I'm not fucking with you here either. A group of Japanese ladies actually did janken to see which of them would have to deal with the foreign girl yesterday.
Perhaps I should explain, yesterday, little Ashton boy was enrolled in kindy and my mother-in-law can blow me, because I've decided he's going whether she and her chorus of kawaisous like it or not. To spare us the pain and guilt the in-laws would have put on us, Ryota and I have enrolled him on the sly, and only yesterday told them about it. I didn't have 100% confidence in the speaky of the Japanee for the orientation thing, and of course the in-laws all snubbed me in the help department because they think I'm going to psychologically damage my son for life for sending him.
So, I toddled off with the little lad to the kindy with all my paperwork and information, rang the bell and was ushered inside with all the other terrible mothers about to subject their children to the abuse of kindy involving sand pits and Disney aprons. When I walked in there was the usual choruses of "kaaaaawwwwwaaaaiiiiii, yappari shiroiro neeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!" (Oh he's so cute and of course he's so damn white!!) in Ash's direction which he lapped up as usual the little attention whore. And then out of the big group of ladies wearing the pink smocks and name badges, they pushed one of the older ladies forward and she cleared her throat and...
Scared kindy teacher: KOOTOOOOBAAAAA WAAAA DAIIIIIJYOOOOOBUUUUUU???? (Literally- "ARE WORDS OK?")
Me: (I didn't realise it but obviously in Osaka-ben) Err, yup I don't get everything but I'm pretty much fine and can understand, thanks.
Sensei: Oh thank fuck for that I thought we were going to have to do sign language with you love, and you speak the Osaka-ben and all!!!
Me: Well, as I said, not perfect but I generally get the jist, so just go slow with me lady and we'll be fine. Yoroshiku blah blah...
Sensei: Don't worry, you'll be fine with your language, you're sooooo much better than we thought, we spent the whole morning deciding who would have to talk to you after seeing your file had a half-whitie red flag on it and ended up doing janken and I lost! HA! Er.... I mean, I'm glad I lost... ahh... ahem, come sit on this tiny midget chair love!
They were actually very nice, so I shouldn't bitch too much, but did they really think I'd go alone if I couldn't understand? I'm sure there are going to be many funny stories coming from kindy, I can just feel it. Anyway, it went well and I understood all the explanation although it was a bit overwhelming with all the info about shit Ash has to take with his name plastered all over EVERY SINGLE FUCKING item, it was like "You will be shot if his name isn't on his shirt, you understand that don't you." But should be good, he had a blast stealing every one's toys and running around, I'm just hoping kids start smacking him around a bit so he learns he can't just take shit that's not his!
In other news.... Ohh, I'm terribly late but last week's night out on the piss with the girls was fan-fucking-tastically awesome. Sassy and I got lost which was funny- two blond girls looking professional with iPhones but actually having nooooo idea where they were when they were actually about 100 metres away from the hotel, having about 15 years Japan experience between us you'd think we could have found it, but no. The drinking and the leaving of child at home was amazing, I can't wait till it's someones birthday and we can do it again.
I feel like crap, I've had this intense back pain since last night and I have a sneaking suspicion it's the achy feeling you get before a really fuck off bad cold, my nose has gone and I'm all lazy, which apart from the leaky nose isn't all that unusual. Ash has some major tooth action going on, he just looked at me last night in sheer terror as he shoved his whole fist in his mouth, poor little petal's face looked like there was some small animal gnawing through his gums, of course the in-laws still maintain his gums are just itchy and that he's crying for some other reason (probably the trauma of an hour at kindy!) We were supposed to go have coffee with Sassy today but I just felt like shite and Ash isn't too hot either.
Better get healthy, I'll need the strength for all the labelling of clothes/futons/band aids/nappies that will be going on this weekend!