Thursday, 11 July 2013

Dog fucker fireworks

Since the time Dog fucker and I really got into it with the Kimutaku fight, I've actually had times where I almost begin to like her. She can be very nice, helpful, normal even when she wants to be. But in the back of my mind, I always had that fight replaying in my head and never totally trusted her. Actually if I'm honest with myself, the only reason I held my tongue for as long as I have was because I needed her to watch Bailey for a year.

Now that year is over, I don't have to fork out mountains of cash to her, and I don't actually give a fuck what she thinks of me, because it. is. ON!

To be fair, I think I had some pent up resentment from all the cash I did pay her for watching her own nephew and the fact that once the money stopped she didn't offer to help in the slightest. This, and the summer season starting, some people go on stabbing sprees, I just speak my mind. Meh, we're all getting a bit on edge in the heat I think.

So, here's how this fight started...

This month, Monsters University came out, if you don't have kids it will be totally irrelavant, but Ash has been dying to see it ever since the trailers came out ridiculously early in the year. So I promised him I'd set aside a day for him in July and we would have a date to go watch it. I've never taken Ash to the movies and recently I haven't had much?any? one on one time with him, it's always all of us or just me and both boys. I was actually really looking forward to it, the 24th was decided and I made sure not to schedule any lessons on that day.
Now among all my planning, I had heard through the grapevine that dog-fucker had also said she'd take Ash to see the movie. I say grapevine, I mean when I said "Let's go watch it together!" He replied with "Ehh Ako too??" (he calls dog fucker Ako) So I knew then that she'd probably said she'd take him. Which is nice and all, I appreciate it but I knew then and there that it wasn't happening, this was my plan. I should point out she's taken him to the movies on at least 4 separate occasions because you know, she has no job or purpose in life.

So Sunday night I went to Grandma's house and dog fucker said: (In a kind of short tone while watching TV) "Corinne, Ashton will have the day off on Wednesday." ...

Not 'Can he have the day off?' But 'he WILL have the day off.' Fucking bitch , that there was enough to piss me off, and I knew in my head that a shit storm was on the way but I asked her why and she said "I'm taking him to the movies." I then said (still in a nice way) "Hmmm I was actually going to take him on the 24th..."
And the whore fucking ignored me!!

So I stormed home and immediately started bitching to Ryota about how his sister was such a fucking bitch and he told me not to bitch to him, to either speak my mind or shut the hell up. And fair play to him for that.

So the mail war started, writing it is way too annoying so I'll post the mails with rough translations...

 
First one (me): Don't worry about taking him on Wednesday, it'll cost you money anyway. I can take him on the 24th.
 
Second one (her): I already bought the tickets for the 10th so I'm taking him. Why don't you take him somewhere different on the 24th?
 
Third one (me): Ahh you already bought them... Could you let me know before you decide anything next time because I promised him I'd take him.
 
 
I should point out here that her texts are all fucking short and condescending tones as well the little whore. I'm her fucking onesan too!!!! OK, then...
 

First one (her): I told you ages ago, maybe you've forgotten?
 
Second one (me): (I was PISSED now!) Actually I told you too. I said "Let's go together" maybe you've forgotten? I'm always busy with work and hardly get the chance to be with Ash just the 2 of us so that's why I wanted to take him but I should have made that clear earlier so it's my fault.
 
Third one (her): I think you'll have lots of time to be with just Ash now seeing as though you've put Bailey in kindy.
 
Fine then! You take him! I can sell my fucking tickets!
 
 
It was at that point that I didn't want to keep it going anymore, she was dead to me. I realised as someone who dropped out of high school and has never had any social interactions what so ever, I should just treat her as socially disabled and forget about her. But fuck me, how dare she judge me putting Bailey in kindy?! How dare she SAY anything about the subject let alone judge me. She's never known what it's like to be busy so I guess it's impossible for her to understand. Anyway, it's been all icy looks and ignoring since than and I'm just itching for her to have another go, I have everything I want to say planned, such gems as: "The closest you've come to having a family is your dog, go get another one to fuck with" and "You're a leech on society, fuck off!"
 
 
Am I overreacting due to crazy summer season?? Would you be pissed?? Or am I just looking for a reason to fight because I just don't like her??


42 comments:

  1. I'd be as pissed as too. It is hard enough to make sure you spend time with each kid when there is more than 1 but when you are working as well it is even harder.

