Oops, been a bit between blogginess lately, I've been busy with work is my excuse and I'm sticking to it!
Although I do have 4 students now, and getting out of the house is so good, if I've learnt one thing from this whole having baby experience, it's that a good stay at home housey wifey type, I am not.
We're paying SIL 500 yen an hour to look after Ash while I'm working which pisses me off because I'm incredibly cheap. Is 500 yen average?? High?? Low??? Not up with usual babysitting rates but fuck me she's got nothing better to do, but I won't get into that little caper...
I miss a lot of things about pre-baby life. I miss being on my own, I miss not having to worry about anyone else unless I wanted to, I miss going out on a whim, I miss having the energy to dance and drink all night, I miss going to work after one of those nights and stumbling through the day and then falling into bed, I miss working for that matter, I miss dressing up, I miss being totally selfish... I miss lots of things but fuck me the thing I miss the most, is sleep.
And you know something, I never appreciated bastard sleep when I was single, I used to bitch and moan that I was an "insomniac"!!!! God I was a fucking dick. But now I can't sleep properly, I daydream about having a full 10 hours, even 4 would be good at the moment.
I can safely say that Ash has never slept through the night. Ever. EVER! he's almost 1 people!
I know some babies are better sleepers than others but it just seems ridiculous. Now the western approach leans towards independent sleeping and in a routine, if this helps him sleep I'm all for it but of course the 'Kawaisous' could be heard all over the place when i mentioned trying to let Ash cry it out for a short amount at a time to get him used to getting to sleep by himself. I researched it, I got some great advice from Sassymoo, and i even convinced Ryota that we needed to at least try something different. He got partially on board, but after the first night trying, Ryota went to get Ash after a crying spell and Ryota just couldn't hack it.
I must admit, I blamed Ryota for quitting, but secretly I was dying inside too, Ash was shaking and just looked sooooo scared, I don't think I could have lasted much longer.
We've had some horror nights lately, with him waking up every hour and going right off and there was one night where I just sobbed and howled right along with him, I couldn't help it. He's still sleeping with us and he's still waking up a lot, but the only thing he's done the last few nights has gone to sleep (laying on top of me!) by himself, fairly quietly. It's got to be a step in the right direction!
Sleep deprivation can do things to your head, I've felt like a walking zombie lately and am seriously considering not having any more kids, don't think I could go through another sleepless year!