Look at this, post everyday! I'd like to say it's a part of my April new year plan, but it's not, just a freak thing and the fact I have more time with Ash at kindy...
So, on to today's ranty jumbled mess of words. I say April is the month that gaijin fall in love with Japan again, but I think I'm becoming immune to it's powers.. Perhaps I know that after spring, comes the gruelling, sweaty furnace known as Osaka summer, or that those beautiful cherry blossoms only last a week, and then they become a mess of dirty pink petals for the Obachans to sweep up. Or maybe it's just that the weather this year seems much colder for April so I still feel like it's winter...
Whatever it is, I'm feeling distinctly anti-living-in-Japan at the moment. Wait, maybe it's living with the in-laws! If I really think about it, all rants in this post (there's only 2, don't worry) relate to them!
First thing that's pissed me off- The dentist.
I fucking hate the dentist in any country, but more so in Japan, where they drill your teeth for like 10 minutes and then set up about 28 other appointments for you. I'd rather it just be all over and done with in one go like the Aussie dentists. And I'll admit, I do get a few twangs of pain here and there in my teeth, but nothing serious or that I've felt the need to drag my arse to the dentist. I may have mentioned this to MIL on literally one occasion (my first mistake). So yesterday I was more than a little pissed when Ryota informed me I was going to the dentist next week. Ummm, rewind there buddy, since when?? He then cheerily went on to say that MIL had taken the liberty of making an appointment for me that I wasn't to miss. Err is she going to wipe my arse for me too that day?? My face then began to resemble a tomato as I said if I wanted/needed to go to the cunting dentist (my words exactly, although a little lost on poor Ryo-chan who wasn't expecting the sudden outburst)that I would make an appointment, and go myself.
It's not a huge deal, and I know her intentions were good, but fuck me it pisses me off. If I want or need help I'll be asking for it, if not, Fuck off!
Next thing, I felt a little homesick yesterday, it was Easter and I don't know why, my family have never done anything special at Easter, maybe a dinner together or something, but nothing in particular so not sure why I was being such a pussy baby, but I just felt some kind of.... lack of family maybe?? Of course Ryo-chan gave me a big hug and said that I could go home any time I wanted for a holiday no matter what the cost blah blah blah, but he doesn't quite get that I don't really want to go back, I just miss certain things.
Anyway, then today, still felt a little of the homesick pangs and was also thinking how I'm going to miss the cherry blossoms if I don't see some soon, then, as I came back from the supermarket run, I see all the in-laws leaving the house. I asked Alien SIL where they were off to and she gave me a sullen "Going to see cherry blossoms" in her usual fucking sulky alien way.
Now this is what I don't get, they stick their fucking noses in when I don't need fucking dentists appointments, but blatantly don't invite me places with them when it's something I actually want to be included in...
I'm actually being a big baby, but still. There are times when I just wish I could grab one of my girlfriends, or my mum or sister, and go shopping in a place where my massive gaijin feet fit into the shoes and I can browse clothes that I actually like rather than some cutesy, gypsy Japanese style clothes that are usually too short for me if they fit at all because of my massive gaijin height proportions... Perhaps it's time to think of a new path that doesn't involve the land of the rising sun...? I always said if I ever hated Japan that much that I couldn't stop bitching about it I would leave sooner rather than later... I don't think I'm quite at that point yet but last night I made a bargain with myself: If Ryota's new job doesn't work out (although I really hope it does for his sake!) then we're out, it's the gods or buddha or something telling me that Japan and I are done with each other for the time being.
Hang in there! On the bright side of things, at least we're getting close to the few months of Japan that actually have comfortable temperatures suited for humans to live in!ReplyDelete
I think we all feel like this from time to time. It's weird but I didn't really get homesick until I became a mother and from this new perspective I began to miss my family. I get tetchy about stuff that I wouldn't have given a shit about when I was living the single life too. Hang in there.ReplyDelete
Sorry things have been rough. Your post just described exactly how I feel nearly every time there's a holiday, even if it's something like Presidents Day that doesn't even involve a celebration! :-)ReplyDelete
Hang in there - things will get better. Best wishes for Ryota's new job! (my husband's name is Ryota, too...)
I'll send you some "feeling the love" beams soon.
I'm planning to come to Kansai sometime this spring - which I need to talk to you and Sassy about!!
Lots and lots to catch up and talk about!!!! Enjoy the sakura while they last!!! <3
Hey!! Not like you to have such a long no-blog :( Hope you are feeling a bit less home-sick now and everything is OK and that perhaps you just spilt vino all over keyboard and therefore have no computer...ReplyDelete