    Sadly she is completely clueless & selfish and quite frankly needs to get a life.

    Closer to the 24th ask Ash what he wants to do with Mum. As long as you have the day together he will be happy - don't let little Miss Head Up Her Arse spoil Mum & Ash day.

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    1. What she said. And a hug. :-)

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    2. Clueless, selfish and needs to get a life- Man that sums her up SO well!
      I made sure he didn't go with her on the 10th, I assume she just lost the money on the tickets so we're definitely on for the movies, lunch and general bonding time on the 24th! :D

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  2. I don't even know her and just reading your texts back and forth made me pissed off! She's not worth the anger though. Just enjoy your MommyxSon time.

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    1. I know, she's really not worth it you're right, which is why I stopped there and just decided to cut her off. I kinda hope she starts a face to face fight though, just so I can tell her what an idiot she is.

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  3. Making plans to do stuff with your kid without telling you is just wrong.

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    1. Exactly!! Forget everything else, that inself is wrong right?!

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  4. on the one hand, it's nice to have someone who wants to spend time with your kid, loves him and can do stuff with him.

    on the other hand, don't no one come between mama and baby. fuck that bitch, she can change her plans. and even if you are busy or whatever, she needs to *check* with you whenever she wants to do something with your kid. NOT OK. boundaries, she needs them.

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    1. Yup, I like that she loves him enough to want to take him places, but seriously right?! The more I read over her texts the angrier I get!!

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  5. I've been reading your blog forever and never commented.

    She is socially retarded for sure. It's nice that she obviously loves your son and wants to spend time with him but if it were me, I'd make it clear that she needs to tell me and ask my permission before she pulls him out of school for a day (!) I was like that when I was twenty, I just did whatever I wanted until someone pointed out that I shouldn't. She's probably lashing out because she knows how out of touch she is with the world and it embarrasses her on some level.

    Also, the way she speaks to you is totally rude and I'd be angry too. I'd have a talk with her about both of you speaking respectfully to each other even when angry, not because you don't have a right to be angry but just so you can try to help teach her how normal people function.

    I'd ignore the kindy comments even if it did have some double meaning, I respect both stay-at-home moms and working moms. I worked in one for a long time and putting your son in one means you care about his future and have a job to make his life financially stable. She's totally clueless about the whole thing, so don't worry.

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    1. That's the thing, she's 28, way too old to not know the basics right?!

      Socially retarded is very appropriate, she did drop out of high school so I'm guessing that's where she stopped growing socially. Thanks for the comment! :D

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    2. I'd be a bit worried she won't ever pick them up and you and your husband would end up supporting her in her old age because she won't be able to function in society!

      Ah, family...

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  6. Children's needs first, parents second (wife before me), grandparents third, others don't rate is how it is played at Antisthenes' house.

    You're right she has no clue, so time to get explicit: any plans you make will not happen, Dogfucker, unless you make them with me first, and I and husband have veto powers without requiring an explanation to your deficient brain, and should you try to play anyone off against another in this family, much less the children, the kids won't ever see you again often enough to remember your name isn't 'Dogfucker'.

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    1. haha I hope she starts a discussion on it, I'll totally just show her this comment and tell her to goodle translate it! :D
      I thought about cutting the kids off from her but that would upset them, although I don'T want them learning social behaviour from her, God no!

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  7. Sigh, she's utterly clueless, isn't she. You're right, she shouldn't make plans with your kid without talking to you first, even if she did forget that you'd said you were taking him. The more I think about it, the more irritated I get. I would have taken him to kindy on the day, left instructions that his aunt shouldn't collect him, let her know that he's in kindy and will stay there all day, regardless of tickets. But that would probably be more upsetting to Ash, and he hasn't done anything wrong.

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  8. I did exactly that!! He went to kindy as normal and I'm guessing she wouldn't have been able to sell the tickets at such short notice so too bad for her!
    Ash doesn't really get time concepts yet so as long as we go at Some point I really don't think he'll mind!

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  9. I woulda went straight to her and said

    "How much were the tickets?...whatever here's 5,000 yen on the table use the extra and go buy a book or whatever....sooooo where's the tickets? I gotta run so...hand em' over"

    If you're gonna have a pissing contest piss directly in her mouth immediately. Put her on the spot and get your way. If the tickets being bought already are her stance then kick her chair over immediately and make her say she's fucking with you.
    You let her get under your own skin.

