Things that are currently pissing me off.

*MIL's ex-ex- boyfriend, god he's a dick.

*Stay at home mothers who bitch and moan. I get it's hard, but try doing everything you do plus another job then have a moan wench.

*My headache.

*Basically not eating and staying the same weight for a week. So frustrating.

*Dog-fucker. (A constant given)

Think that's about it. Fuck this week in the arse, can't wait for next week when I have 5 days off!

Annoying

I've been trying to put some before after pics but the after pic always gets really stretched! Which is funny because it makes me look way fatter than before, but I just gave up, I'll put a before pic and then you'll just have to imagine 8kgs lighter! Fuck it, I'll just add the stretchy picture too...

 No the baby isn't a midget I am actually that fat!!

 

hehe Stretchy!

 

I really should have taken real before and after pictures but I never thought I'd be able to diet as well as I have.

 

In other news... Brother in law has had a tube permanently implanted inside him (somewhere?) to stop the blood clot travelling to his heart. He's also starting rehabilitation this week so hopefully will be up and about and not dying soon!

 

I have to apologise, I just found 4 comments that I hadn't approved, maybe I should turn the comment approve function off now my admirer has stopped leaving creepy comments... Anyway, if I miss a comment I'm so sorry, I get too much mail to my phone and totally miss comments sometimes, must get better at that.

 

Right, off to teach a lesson or two and then it's BBQing time this weekend! Rainy season my arse J-peeps, it rained for like one day!!

 

Happy weekend!

Bullets

*Ryota and I had an awful weekend. He told me I could go to my dance lesson that I used to go to, but then said "Hmmm I don't think you can go EVERY week though..." So I didn't go because there was no point going for one lesson when you have to pay by the month. I didn't even fight, I was just so disappointed and sad. I think he sensed it and felt guilty. It was horrible, I felt so... alone... out of control...?

*He's been super nice to me ever since, guilt has its benefits but I still would rather just be able to go to my fucking dance class.

*I have a chest cold, as in breathing is a difficulty and I sound like a tranny!

*Little bro got back to Japan only to get a blood clot on the plane and almost died again, he's now in the local hospital so finally things are looking better-ish.

*Work is busy, kicking my arse but busy is good and I'm finally finding a balance between work and house shit, getting better with time management.

*I've lost 7 kilos! Wooohoooo, minimal drugs too, just protein shakes instead of lunch and a diet supplement at night. I will be back to my thinner self by my 30th.

*Sometimes I like fighting with Ryota and being busy because I feel too bad to eat, hence the 7kgs...

*Excuse me while I go and cough up a lung or two...

Boiling point

Things are definitely reaching it here! At the moment I think every single family member is pissed with me apart from MIL, but even she might have something to whinge about.

Let's do it in order shall we...

Ryota- So last night I got home at 8pm to (as usual) a cold kitchen, kids not bathed and started fixing dinner. I don't really mind that much, plus if he did manage to do dinner and bath without me the colossal amount of whinging that would follow just totally wouldn't be worth it, but sometimes it would be nice. Anyway, I start getting dinner and I put our salad on the table (dinner is very easy when you're dieting!) then Ryota says he wants natto and some other crap, which granted I do always forget to put on the table. So I say, admittedly in a slight bitch tone, "Well, if you got all this stuff ready before I came home it wouldn't be a problem eh!" And that was it. Silent treatment all night and then again all day. Not like I really give a fuck, and I know what he's thinking, he's playing the 'But I have to look after Bailey card,' but fuck him, I look after him all day and still manage to get shit done. Anyway, we'll see how that turns out after he gets home. I hate that if he's not talking to me I really don't have anyone to talk to, that power REALLY annoys me. Although I should just enjoy the peace, it does get me down which is why I usually cave and apologise first....

Dog fucker- Dog fucker is a general fucking slacker, if I go to drop Bailey off she acts as if she's doing me a favour with her fucking attitude and it shits me, so since Bailey will be starting kindy in July, I'm milking her for every yen I fork over to the miserable cunt and have been leaving 30 minutes before lessons start even when I don't have that much to prep. I think Ryota said something to her about being bitchy because she's been giving me the cold shoulder (more than normal chilliness) and last night as I was getting out of the bath with Bailey fucking ran away like a little bitch because she didn't want to help me dry him while I got dressed. Ryota was at Grandma's house at that point as well so they were all over there while I was struggling to dry squirming baby without letting me rude bits flop out too much. Not a major task but in Japan if someone is available they usually catch and dry for you while you get dressed. I had a bit of a weep at that point because I felt like I was being ganged up against and felt all alone and shit. Silly but that's the emotional train wreck I am these days. Fuck me I need to man up!

Grandma- Grandma constantly gives Ashton snacks when he gets home from kindy (At about 5:30pm) which means he never eats dinner and just ends up eating fucking junk then gets hungry again and eats more junk later while I throw out the perfectly good bento or meal I've made for him. It fucking shits me and the other day I lost it at Grandma and said "Stop giving him snacks for fuck's sake!" I think Ryota had a go at her too because when I went over yesterday and he wasn't eating properly just as I was about to accuse her she got all defensive and said "I didn't give him anything!" I still think she may have snuck him some chips under the table but I let it go anyway.

