18:07.945+09:00I feel ya. Your SIL is definitely out of line and ...I feel ya. Your SIL is definitely out of line and I'm glad that Ryota called her on her holding you to different standards than the rest of the family. That is wrong and she knows it. <br /><br />At the very least, maybe when all is said and done, all the cards will be on the table. Better than anyone bottling anything up! :)<br /><br />I think that the Japanese often think we are too outspoken because the Japanese hardly every express their opinion about anything (a huge point of contention between me and DH). I'm an opinionated American and proud of it, but I do my best to not be rude or overbearing.Jennhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15342895144523490090noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3533986275392579293.post-40922840610500535622010-09-24T11:36:41.468+09:002010-09-24T11:36:41.468+09:00Keep your chin up, your SIL sounds like a right tw...Keep your chin up, your SIL sounds like a right twat and I bet she only used the MIL and sister of MIL to try to add some weight to her argument. There's always at least one in every family isn't there?<br />I have one of my own (SIL) that made my life hell when I was younger. Like you, I hated confrontations too but it's amazing what a few years does to you!!ailsahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03466325821972501761noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3533986275392579293.post-8224804086610405202010-09-24T11:24:20.930+09:002010-09-24T11:24:20.930+09:00This is exactly why I don`t want to live anywhere ...This is exactly why I don`t want to live anywhere near my ILs.<br /><br />I don`t have a problem with my SIL (only met her once as she lives in NY) but can`t stand my MIL who thinks we should all bend to her will.Melaniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07204181790110600031noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3533986275392579293.post-76953759212423761932010-09-24T11:14:03.653+09:002010-09-24T11:14:03.653+09:00I have to admit it's interesting reading about...I have to admit it's interesting reading about other people's drama at times. I'm just too low key to get worked up, or too old, one or the other, to argue with people like your SIL. Of course this is easy for me to say, because our circumstances are much different. There isn't any cultural/language differences for me to contend with. Hopefully things will work themselves out for you in the near future.Just Plain Tiredhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17370008595700891854noreply@blogger.com