    Folks say I'm an inflexible one way motherfucker....I think they think that's an insult? It's not. That means I get my fucking way.

    Fuck her and use your brain to defeat her clearly smaller brain. Like shooting fish in a barrel Corrine. You just gotta start pulling the trigger.

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    1. You know I was going to, but fuck her, she couldn't sell the tickets and he certainly wasn't going with her so she lost out on the tickets, just like she's always going to lose out in life if she keeps treating people with 0 respect.

      She thinks she's tough but really I think she's just very very insecure. It's sad really.

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    2. "She thinks she's tough but really I think she's just very very insecure. It's sad really."

      It occurs to me you could be talking about yourself ...

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    3. It occurs to me that you're a dick who's talking out your arse! You don't know me just from reading my blog, you do know that right...?

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    4. Sorry to say but you do come across as a bit selfish and childish in the "fight".

      But as you said to the previous poster, I don't know you at all. That was my honest opinion though....

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    5. Thanks for the honest feedback :) Opinions I don't mind, some dick trying to profile me, when they don't know me from a bar of soap, not so much!
      Really?? You wouldn't be at all pissed if it was you?? I'm interested to know why not. Maybe I need to chill the fuck out :D

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  10. Wow, you sound like a delight. Complaining in one breath that she offers to do nothing with her nephews and then in the next throwing a tantrum because she is taking them to a movie you wanted to take them to. Maybe taking them to one of the other million kids' movies rather than looking for an excuse for a fight would have been the adult response.

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  11. To above Anonymous, you are a cunt and you know it.

    Kansai-ben で面白い。

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    1. haha Anon 2, thanks! >_< However everyone is entitled to their opinion!

      Anon 1- I can see where you're coming from, I can't pick and choose what help I want right? But taking my kids to the movies really doesn't help me at all, it's nice for them and I don't want them to miss out but if she can't respect me by asking me if we had other plans etc. then I really don't think my response was unfair. I could have taken him to another place/movie, sure, but it was more the principle of the matter and the fact that she treated me with total disrespect. Thanks for the comment though!

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  12. It's all well and good that she wanted to take him out to a movie and spend time with him, but parents always get the last say, wtf? Who the shit cares if she had already bought the tickets, or had spent two weeks telling Ash they were going, or WHAT THE FUCK EVER. Yeah, that'd be a huge disappointment to him, but that's why you ask a kid's parents before you start making plans OR EVEN THINK ABOUT telling the kid you're taking them somewhere! And YOU are the one who adapts if anything comes up, because hello that is not YOUR child. Christ.

    Anyway, I'm in no place to judge her, but I will anyway. It really sounds like she missed not only some serious socialisation from high school and college, but I'd also put forward that anyone who has never really been away from their parents seems to act like this? You know, severely lacking in common sense bullshit that you learn if you spend more than five minutes out in the world dealing with roommates and partners and actual real life conflict.


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    1. Well, he's 4, so he kinda forgets things easily so I'm hoping it hasn't crushed him too much! :D
      Honestly, if she'd gone about it a different way, I wouldn't have stuck to my guns so much. Judge away, it's one of my favourite things to do! :D

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  13. Ugh, you do better than I do! When I get pissed, I suddenly lose all capacity to speak Japanese (and really.. decent English) and descend into blubbering and hand waving and swearing. She certainly is in good company being socially retarded... I feel like I run into people who think I don't get that they're being a dick to me every day in Japan.
    And being at the university I'm at here, I run into kids daily who did nothing but study while they should have been learning how to socialize.

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    1. Actually I do the same face to face, I'm always scared of making a mistake and looking like a dick so I hold back, so I was kind of glad it was a mail tiff, at least I had time to think of what I wanted to say, I also have time to plan what to say in a real face to face fight!!! :D

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  14. Ugh, you do better than I do! When I get pissed, I suddenly lose all capacity to speak Japanese (and really.. decent English) and descend into blubbering and hand waving and swearing. She certainly is in good company being socially retarded... I feel like I run into people who think I don't get that they're being a dick to me every day in Japan.
    And being at the university I'm at here, I run into kids daily who did nothing but study while they should have been learning how to socialize.

