Wedding blues

This post will try to be more of a reflective one rather than a whingy one... I feel my British roots are showing a bit too much lately and all I'm doing is moaning. Perhaps it's all the rain and gloomy weather that there's been lately, turning me into a whinging pom!

Ash is doing much much better, and he has learnt to wave and clap in the space of a few days! (bored grandparents that won't change a fucking nappy but will wave like a spastic at the baby for hours!?)
He's back to his smiley, giggly, devious old self again which makes me very happy. And how Japanese is he, we've dismantled the cot and he now sleeps on a few blankies on the floor, much to my mum's dismay and disbelief. He does still want to sneak into bed with me in the middle of the night, not only in bed but under my arm and nuzzle in. (I secretly love it despite stiff neck and fear of squashage)

My BFF came over yesterday and showed me her beautiful diamond and shared her romantic engagement proposal news; deserted beach in Hawaii, one-knee and all that jazz. I am very happy for her but it got me thinking of the lack of romance in my life. It's not Ryota's fault, fuck, he's Japanese, romance just isn't as big in Japan, I get that. But it feels like we have no... spark?? anymore. I say anymore, we never really did...
I'm going to be bridesmaid at my friends wedding, which is exciting and I hope I don't get preggers this time! (My other best friend asked me to be bridesmaid and I ended up giving birth a few days before the wedding!!)

Another thing that is making me crave romance is the public displays of affection here. Japan is very tame when it comes to public touching/kissing/canoodling and to be honest I'm not sure which side of the fence I sit on with this one. I really don't need to see Shazza sticking her tongue down Dazza's throat and grabbing his stiffy through his shorts, but I went for a jog along the beach today and there was some nice tasteful lovey dovey shit going on and it made me smile. Ryota and I rarely hold hands in public, of course, that's because our hands are usually full of nappies/dummies/toys etc. But we never did it much even pre-baby. We never kiss on the lips in public and never in front of his family, we do cheek kisses and hugs and that's about it.

Anyway, back to wedding blues...as happy as I am for my besty, and I really am, I'm kinda glad I won't be here to plan the wedding with her, isn't that horrible!! But it would just remind me of my fairytale wedding I had planned in my head since I was 12 that I never got and will never have. I watched 'The wedding of Trista and Ryan' today, you know that bachelorette show that used to be on?? The wedding cost 4 million US which is ridiculous, and the choice of flowers and some of the stuff made me want to vomit, but there was that princess part of me that usually gets buried very deep that did a big sigh and little daydream about dresses and diamonds and cakes and flowers...

I'll get over it, if I really think about it, I'd much rather spend the money on a house or an overseas holiday.... But the dress and the table settings.... haha, I have a tom boy/princess war that frequently battles in my head!

I wonder about other couples and the public display/ romance level, am I being too girly and weird?? I'd say the answer is very likely, to be yes...

"Rabu Rabu" Sunday

You know how in books when the husband is being extra nice to the wife they think they're cheating...? that's kind of what it's been like for us lately.

Maybe since the mother's day blowout? Or I also have sneaking suspicions that someone in Ryota's family may have given him an earful that if he upsets the foreign girl too much she may just run back to Australia with the first grandson and never come back.

Either way I'm happy, Ryota has been incredibly sweet and helpful lately, which is good because it makes the 5:30am bento making a little easier! Hmmm let's see, tamagoyaki, meatballs, salad and a side of bitterenss sweetheart? haha that's what it can feel like sometimes when I'm pissed off!

But mornings like this morning are great, where I get up and actually want to get on with the day and make an effort to do nice things for Ryota. Of course this could all change when he gets home tonight and does something to make me want to tear my hair out...

Up until now Sundays haven't been very relaxing, since they are the only day Ryota has off they have been used for fixing the house, I say fixing the house, I mean Ryota gets busy with the drill while I instruct him where to put things... It wasn't good for either of us, so now the house is pretty much done, Sundays are more of a date/ family type day.

Yesterday we went pet shopping and had lunch out with little Ash, the weather was really nice and then we came home and watched a movie, had a little nap and Ryota cooked dinner for us, which is very rare!
It could be our 'kekkon shukudai' (Marriage homework) rule we now go by. Every Sunday night when we go to bed, we choose something (reasonable) that we want the other to do for us at some time in the coming week. Last week, Ryota wanted me to make more of an effort to lock all of the doors in the house. Fair enough, although with Grandma on the prowl any burglar would be pretty ballsy to mess with her! And I wanted Ryota to be a little bit more romantic. hehe Such a girly, vague request, but he did very well.
From what I've heard, Ryota's ex-girlfriends weren't very girly girls and weren't into the whole romance thing and it's going to take him a bit more time to perfect the art I think!

I recommend marriage homework, it helps you get what you want without nagging, although I still do my fair share.


On a totally different note, I hope my Ashton boy isn't too fat?! He's almost four months old and already 9kg. He's in L size nappies and such a pudgy little thing! Is it dangerous for babies who are exclusively breastfeeding to be too big or am I just being paranoid??

Here's my little sumo man...