Fuuuuuuccccckkkk sometimes I just want to run away from them all!

Fuck off fuckers

You know, PMS never effected me, I thought it was something I was immune to but as I get older and pop out more kids the PMS is getting really fucking bad. I find myself actually noticing that I'm irritable, emotional and just generally pissed off. It probably doesn't help that I'm hard core dieting (5kgs gone baby!!!) which also makes me pretty pissed off at the world.

Anyway, the thing that pissed me off (today).

We're still paying dog-fucker (I know the dog is dead but she'll never be known as anything else) to look after Bailey, because he can't get into kindy yet, it's so fucking expensive and I can't wait till July when he's going to kindy even if it's a different one to Ash but until then I just have to grit my teeth and fork out the cash. So I let her know at the beginning of April that April and May are always super fucking busy, so I'd need to leave 20 minutes before the lessons started in order to prepare my shit, I don't think this is unreasonable, and at a handsome sum of about $900 a month I don't think it's too much to ask.

So today was busy, basically I had a 30 minute break all day (now!)

8:30am- Ash's class observation
11am: Come home do bare minimum house work.
12pm: Leave to work at a kindy about 20 minutes away.
3pm: Finish kindy.
3:30pm-4pm: Break
4pm-7pm: Teach at the school.

It's a pretty full day and I was hoping that dog-fucker and Grandma might appreciate that. No such luck.

So I get home from the class obs and Bailey sleeps so I get to down my protein shake, do the washing, washing up and general tidying, Bailey wakes up just as I'm about to leave and he hasn't eaten lunch, but fuck he was asleep, what could I do?!
So I take him over to Grandma's house and Grandma says: Has he eaten lunch?? And I said 'No, sorry.' Then dog-fucker is upstairs and I start giving Bailey yesterday's left over dinner but really need to get out the door. So I say in kind of a bigg-ish voice, 'OK, I'll be off now!' Hoping she'd get the point and come and take over, then Grandma totally fucking chews me out, saying 'You're going now??? Don't you have time to give him lunch!?'...

Am I wrong for thinking that if you take on the responsibility of child-minding (not for free mind you!) that feeding lunch is a pretty basic task that comes with the job?!

I wanted to screech that at Grandma but instead I said with just a slight hiss, 'No, I work at the kindy on Fridays, I have to get there.'

So after Ryota bitching about my mum's behaviour the whole time she was here, I swiftly mailed him to say I was not happy. It made me feel better and his response was pretty good too: "Don't worry, they're dickheads."

Meh, it's not for much longer, I'm probably overreacting due to PMS and carbs craving! Thank fuck it's Friday, just one more day of work left!!!

Everyone's leaving!

There are so many people quitting blogging! What the hell is up?!

Not that I'm one to talk with my sporadic, boring updates...

We've been having crazy times here in the semi-inaka!

*The school, after being not busy at all and actually making me rethink whether never seeing my kids was worth having it, has been crazy busy.

*My mum is visiting, which has been mainly good but with me being busy and her just babysitting for me I feel kind of bad. Plus Ryota and my mum don't really get along, well they do, but only to keep the peace, if it came down to it they actually really don't like each other at all I suspect. They both piss me off in different ways at times but they're both my family who I love and I'm happy they keep it civil for my sake.

*Little bro, who is still in Australia, exactly one year after his brain bleed last year, had a major stroke and is still in ICU. With no insurance. Costing $4500 a night... It's pretty fucked up and he's paralysed on his left side but we're hoping he makes a recovery, we still don't know much.

*I've been using every spare moment I have to exercise, I have very little free time these days and since it's my 30th in less than 6 months I cannot be a whale for those fucking photos. Craving carbs and sweets but I did it before, I WILL do it again.

Riding

I feel like life in general always comes in waves. Good waves, bad waves, scary choppy waves, and those big fuckers that pull you all the way up and then dump you under leaving you spluttering and picking sand out of your minge for the next 3 days. I like the waves. As I've mentioned before, I like that life isn't boring, that things go up and down. Maybe that's why I stay with Ryota, I know I'd be totally fucking bored with a nice simple lad??

Anyway, as I get older, I can actually feel the way the waves are going. It's not like when I was younger and I didn't think about the way life was, how it was at the time, and where it was going.
At the moment I feel like life is on a generally good wave. Life is alright. Bailey is finally growing up out of the baby stage, Ash has practically left home (he sleeps at Grandma's house the little bastard!!), work is good, and Ryota and I survived 2 weeks together so I feel if we survived that we can survive pretty much anything.

This wasn't the case up until a little while ago, I felt very unsure about the school, I think I always get that way in April, people quit and you feel betrayed in some way, and then all these new people sign up come May and you feel like a twat for getting your knickers in a twist.

So that's why I haven't been blogging that much, life is comfortable enough that I really don't have that much to bitch about. yes my arse is about 4 times bigger than I'd like it and Yes Ryota can be a royal fuckwit at times, but apart from that. Life is good... Sorry!