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  15. to be honest, at first when you were bitching I thought 'but you can work becuase she looked after Ash' (money aside)

    But that 'well, I guess you should take him shit!!' FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK. Ignore her. Never ask her to look after your kids. Cause I do think you can't expect her to be all Auntie like ,and want to do anything for free, and then complain if she doesn't look after your kids how you want her too. Stop asking, expecting and just remove yourself. It is so not worth it. Its a double edged sword. Living with Granny K, I know. Good luck. xxxx hope you get to have a nice date movie out with Ash.

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    1. I actually feel a bit free, i never have to ask her for anything again on pure principle, it's actually liberating. Plus I don't have to be nice anymore either! we will have a fantastic day out, I will make sure of it! :)

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  16. I was kindda bored latley and started reading your blog since the very beggining...I haven't reached the part when SIL changed to dog fucker but it is a shame that girl who you described to be a nice girl and you even made nice things for her: "My SIL is always helping me with Ash, doing my nails for free, and generally a nice person who I really appreciate so yesterday we went shopping and had ice cream, we got her a present and then had sushi and cake."

    Who would have imagine the relation would turn to the ugly side, but living 4 steps from your familly in law...man that is just like "Everybody loves Raymond" it was bound to happen.

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    1. You know, it's really sad because I miss my real sister SO much and I was happy to get a sister in Japan, but the best word to describe her (apart from dog fucker) is: moody. She can change in a second and I didn't see that for a while. Honestly, she can be a GREAT person, but the flip side of her just makes it so it's so hard to see the good in her. I think she became dog fucker after our first big fight over me taking the piss out of Kimutaku... :D

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  17. I think you've misinterpreted the Japanese or over exaggerated her response for your blog! However, I do agree she should always ask your permission before planning anything with your children

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    1. OK, I've only exaggerated a bit though! ;) But compared to how we usually mail back and forth (always friendly) I think it's a pretty fair translation. If you can provide a better one, please do! :D

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  18. Hi Corinne
    Been reading your blog for a while and it's the first time I'm commenting.
    I'm on your side. I find it highly annoying and disrespectful that DogF##ker (love the name by the way) just up and went and made her own plans without consulting you. And then forms weird impressions (for wanting of a better word) how you spend your time since Bailey is in daycare? And the last bit about selling the tickets? Couldn't she have given it to you?

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    1. Thank you!! Honestly, I maybe should have just bitten my tongue and let the whole thing go, but that last mail sealed the deal and the 'weird impressions' were what really hurt me. It made me read too deeply into it and feel like she was attacking me for working, making out like I lay around all day doing nothing while Bailey is at day care. Thanks for being on my side! And commenting!

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  19. I've been reading forever. A few things:

    1) No one gets to make plans with your kid without asking you first.
    2) Why are you mad that she expects to be paid for watching your kids?

    "To be fair, I think I had some pent up resentment from all the cash I did pay her for watching her own nephew and the fact that once the money stopped she didn't offer to help in the slightest."

    Why do you expect her to watch your kids for free? I wouldn't expect that from anyone, family or not. Childcare is work and when people work they should be paid. I agree with you on lots of things but I have never understood why you think you are entitled to free child care.

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    1. Honestly, I think I expected her to help out because that's what I would do. Actually, I'd have a job so I probably wouldn't be able to help, but if I could I would. I realise I'm not entitled to free childcare and am very willing to pay professionals to look after my kids, but in Japan, paying family is almost unheard of.

      You're right though, I shouldn't bitch about paying, it was my proposal in the first place because I didn't want to be asking her for any favours.

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    2. Don't get me wrong, she does sound like a total crazy, but IMHO it is not fair to be mad at her for not offering to help with the boys. It is not her responsibility. I recognize that there are very different cultural norms at play in Japan versus Australia and the US (where I am living). But you will save yourself a lot of grief if you don't expect her to offer to help.

      But yes, she is insane to be mad about you going to the movie with Ash instead of her. I would be hella mad if my sister in law TOLD me (instead of ASKING me) that she was taking my kid to a movie, and I would shut that bullshit down immediately.

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  20. I read her texts in Japanese. As you have said, you didn't do a literal translation but it did capture the tone of her reply. I felt she was rather abrupt and not particularly polite and made no effort to see your point of view at all. Would have got my back up big time. I thought your responses were more respectful. You are the mum. She has to respect that or spend less time with your kids. Her choice.

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