Wednesday 8 December 2010

And so it begins again.

Oh yes, the dog-fucker tensions are again rising. I'm going to compare her to, say, North Korea, (because if she could read this it would really piss her off...) she's a loner with ridiculous ideas on how the world works, aggressive, annoying and the rest of the world wishes she would just fuck right off.

Things have been quite calm of late with my dear dog-fucking sister-in-law, it was almost as if the big SMAP blow-out of 2010 didn't happen. Of course, being the grudge holder that I am, I haven't forgotten that she is actually a mental case who could go berserk at any moment, but on the exterior we've all been playing happy families. I've given her a lift a few times, she's watched Ash for me, so it's been all good.

Then the other day, a haircut was mentioned.

Dog-fucker and I used to go to the hair salon together, in the good old days before I felt like smacking her across the face every time I saw her, but since the SMAP argument, there have been no happy hair salon excursions, and quite frankly I was glad all that shit came to an end. It always ended up awkward anyway and if one of us wanted to go to the salon the other felt obligated to go too, even if we didn't really need anything doing. I rarely have the need to go anymore either, since I've recruited MIL to dye my roots for me and am growing my hair so don't really need cuts all that regularly. But when we got our discount tickets in the mail and dog-fucker asked me if we should go together, I looked at my split ends and thought that a trim couldn't hurt so agreed I'd go if my teaching schedule allowed.

Now, it's OK for her, all she has to do in a week is:
*Fuck the dog, as much as possible.
*Feed the dog. (All that love gives him a big appetite.)
*Walk the dog. And make sure to lick it's arse after the fresh turd pops out.
*Walk the dog at 5am and then sleep-in until lunch time every day. Because all this dog business gets exhausting!
*Go to work. Once every 2 weeks, if that, mind you.

So for her, it really wasn't that hard to find a time to go to the salon. On the other hand, I have to do things such as clean and cook and pay bills, work, shop, organise, budget and a whole other heap of shit that she would never understand as she's still got one of her mummy's tits in her mouth on a permanent basis. (I'd mention Grandma's tits too as they come into the equation but that image is very disturbing... trust me I've seen them!)
But I was sure a compromise could be met by me giving her a window of best time for me, which happened to be Thursday or Friday mornings, I have lessons but not until the afternoon. So she calls the salon, and makes the appointment for...Thursday afternoon! Silly twat. What part of morning did she not understand?! In my day morning meant before 12, not at 12, not after 12 and certainly not at 2pm. She mailed me the result of her useless appointment making skills and I promptly replied back that 2 was no good for me, but it was no problem, she should just go get her cut, I'd go another time. I was the one after all that has an awkward schedule.

Now seeing as though she was the one who fucked up the arrangements, I thought this was a pretty fair reply, I think I even put a little bowing man symbol in to signify the fact that I was humbly sorry for my busy-ness (how Japanese of me...) So I was more than a little fucked off when she replied back with: "What time are you teaching?? It's only a cut, it doesn't matter if it's not at the time you're teaching, right?"
I didn't reply to this, because 1) I would have just been repeating what I'd written in the first mail, and 2) Don't fuckin question me bitch, if i say I've got shit to do, I do!
I think this is one of the things the in-laws really don't get, Ryota included. Teaching (especially when you teach everything yourself from scratch) is all about the preparation. Especially kids lessons which require cards and games and materials and all that fiddly stuff.

So long story short, my mail snub resulted in total silent treatment snub from her over the last few days, which is cool, if only she could leave it at that but I know there will be some big confrontation at some point in the future over this. She may even bring Kimutaku back into it and claim I've been slandering him behind her back. Who knows with that crazy one.
Ryota also accidentally deleted her ipod music library the other day too which hasn't been helping with our family relations, I snickered on the inside of course. So we shall see, you all will be the first to know the minute shit goes down!

Diet update, for those interested:
12kgs down but appears to be slowing down, this could be due to the fact that I've been quite lazy and not running as much as I should be.


  1. Love the SIL posts. Always good entertainment. But, 12 kgs?! That's fucking monumental! That's a 2 year-old!! You should be feeling awesome!!

  2. 12 kg - that's awesome!! Nearly Ryu weight. Wow, I'd love to lose a Ryu full of flab off my thugs and flummy. Good job.
    Stupid SIL - and I agree English teaching very rarely just involves the one hour you are teaching. Hub doesn't understand this either.

  3. Love your blog, but i am missing out on the first blow up with the dog-fucker SIL! Do you have a link to that entry?!

  4. OMG 12KG!!! Awesome! Congradulations!

    Anyway dogfucker is just a spoiled cow if you don't mind me saying.

  5. Holy cats - 12kg?! You should be so proud of yourself! I don't even want to think about how much running that is.

  6. Congrtaulations on your weight loss.

  7. 12kg, WOW! Well done. That is MORE than Noah weighs (he still hasn`t hit 9kg yet) and when I think about losing him from my hip that is a hell of a lot of weight.

    How is MIL going with it?

    Your SIL is such a head case.

  8. From the unbiased view of your blog, it seems like Ryo's parents didn't have, as such, a good success rate with their 3 kids. Ryo turned out alright (though marrying a gaijin), the daughter is waaay too friendly with her pet, doesn't work and has weird ideas even by Japanese standards, and the other son doesn't seem to be doing much at all from memory.

  9. fantastic on the 12kg! Keep it up!
    How is MIL going with it?

  10. The Kimutaku references just crack me up. Doesn't she realize he's married?