Friday, 19 November 2010

Funny how...

having kids is useful for a few things.

Ryota and I had a big fight the other night over the state of our fridge. Now let me just say that I am pretty bad with throwing shite out, I pulled an onion that had grown a long curly tail from my last place when I moved, it's one of my weak housewifey points that I really will try to improve. Now Ryota claims that he is totally the opposite to me in this area, yet he let it go as long as I did. This could probably be because he cooks fuck all and never actually has need to go to the fridge but that's a whinge for another day...
Anyway, other night Ryota starts having a go at me about the fridge and decides to take it upon himself to clean it out. Which is awesome, but the way he went about it and the things he was saying were Japan's next top wanker material. PLUS, he started just as I was sitting down to my poached eggs and lettuce leaves, I mean come on, a dieting girl doesn't get to enjoy food anymore, at least let her have her fucking poached eggs in peace while she dreams of frying the fuckers and smothering them in hollandaise sauce!

He looked at every use by date and took some kind of sick joy in announcing the date, one item at a time. His voice got increasingly animated the further he got to the back of the fridge. "MAY!!!! MAYYYYY, Corinne what month is it!!!????"
Fuck off wanky boy, zip it and just throw that shit out!! I was so pissed, I'd worked all day as well which wasn't helping my mood. So this went on until the whole fridge was bad food free and then I had the lovely job of washing all the bottles and jars along with all the dinner dishes. As I was washing away like Cinderella he was still hovering over me and making snippy comments, of course my housewifey spirit was beyond crushed at that point and all I wanted to do was for him to fuck off and for me to have a good old sob into the dish water. Ryota HATES women who cry, he thinks it's weak and stupid. (married the wrong girl buddy, you'll think about that next time you have unprotected shags with girls who haven't cried in front of you yet!!) But I've found that me crying only makes our fights worse (not that we have that many) so usually I restrain myself then have a weep in the toilet or the shower. I was beyond holding back though the other night, but luck was on my side (kinda) and I managed to jam my right finger in the cupboard door and pinch the skin between my hand and my wedding ring. My wedding ring is too big for my left hand now (woohhooo!!!) so wearing it on the right when I'm not used to it wasn't a good idea, the bastard pinched so hard it started bleeding, hurt like a mother fucker but was a great opportunity to have a cry and disguise it as a pain cry! Ryota felt kind of bad then and just sulked off to the lounge room leaving me in my blubbering state.

After all the washing was done we still weren't talking and this would have continued had Ash not saved the day by being such a funny little bugger. These are the days I'm glad I had a baby when I did, what would I do in fight situations if he wasn't here!? He managed to take all his clothes off in the hopes I'd get in the bath with him, then went over to sulky Daddy and rubbed his little dick in his face screaming "Peeeeeeeeeeeeennnnnnnnieeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!" in demented delight. It was so beyond awesome, I laughed so hard I spilled my tea and then we all just started laughing hysterically. The fight was then officially over as we tried to hide our laughter in the hope of educating our child to not rub his "peenie" in other random strangers faces for a laugh.

The reason I was thinking about the good things about having kids was the story I saw today, I'm sure you've seen it, a couple have a poll on their blog about whether to abort their child or not, attention grabbing idiots, but still, made me think. Ryota and I considered abortion in the early stages, never that seriously but seriously enough to get all the info. We couldn't do it in the end but I did have my doubts about having a baby so young with someone I hardly knew...

As it turned out, I have a kid who rubs his cock in people's faces, blames others for his farts and can fit 4 chicken nuggets in his mouth at once... No regrets at all!

8 comments:

  1. I just had to look up the link about the couple having a vote to decide abortion.
    http://www.birthornot.com

    They are going to wait until the day before the legal abortion cut off date in their state. I can understand having an abortion but putting it all out there and more than that - one day in it becoming illegal. Putting ultrasound pictures of a healthy baby and then saying you might abort. Fuck'n holy mother of god.

    Going to pour me another glass of wine.

    And you Corinne are a dieting legend. Bloody poached eggs on toast. I swear when I can get rid of all children to paid childcare I will join your wagon.

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  2. Who knew a penis in the face would stop an argument cold? I was thinking that is an excellent tactic, until I realized an adult doing it would probably get me arrested. ;)

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  3. "Japan's next top wanker" RMFAO!!
    Your kid is beyond awesome. And that's an understatement. It's so obvious he gets it from you.
    My sympathies on the poached eggs and all (we're all there somwhere)but it must be worth it? Right?
    Ryota should also know that the alternative to the crying housewife is the pissed off one who's willing to smack his head with a frying pan, so he really should reconsider ;)

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  4. I second Kaja's comment. Then again, that's cause my darling, sweet, gentle Japanese wife isn't a big crier. She's more of the frying pan over my head variety. Ouch!

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  5. love love love it!!! Ash sounds stellar! Hate it too when hub gives a grumbling running comment on how things `should` be done..gah!

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  6. Send Ryota over here, he'd have a field day. I got food poisomning from year old mayonnaise, and the next time I wanted some, I found an even older bottle. We're thinking of becoming scientists.
    I read about that couple. They are absolute morons. God help the child if they decide to keep it. Deciding to keep Ash must have been a difficult decision at the time but he sounds like a great kid!

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  7. That is awesome. My husband never notices our fridge until he goes to someone's house and is all "daymn that is disgusting" but he has never cleaned ours. And he has cleaned the toilet precisely twice in his life. I cleaned my sister's fridge for her last month and she had stuff that had expired in 2008 in there. She had a peach that looked like a wad of beef jerky.

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  8. I love your blog and am a frequent reader and lurker. Just wanted to post that the birthornot site was a hoax by an anti-choice guy: http://www.cnn.com/2010/US/11/23/minnesota.abortion/

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