I can safely say I've been a HUGE porker this winter, as in eating copious amounts of great stuff, drinking loads of alcohol and not balancing it with any exercise. Was fun, but I knew I was in trouble when I put my jeans on thinking I had washed them because they were all tight and pinching my love handles but I hadn't, my gut had just expanded!
I feel gross and am too scared to hop on the scales to see the damage. Talking about it last night with Ryochan, I told him about Fi's system she had going with her hubby, who would buy her anything she wanted if she got to 60kgs. Now Ryota is cluey in this department, he knows if he says I should do that too that I'm likely to poke him in the eye with a chopstick and start signing divorce papers for being an insensitive twat so he's always careful to start any sentence with "You look great the way you are!" Clever lad. But he was being WAY too nice last night so finally I just said, "OK cut the sensitive new age bullshit, get some balls and tell me I'm a whale so I have some motivation to actually lose weight you big pussy!" (I said it in a much nicer Japanese way of course)
So he said he thought 60kgs was too low, he wouldn't have married a whitey if he didn't like something to grab on to, so he said if I got in the 60's, as in 69.9kgs is OK, he would buy me something, but that wasn't enough for me, I needed something concrete, that I could concentrate on, if it was just 'anything I wanted' I wouldn't be able to imagine having it. Soooo here was my list of things I started fantasising about...
~ A big fat diamond ring
~ A new wardrobe
~A new computer
But as I started listing these things, I thought, hmmm I can have a big sparkly diamond on my finger, but for the money it cost I could be soaking up sun and having massages on a beach while smoking a joint for that money. So I scrapped my list and told him that if i got to the 60s I wanted us all to go on a holiday. Sensible right!?
[Just so you know, TMI alert coming up here, click away if you don't want to imagine me naked, and if you do keep reading... Shame on you, you big perv! ]
But then Ryota got to thinking about boobs. (As men tend to always do...) It could be because earlier in the night while I was having a shower I realised I have nooooo tits at all compared to what I used to, it's like breastfeeding pumped those babies up like big, juicy, 'pam pam' water balloons and now they're all deflated and sad lookin. I started whining about it as I came out of the bathroom and while I was whining started on about my blubby tummy as well. Ryota did the obligatory pussy comment and then followed it with "It's cute! You look like my favourite meal, fried eggs on rice!"
FUCK RIGHT OFF, I DON'T WANT TO BE FRIED EGGS ON RICE!!!!
But good on him, it was very good motivation to get my white, flabby, rice tummy into some sort of shape. I immediately went and did about 20 seconds on the rodeo boy.
Anyway, back to my 60kgs prize, we figured if I did lose weight, my tits would shrink even more and I would have that horrid loose skin on my tummy, so my prize is a plastic surgery holiday! Birds, stones, right.. Right! Who knows if I could ever actually do it, but I think the chances of me getting to 60kgs anytime soon are quite slim.. haha slim, get it.
OK, off to rodeo boy and eat some dust for dinner.
Had to stifle my giggles growing into belly (pun not intended ;P) laugh as bub is sleeping..ReplyDelete
OMG fried eggs on rice! I laughed ... sorry :(ReplyDelete
However If you DO ever get down to the 60s you could always have him buy you a new pair of boobs :D This post made me laugh, because even though hubby has set this magic goal for me with a lovely present at the end, Im still sitting here on the sofa drinking beer!
LMAO. Hilarious comment from Ryota.ReplyDelete
You might be surprised and find that even if you lose weight, your boobs stay the same, I know that mine did (although I went down a band size, my cup size stayed the same) which made me happy. I wouldn't mind a bit of a boob lift though as I swear they get nearer to my ankles as the days go by. (Although apparently this isn't a big problem in boy-land..)
As for the 60kgs thing, I don't know how tall you are but you might find that getting that low might not actually be good for you! ;-)My personal target would be to get back to my post-pregnancy weight (I was very sick when pregnant and weighed 18kgs less the day that Joey was born than I did when I first found out I was pregnant!) but that is still 80kgs. I am nearly 6ft tall though so that is my excuse! LOL!
BTW- that is meant to read that my goal would be 80kgs, not that my goal is 80kgs away... :-)ReplyDelete
Haha, I love reading your posts, always so funny.ReplyDelete
Small boobs are the best! Rock those fried eggs girl, make it genmai and you'll be set! ;-)
Oh my dream is to reach the 60s too! Ideally 68kg would be awesome! I am 4kg away! But I figure to maintain it I would need to get to 65 or 66 so that I had a bit of leeway (and tim-tam room!)ReplyDelete
Fried eggs on rice! Firstly, that is his favourite meal? wow! You are lucky! Second, I spat my coffee (which at 10pm i shouldn`t be drinking) on my mac i laughed so hard.
A family holiday would be nice!
omg.i love your posts and u'r husband's comment was hilarious. i too am struggling with holiday weight gain...i wanna get down to 50 kilos(don't fret! i'm 5'4 inches so that's fine)...i used to weight 50 kgs 2 summer's ago...now, i'm just a big pile of lard and yes, my jeans don't fit either..i bought myself 2 pairs of black leggings...leggings are the future!!!!!!!ReplyDelete