I've heard before that women reach their sexual peak way later than men, like around 30 for women and 20 for men?? No? Am I just pulling those statistics out of my arse?? But whatever, I know it's definitely later for women anyway.
I knew things were getting desperate the other night when I had a graphically enjoyable sex dream. This would be great news, but you know who was my hot, steamy partner in this terribly horny dream??
Go on, guess!
Matsumoto Jun?? No. Cristiano Ronaldo?? No, I fucking wish. Won Bin?? No.
These lads would all have been welcomed in to my sex dream with open arms and wild sexual panting. But you know who floated my boat this particular night?
Steve. From Beverly Hills 90210... In the early years!
He annoys me even when he's not making wild passionate love to me! But I enjoyed it so much I felt kind of dirty when I woke up.
So you know, I figured I obviously needed to get some, if only to stop these horrible sex dreams involving bad 90's soap stars. Although, wouldn't kick Luke Perry out of bed, something about the bad boy image and husky voice... Anyway! This is the conversation that Ryota and I had after I woke up...
Me (AKA horny housewife): Morning! Oh my god I had the best sex dream last night!
Him: Really? Was I in it?
Me: Oh god no, you're never in them! (and a slight bow in apology)
Him: .............. (and a slight scowl in response to the apology bow)
Me: It was Steve from Beverly Hills 90210, so gross and random! It shows how desperate I am for a shag, think you can go the distance and actually stay awake tonight so we can get a shag in??
Him: Hmmmm 頑張る (I'll try...)
What the hell man!? If it's that much fucking effort maybe I should go find someone who is a little more ready and willing and doesn't have to try so much if it's really that hard (or not hard as the case may be!) He then tried to splutter and stammer his way out of it by saying what he meant was that he would 'ganbaru' to get to bed early, not to work up the will to get a leg over. But it was too late, damage was done and I was already ranting away and it wasn't even 8am. He then pondered over his honey on toast and said, "I know, I'll get you a vibrator for Mother's day!" To which I ranted again that I didn't want a fucking vibrator, I wanted a husband who's cock was as genki as I'd like and instantly started giggling because I actually used that phrasing and imagined a little cock with a smiley face on it...
Thank fuck our neighbours can't understand half our conversations.