So last Sunday I mentioned that I was chaperoning Dog-fucker to the apple store to see about her broken microphone on her iphone. As I knew, the service was impeccable and they quickly gave her a new phone no questions asked. I think they know only having one apple store in Kansai means us Hyogo people are going to be already pissed when we get there so they don't even bother giving anyone the fuck around. So I was expecting Dog-fucker to piss me off but actually the day turned out well! Ryota drove us there in record time, Ash was well-behaved, got the phone in enough time to make Thai buffet lunch, pretty much the perfect day really.
If only the fucking little sluts hadn't ruined it for me. I don't really like Japanese hugh school girls to begin with, they're loud, annoying and childish. Well, apart from the ones I teach, they're alright... It depends on the school. Good private school girls are fine, but the coloured-hair, make-up wearing noisy girls opening their legs to most of the prefecture can be exremely annoying but I usually just avoid them unless they are up for some gaijin hunting when I have to engage.
So Sunday morning I went out on my bike with Ash for a 100 yen store mission. The big store is about a 25 minute bike ride away and we were leaving for the apple store so I had to make that ride 20 minutes and get in and out of there quickly to keep our schedule. I love schedules, hate breaking them, love making and keeping them. So nothing was getting in my way. Well, nothing except the gaggle of fucking high school girls with skirts so short I could see what they'd had for breakfast.
I'll try and explain the situation but it's a bit hard to imagine... So there's a big road, like a highway, with traffic whizzing along in both lanes. I was travelling along that road (on the footpath) and along that road are side streets. I crossed the intersections with pretty much no problem until I came to one side street where the group of sluts were gathered chatting loudly and (no shit) putting on make-up on their bikes waiting to cross the big bastard road. Now if they'd just lined up 2 by 2 there would have been room for bikes to cross the small road, but no, they were gathered so that they were completely blocking the path. I was about to ring my bell when an old man coming the other way rang his. Once nicely, pause, twice nicely, pause, again twice. These fucking rude little bitches looked at him and ignored him, didn't move. What the fuck?! Respect your fucking elders much? Wow, I sound really old but it fucks me off now I'm old enough to be pissed off at high schoolers. The old man gave a look of desperation and stopped his bike but I wasn't stopping, my precious schedule was at stake. So I said in Japanese "Move!" and then in English "for fuck's sake!" just because there's nothing that feels quite as good in Japanese.
They swirled their primped little heads around, they'd been watching and ignoring the old man and hadn't noticed me coming but still didn't move, so I slammed on the brakes and again said "Move! What you hard of hearing or something?!" with "stupid cunts" tacked on in English, again,purely for my benefit.
They looked a bit bewildered and finally one girl moved about an inch back but still not enough for me to get past so I moved forward with my massive electric bicycle, slamming the front wheel into hers muttering obscenities in English until she moved. They were silent, exchanging giggles and glances until I was far enough away looking furiously at my watch to see how far behind I was on my schedule, but I did hear faint screeches of "Annoying foreigner go home!" when the little pussy bitches were sure I wouldn't come back. Honestly if I wasn't so rushed, I would have, they really fucking annoyed me or some reason. Probably because old men are usually really rude on bicycles here but the old man who was blocked like me was actually really nice, just rang his bell and didn't say anything. If he disrespected them then fair enough but he totally didn't, they just had no regard for him, or me, or anyone but themselves. Youngens today!
It's the first time it's actually happened to me but the in-laws assured me it's a growing trend in kids today in Japan. Sad really, in a society that is built on respect for elders.
OK read that over and my explaination was crap, so I drew a diagram!
Anyway, point is, they really pissed me off, blocking the way is just bad manners to me, especially on purpose.
So have you ever been in this type of situation?? Am I an old fart for being pissed??
P.S. My spell check isn't working! Dear God please forgive me for the typos, it was in between lessons!
The other morning I yelled at a bunch of schoolkids to wait for people to get off the bus before they get on. They have every morning since then but I bet it only lasts a week.
ReplyDeleteI love yelling at schoolkids though. I'm so heading to grumpy old bag territory.
It did feel pretty good, especailly because they reminded me of AKB48 members, I'm totally gaining credits for grumpy old bag-dom too!
DeleteI'm always going a lot faster than most normal people, whether i'm walking or biking or whatever, so i always feel like people are in my way!
ReplyDeleteI did have a kind of similar experience today though, although less exciting and involved middle-aged men instead of slutty high school girls. I was on my way to see my acupuncturist, on my bike, and there was a car and 3 men lined up just standing there blocking the entire sidewalk. No idea what they were doing, just standing there faffing around and staring off into space. I rang my bell twice, one of them finally took a step back but the other two just kind of stood there and stared at me as i tried to squeeze my bike through the bitty space the one guy had created for me. Nothing major but still annoying. Just effing move, people!
