Monday, 25 April 2011

Drowning

OK, I know, the "We'll discuss Japanese men giving their mummies a good rogering tomorrow" has turned in to, "We'll discuss Japanese men giving their mummies a good rogering a few days later" but fuck me I've been drowning in shit like this...





and this...




and not to forget the brownies, biccies and easter cake I stayed up till 3am baking...



All my own doing and not only did we have a great day at the school but we raised over 20,000 yen for the earthquake fund which is awesome, I've decided to leave the donation box for a bit longer in case any other students want to donate money, let's face it, if they can afford English lessons they can afford to fork out a bit of cash for the poor buggers up north.

Right, on to more mother fucking issues. Quite literally.

I'll rewind to the conversation Ryota and I had last week which started off about BIL and his absolute waste of space-ness. The whole family was stunned and mortified when I could read a kanji (Chinese character) that he couldn't. To be fair to him the character was that for German measles and I'm bound to be more in the know about kids illnesses than him, but still, most Japanese people should be able to read it  (風疹). Grandma even made a point of saying "Holy fuck this kid is dumb, even Corinne knew what it was!" I don't think she was intending to have a go at me, and my kanji reading is pretty shit but still, got a few of my brash gaijin feathers ruffled for a bit over it. BIL is incredibly dumb though, there's just no way of getting around it. I feel a bit sorry for him, he missed 2 years of primary school due to having Leukemia so the kanji cramming years were spent fighting for his life and stuff. But still, he's a dopey bastard in so many ways, childhood illness really just doesn't cover them all. Plus dog-fucker is a dopey cunt too so it's in the DNA. Of course Ryota and my son are immune to the dopey gene... HA! wishful thinking!

Anyway, we got on to the fact that if BIL has to wake up for something, (which isn't often, being unemployed and all) he writes a note, leaves it on the kitchen table, and then his mum or Grandma have to go upstairs and wake him up.

Ummmmm what the fuck, is he 2?? No, he's twenty-fucking-three.

When I was 23, not only did I have the amazing ability to wake up for my full-time job but I also did shit like go drinking the night before and then take 3 shots of vodka straight from a conbini bottle as I walked in to work to keep me drunk until my lunch break! OK, that was pretty stupid, but fuck me, I faced the consequences and I certainly didn't need anyone to wake me up. I was ranting away in English about it actually being MIL's fault and Japan's coddling of boys, which is always dangerous because MIL senses my tone and catches her name every so often, but I wasn't really that angry, just kind of disgusted. I then came to the conclusion that BIL really needs to get out of the house and in to the real world but then Ryota came up with this little gem: "Well, if he marries a Japanese girl, it will be the same, she'll wake him up, that's what Japanese wives do.." Implying that if he sleeps in I will say "You stupid fucker, you slept in!" And that the fact that I am in no way responsible for Ryota waking up is some shocking cultural difference he has to put up with!

I came back with the first thing I could think of: "Soooo you're saying that Japanese men pretty much just marry a version of their mother... The only difference is that they can fuck?"


His response? "Pretty much..."

So there, straight from the horse-who-wants-to-fuck-his-mother's mouth!

He's said this to me before, that Japanese wives boss their husbands about much more than foreign women do. He says that Japanese men married to foreign wives get screwed two ways because foreign women don't organise their husband's lives for them but they also do whatever the fuck they want. And that pretty does sum it up for us, there is no way I am telling my husband when and where he should take a piss but I'll decide to go drinking and tell him he's the babysitter for the night. Still, he should be happy he still has his own balls and if I died he could actually survive by himself. Of course even Ryota has it easy I think, he'd be living on cup ramen and be totally lost if I wasn't here, of course he doesn't realise this yet, and won't unless I actually kick the bucket before him and all his female family members aren't around to save his sorry arse. I was astounded at how easily he admitted to wanting a mummy for a wife though. Maybe it's not just J-men, all men??

On a totally unrelated but very juicy blog topic, dog-fucker has her panties in a twist at me and it got quite heated at one point tonight.
Basically, the charity party had me running around cooking and making cute Easter type shite all weekend with no help from any other fucker (although a lovely offer from Sassymoo, thank you!!!) plus full day of lessons and looking after Ash on Saturday (Ryota had over time and MIL was working as an election bitch in the car, you know the ladies you want to hurl a rock at as they wave and deafen you with the mic from the election cars!?) and MIL called me and said the dog-fucker would be happy if I asked her to help me. But you know what, I'd rather cook fucking bunny cupcakes until 3am by myself than spend time with dog-fucker and feel like I owe her something so I didn't call her and then she went on a rant to MIL that I don't treat her like a sister because I never ask her for help. God she's a fucking mental case.

Anyway, I heard the rant and just pretended like nothing was wrong but she got pissed off and retreated upstairs. Then the next day, a few friends stayed for a bit after the Easter party and Ryota called me to come get Ash because he had to go get motorbike parts and dog-fucker wouldn't look after Ash. Fucking whore, oh wait, can't call a virgin a whore... Fucking mangy bitch.

I'm off to their house for okonomiyaki tonight, hoping her face comes in contact with the grill, would be a great improvement.

5 comments:

  1. "Maybe it's not just J-men, all men??"

    I was sleeping on a beach at 16/17 3,000 miles from home and fucking women from around the world...freedom and independance are so fucking awesome...I feel sorry for guys who don't know...they would surely get off Mammas nipple if they knew how awesome it felt. Same with licking women....if they only knew the profit for them in that ..all men would do it...they just don't know.



    "Fucking whore, oh wait, can't call a virgin a whore... Fucking mangy bitch."


    Oooh shit!!
    I started choking cuz i read this as i was drinking a zero-cola and started laughing...gagging...fizz outta nose....long time since I laughed so hard...I felt you meant every letter in every word of that sentence..LOL!

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  2. I agree, it's not just Japanese men, it's all men. Well most men. The others are gay.

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  3. Just like most Japanese women, hell all women, want to marry their fathers. Except for the lesbian ones, of course.

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  4. Your BIL sounds dreamy. I have a thing for J-loser boys. A major plus if he plays video games. If he is cute, I would consider waking him up whenever he wants with my mouth.

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  5. I can't believe BIL gets away with that! Don't they have alarm clocks up that way?! He's definitely in need of a Mummy not a wife. BTW Nice cakes.

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