Thursday 11 March 2010

Gaijin janken...

I'm not fucking with you here either. A group of Japanese ladies actually did janken to see which of them would have to deal with the foreign girl yesterday.

Perhaps I should explain, yesterday, little Ashton boy was enrolled in kindy and my mother-in-law can blow me, because I've decided he's going whether she and her chorus of kawaisous like it or not. To spare us the pain and guilt the in-laws would have put on us, Ryota and I have enrolled him on the sly, and only yesterday told them about it. I didn't have 100% confidence in the speaky of the Japanee for the orientation thing, and of course the in-laws all snubbed me in the help department because they think I'm going to psychologically damage my son for life for sending him.

So, I toddled off with the little lad to the kindy with all my paperwork and information, rang the bell and was ushered inside with all the other terrible mothers about to subject their children to the abuse of kindy involving sand pits and Disney aprons. When I walked in there was the usual choruses of "kaaaaawwwwwaaaaiiiiii, yappari shiroiro neeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!" (Oh he's so cute and of course he's so damn white!!) in Ash's direction which he lapped up as usual the little attention whore. And then out of the big group of ladies wearing the pink smocks and name badges, they pushed one of the older ladies forward and she cleared her throat and...


Me: (I didn't realise it but obviously in Osaka-ben) Err, yup I don't get everything but I'm pretty much fine and can understand, thanks.

Sensei: Oh thank fuck for that I thought we were going to have to do sign language with you love, and you speak the Osaka-ben and all!!!

Me: Well, as I said, not perfect but I generally get the jist, so just go slow with me lady and we'll be fine. Yoroshiku blah blah...

Sensei: Don't worry, you'll be fine with your language, you're sooooo much better than we thought, we spent the whole morning deciding who would have to talk to you after seeing your file had a half-whitie red flag on it and ended up doing janken and I lost! HA! Er.... I mean, I'm glad I lost... ahh... ahem, come sit on this tiny midget chair love!

They were actually very nice, so I shouldn't bitch too much, but did they really think I'd go alone if I couldn't understand? I'm sure there are going to be many funny stories coming from kindy, I can just feel it. Anyway, it went well and I understood all the explanation although it was a bit overwhelming with all the info about shit Ash has to take with his name plastered all over EVERY SINGLE FUCKING item, it was like "You will be shot if his name isn't on his shirt, you understand that don't you." But should be good, he had a blast stealing every one's toys and running around, I'm just hoping kids start smacking him around a bit so he learns he can't just take shit that's not his!

In other news.... Ohh, I'm terribly late but last week's night out on the piss with the girls was fan-fucking-tastically awesome. Sassy and I got lost which was funny- two blond girls looking professional with iPhones but actually having nooooo idea where they were when they were actually about 100 metres away from the hotel, having about 15 years Japan experience between us you'd think we could have found it, but no. The drinking and the leaving of child at home was amazing, I can't wait till it's someones birthday and we can do it again.

I feel like crap, I've had this intense back pain since last night and I have a sneaking suspicion it's the achy feeling you get before a really fuck off bad cold, my nose has gone and I'm all lazy, which apart from the leaky nose isn't all that unusual. Ash has some major tooth action going on, he just looked at me last night in sheer terror as he shoved his whole fist in his mouth, poor little petal's face looked like there was some small animal gnawing through his gums, of course the in-laws still maintain his gums are just itchy and that he's crying for some other reason (probably the trauma of an hour at kindy!) We were supposed to go have coffee with Sassy today but I just felt like shite and Ash isn't too hot either.

Better get healthy, I'll need the strength for all the labelling of clothes/futons/band aids/nappies that will be going on this weekend!


  1. I once had an interaction with Japanese kindergarten teachers and I was just amazed on how similar they were to the ones back home in Sweden. The queen mother even was overweight and had short carrot colored hair (mind you, this was over 10 years ago), just like the ones in Sweden. They must all come from the same master mold and have race added last.

  2. Oh gawd! I used to work at a Japanese kindy! Japanese kindy teachers are even more immature than "normal" Japanese women! Where I worked they would do janken about 5 times a day! Katie

  3. Sounds like Ash is going to like kindy! What will you be doing with all your baby free time? Is he going to go 40 hours a week or just part time?

    I roll my eyes about pretty much everything that goes on to do with childcare and people who take care of kids here so I'm not surprised about the junken. But whatever ~ someday our kid's kids japan may be diverese to the point where "Gaijin may actually know japanese" but i'm not holding my breathe... and if i'm in japan when i have grandkids please just kill me and get me out of my misery cor.

    anyways pleased to hear you had a great night with the girls. hopefully many more as all the collective kiddies get older :)

  4. It sounds like Ash was a kindy natural though! Sure he will have fun playing with his new friends everyday!

    SO does he start at the beginning of April?

    The "Kotoba daijyoubu?" cracked me up- i have no idea why the sight of a non Japanese face always scares everyone....they should get over it.

    Hope the naming of all ash`s belongings go well! haha!

  5. Oh this post really had me rolling on the floor in hysterics... or in truth at least rolling my eyes at Janken antics. Classic Kindy!

  6. Kindy - the godsend to sanity. I labeled all the kids stuff at the start - and now??? Hardly at all but only ten kids in their class. I tend to name the Japanese stuff but the stuff that begs 'New Zealand cute kids shop' I tend not to. I have lost one really cool jacket - the teachers swear it must be at home but I wasn't even pregnant hormonal with next chiled when it happened so I KNOW it was left there.

    I also know I didn't name it so can't really fight it.

    Good luck. Ash will love kindy - and so will you. The time you get from it at least.