We've had the rules of rice, welcome to the world of futons...
Before I came to Japan, a futon was a sofa type thingy that I crashed on when I got too pissed at a random person's party, when I got to Japan, a futon was a crappy, thin little mat that I had to sleep on and never cleaned so ended up with a mouldy sleeping space, but now, I have a comfy, cushiony futon that I looooooove to flop on to at the end of the day. I thought I had the futon rules down too, wash the sheets once a week, air the bastards out every so often, and you're sweet! But yesterday I was taught a lesson in the futon wars.
We had to leave the house at 11am as we had to go to FIL's place so I could sit on my knees for an hour while a monk chanted at Ryota's dead grandma's ashes. I really don't see why I have to sit through this shite, I never even met Grandma and I'm told she wasn't too keen on the foreign gals anyway and probably would have spit on me or something! (Not quite that bad really). Anyway, every so often we have to go and do the religious ceremony bullshit. So we woke up at about 10, leaving us not much time to get fed, ready and out the door. Now the weather in Japan has been sooooo crappy lately, lots of rainy or cloudy or cold days so I thought I'd wash and leave the sheets out to dry and air out the futons while we were there as it was really sunny for a change. I knew we were probably going to be home either as it was getting dark, or after dinner, but you know, it's a funeral type thing, it's not like I was going to be out raving until 4am or anything! (I wish!)
As it turned out, we got home at about 9pm, but it wasn't that cold and it wasn't raining or anything, but as I came down our little dirt path, it became apparent that I had been the talk of the Obachans since sun down... Obaachan met me before I got in the door and since I had been swilling beer since about 12:30 I gave her a cheery "konbanwa!" only to be met with this:
YOU'RE GOING TO CATCH A COLD AND DIE FROM CHILLY FUTON SYNDROME!!!! DIE!!! DIE I TELL YOU!!!
She was seriously almost hysterical. I thought it must have rained and I hadn't noticed through my beery haze but she said it hadn't but it had nothing to do with it, futons are not to be aired out when there is no sun. BIIIIIIIIIIIG no no. I actually started giggling and assured her I would go straight upstairs and put them inside, as I was closing the door she also told me that all the Obachans had been calling my name when it got dark in case I had forgotten and the crazy cat lover next door had actually gone to Obaachans house to inform her of my futon fuck up. Now I know I'm from the land of clear skies and little pollution, but really, we are not going to die from sleeping on a futon that has been hit with moon beams, right...? Right?! Come on people, I'm freaking out that we all may drop down dead at some point today!
Omg, how stupid. They got nothing else to worry about besides how long a futon has been hanging up? They seriously need to get out more.ReplyDelete
you're so funny!ReplyDelete
I actually almost pissed myself laughing.ReplyDelete
Especially the "chilly futon syndrome" bit... I can just imagine your going to be the talk of the inaka for the next few days, and the fact they went looking for you is just hilarious.
Like... do they really think that your going to forget your bed? Just go to sleep on the Tatami and not realize your missing about half a foot of padding?
I really hope you dont die though :( you have to stay alive just to prove to the Ba-chan that she was wrong :D
You are soooo funny. I'm glad I sleep in a bed cause I know I'd be leaving my futon out in the rain if I could be bothered to remember to air it now and again that is!ReplyDelete