Ahh yes the footpath space starers are extremely annoying too! Although I find they are usually shocked back to reality with a ring of the bell or a hearty "summimasen!" but these girls just weren't budging for anyone!
Delete"I'm old enough to be pissed off at high schoolers."
ReplyDeleteI think a little part of you died when typing that.
When you stop matching your bra and panties your unofficially "old" and when you type the sentence above it becomes "official" :)
Your drawing was so good I felt like I was there btw ;)
If I was there I woulda helped you...if making them so wet with excitement they woulda slipped off their bicycle seats and hit their heads on the ground could be considered "helping" ;)
Oh my god why didn't I call you!? Ah well, next time when some hot girls annoy me I'll be sure to call you so you can make them giddy with desire! ;)
DeleteMatching bra and panties?! I'm lucky if I remember them see days!
LOVE the diagram.
ReplyDeleteThanks, I really worked hard on it you know, nice to be appreciated! :D
DeleteProud member of the old bag club, here, and I still have three high school age children! Whenever we are out in public and some kids their age are obnoxious I manage to get in warnings how I'd better never catch them acting like that. It's fun to be an old fart! And your diagram made me laugh hard enough to spill my tea.
ReplyDeleteYup, it's good for our kids, we may be old bags but our kids will never have to suffer the wrath of another old bag from our teachings!
DeleteI love this post. I would have done something similar ... But i think maybe the Osaka sluts are slightly easier scared than scary foreigner with mama charie than the inaka ones - maybe theres more foreigners of them to be scared of.
ReplyDeleteI am a scary bitch on a bike, but I would have also taken down the name of the school from their uniforms VERY obviously, like stopping for fifteen seconds and whipping out a notebook and staring at their badge - copying the logo and shit. Then I would have whipped out my iphone camera and started photographing them. And then tell them "Im gonna tell your school and its going to go on your permanent record and youll never get a company job" That'll scare them.
I did this once with an asshole drivers registration plate, when i was on my bike and he was being a DICK, and then he rolled down his window and said "gomen ne!" So now I think it works for everything...
Oooooo that would have been a good idea! They weren't wearing uniforms though. They may have been junior high school girls but definitely no older than high school.
DeleteYou are a very very misguided individual. Or I could just have said "American".
ReplyDeleteAhh now see if I was American I wouldn't have been upset by bad manners, I would have just joined those girls in their blatant disregard for anyone but themselves, duh!
DeleteWhy do you keep going on and on about Americans?? It's getting a little old....
DeleteAll Americans are definitely not asshats, I love a great number of Americans Margaret, including you for having a sense of humor! :)
DeleteAnd dear anonymous, if that really is you name! I didn't mention Americans in this post, I believe I was bitching about Japanese girls... The above anonymous commenter(life gets so confusing when nobody uses their name!) went out of left field to which I responded with a thing called 'sarcasm.' I use it a lot, but they really need to invent a 'sarcasm font' for people who don't get it.
DeleteShe's Australian, not American, numb-nuts.
DeleteI think we all know that by now...
DeleteWhat makes you think we thought she was American???
DeleteKid's these days, eh? Wouldn't have happened in my day, don't know they're born etc etc.
ReplyDeleteCaning's too good for them, I say. Bring back the birch! Never did me any harm and so forth and so on.
Excuse me, channelling my inner Little-Englander there. Don't know what came over me.
The trend for the 'yoot' back home is to wear their trousers with the waistband round their knees. If you have to bugger about with your own outerwear to get other people to see your pants, then frankly you're not doing it right.
On a side-note, I did a post a while back where I tangentially mentioned In the Realm of the Senses and now I keep getting search engine hits for 'egg fucking'. I think this'll be worse for you, though.
First I had no clue on the actual situation you described, then I thought about it for a good minute and thought I had it all figured out where the sluts were in relation to you, Ash, old guy and moving cars... Then I saw the diagram and now I feel even more confused ;)
ReplyDeleteAnd I think that being pissed off at obnoxious teenagers is a sound reaction anywhere in the world - good for you telling them off! See if you can find them one on one later and they'll beg you for mercy!
I'm so glad I confused a cat!
DeleteI'd probably chicken out if I saw them again, it was a bit of a heat of the moment bitch actually.
The diagram made it all clear. I felt like I was there, and equally annoyed. High school kids on bikes do my head in, I nearly collided with one this morning as he came round a blind corner on the wrong side of the road and I was coming the oter way. A sorry might have helped! Grrr. Old bag territiry it may be, but there are just some things that get me riled!!
ReplyDeleteYup, the ones that come flying around corners are just downright dangerous! We need to get an 'old foreign bags' club going!
DeleteI thought you'd like this song ~ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r6f3Upe81Wo&feature=fvsr
ReplyDeletekids can be dicks all over the world.... fact.
ReplyDeletei wish you would have turned back and yelled at them some more eheh...
still, story makes for a nice post ^_-