30

Well I turned 30 and I didn't turn into a pumpkin or anything! It was actually a really good weekend, apart from the bit where I was going out for a few drinks and Ryota chucked a minor hissy fit about me leaving him with the kids and accused me of being a bad mother. I was almost guilted into not going too, but I did in the end. I know how he feels, I leave him with the kids a lot when I'm working but he can't seem to get the fact that I'm WORKING. If I went out every night, or even every weekend on the piss then he'd have grounds to be a little bitch, but I rarely go out on  anymore so it really pisses me off that he would say that. It was all good in the end anyway.

So here is my life in a nutshell until now. Kinda scary...

0-5- I was the 2nd daughter of my British parents in Australia. White, privileged, semi-rich. My parents were both 40 when I was born so I had a pretty tame childhood.

5-12- I went to the local primary school and was a generally normal whitie. I wasn't really that smart, but always diligent and not a total dummy. Lived with Mum, Dad and older sister in the same house since I was born.

11- My sister was a total rebel and amid a blaze of fights with my Dad, moved out of home when she was 16. I felt kind of like an only child from that point. My sister was stubbornly independent so my parents poured a lot into me.

12-18- Went to the local high school and was all round average as regards to study. Again, not dumb, but not smart. I was kind of nerdy in the early years but in the end got in with the "cool" crowd and went drinking on Friday nights and stuff. I was chubby all through high school, I've always been fucking tall and usually chubby. I worked part time at a clothing shop on weekends for extra cash. Studied Japanese by chance at high school and came to Japan for the first time on a school trip for 3 weeks when I was 15. I loved my time here and I think in some ways had already decided I wanted to come back, if not live here one day.

18-21- Got into University for an arts degree and studied Japanese, just because there was absolutely nothing else that interested me. Actually university didn't really interest me, I used to go to classes and then get the fuck out as soon as I could, the only friends I really made there were ones from high school. Met my boyfriend (at a club, not at uni!) who I fell totally in love with. Looking back, maybe that's why I wasn't really interested in uni, all my time was spent with my boyfriend! Said boyfriend and I were together all through uni, until he took a job on an island very fucking far away. It was the plan that I would graduate and then join him or he would come back.

21- My beloved boyfriend dumped my arse on my 21st birthday. Looking back now, I was devastated, but I also was a chubby fucker with little to no self esteem who had only really loved one person. Still, it hit me hard, and I had to decide what the hell to do after I graduated. I contemplated working my shitty part time job full time, but the thought of going to uni when I didn't really want to, only to not use my degree at all was kind of depressing, so I decided to try an interview with NOVA to come to Japan. I got it (Anyone got a job with NOVA at that point, not that I knew that).
I went to Japan scared shitless but feeling slightly like I had fuck all to lose after having my heart broken. I moved in with a bitchy Australian girl and another awesome Australian girl, thank God for the good one, if it had just been the bitch I never would have stayed.

22-24- I drank these 2 years away with a drinking buddy, moved out of the NOVA house and into my own flat, and pretty much worked and drank. So fucking fat with all the drinking and bad food. I HATED men too, I vowed I was never going to date again. I think I needed that time though. At about 23 my drinking buddy and I decided to do a 10km run, I can't remember why, just to see if we could do it maybe...? And we did, and my love of running (which I'd always hated with a passion) began. I also lost lots of weight and screwed lots of guys, a few Japanese, but mostly bar hopping foreigners. It was a fun, but pretty messed up time for me!

24- I met Ryota at a club and we instantly started dating, it was bliss and I remember thinking, "Fuck I'm fucking falling in love again!" 2 months of bliss and my period was late, a home test said "pregnant" and my life was to change forever. Ryota hadn't even said "I love you" yet and we were talking about when we should get married, it was surreal. We went to a clinic in Osaka to check I was actually pregnant and to discuss options, but after hearing about abortion, (to which I've always been/ still am pro-choice) we went for hamburgers and I just couldn't stop crying whenever I thought about it. Strange, because I would think I would instantly consider abortion in that situation, it just wasn't an option for me, plus Ryota wasn't keen on an abortion but said he's support me whatever.

25- I quit my job and went back to Australia for 3 months for Ash to be born. The birth and motherhood in general was the hardest thing I'd ever attempted, I wasn't a natural by any means. Ryota worked for a small landscaping company which had it's good points but the work wasn't reliable and the hours were long. I took a year off to see if I was the housewife type. We also needed a place to live, and by a stroke of luck (or not perhaps) the house opposite Grandma's house was empty and the owner was very happy for us to live there and pay 30,000 yen a month rent (dirt cheap for a house).

26- I wasn't. I think the year I took off with Ash was the most boring and hard of my life. Not only is being a stay at home mum exhausting, it also has very little rewards or appreciation, so I started looking for private students to teach at McDonald's. And I got more than I could handle and decided that when Ash was 1, I was either going back to my old job, or I was going to start my own school. And so we got Ash into kindy and started searching for a place to rent. It took a long time and we looked at so many places, but finally decided on a place near our house that had been deserted for the past 10 years. It was a daunting decision, but there really wasn't that much risk involved, we forked out about $10,000 to renovate the space but apart from that and the furniture there wasn't that much invested.

26-28- I worked hard to build up the school and raise Ash, it was busy at times but I also knew I wanted more than one kid, so I couldn't focus everything on the school until I was sure I was done popping out kids. It was then that I went off the pill and little Bailey was made, I got pregnant in a month, I thought Ash might have been a fluke but no, I'm just really damn fertile.

28- Bailey was born and I never stopped working, because even when you get another teacher in, you never stop working when it's your own school. Ryota and I went through the toughest time of our marriage and I actually thought I was going to join the shotgun marriage statistic majority and be a divorcee with 2 little kids. We got an offer to buy our house for a ridiculously cheap price and took the chance. At the pace we're going it will be paid off next year.

29- Was all about the school and raising the kiddies.

30- So the next step?? Keep the school going, keep the kids alive, try not to end up divorced. And I actually want another baby, as fucking mental as it is. Can't help those damn motherly instincts.