Monday, 1 August 2011

DING! DING! DING!

Annnnnndddddd, we have a winner ladies and gentleman!!!

For almost as long as I’ve been blogging, I’ve always said I’m a teeny bit jealous of people with haters, it means you’ve really made it, and now, excuse me while a wipe a little tear of sheer pride away, I have one!!

Since your buddy Chrissy the "badboy" has blocked me (but can't get me off of his mind, such as it is), I thought I'd address your comment here in your charming little blog.

Corrine: You note that I am "ageing" (I am told by the google that spelling is British. I'm used to seeing "aging").

Anyway: Do you imagine that dull-witted Ocker harpies don't age?

And dearie: Now that I've seen you, I'll be looking for you for that little discussion, in which you share your deep insights on Japanese business, as you've gather from your stint at the Happy Flower English Academy or whatever the fuck it was: After all, my physical well being depends on it!

And I'm just loving your prose style! You are "sure" that someone is "obviously" something? Literary gold!

And what's this with you and ChrissyB the Batboy imagining that a sane individual would want to seek either of you out for in-person interaction? It's a safe bet that most everyone that has to deal with you IRL looks about for a way out of it
before hand.

I think getting knocked up and married was the best career move you've ever made. But the poor guy: hope your hubby has found someone to fuck who isn't ridiculous!

Be sure to stay fucking stupid!

Cheers,
Semiautodidact

It’s all I could ever have asked for in a hater and more! I think the bare essential credential is that the hater is clearly a douche, and my little trolly definitely fits that description, with the added bonus of being an obnoxious grammar Nazi who then makes grammar mistakes himself (see: Incorrect spelling of my name, “as you’ve gather from your stint at the Happy Flower English Academy,” gross overuse of colons, etc.) You might need a stint at Happy Flower English academy yourself darling!

Now there’s no need to respond to this comment and considering it's author is old enough to be my father I feel someone needs to be the adult in this relationaship, and I’m honestly just so giddy that I too have joined the ‘I have a troll!’ club that I’m clearly too excited to reply to everything, although I will say this, anyone who questions British English simply because they haven’t crawled out of their little cocoon long enough really deserves a smack over the head with an Oxford dictionary, don’t you think!?
And you know, he may be on to something about Ryota finding someone who "isn't ridiculous" to fuck, although last time I checked the level of ridiculousness didn't have much to do with a good shag, perhaps my sweet little hater has never had such an experience and that's why he's a bit off, no?




I had a fantastic weekend, complete with SIL having an argument with an Army dude, the beach and competitive running for instant marriage improvement, so will try and write it up tomorrow if I get a minute.

31 comments:

  1. Woohoo, high five! that's a cute little hater.

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  2. how funny. i love trolls, they bring such color. congratulations!!

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  3. I had blocked him and checked the trash boxes of my gmail and comment system and they have a total of 17 messages.
    He's an old loon. I saw his pic cuz he was stupid enough to host a pic in a photobucket account. Which is now totally private. He's too old for a beating but young enough to type so he's in the "ignore zone"

    If I can't beat them then I gotta ignore. Only wish his smart ass old ass was 20 years younger so he could get the beating he deserves.

    He called me "Sonny" and "Green as Gum" in his comments. I never had an argument with my granddad but I imagine it would be about like this. If my granddad was an asshole with a huge hair across his ass and was such a dick he could even talk to women like shit.

    His family must be proud. (I just checked and he has altered everything including his Facebook access) So basically he forgets to take his crazy old man meds...sends a slew of old man rants and then changes all his social media stuff cuz of his own stupidity. I already noted the relevant data. He had family on his Facebook page but their page didn't list him as family??

    Ya think his looney tunes old man ranting mighta worn them thin too?

    "And what's this with you and ChrissyB the Batboy imagining that a sane individual would want to seek either of you out for in-person interaction?"

    Considering what he typed before and after this quote his use of the word "sane" is ironic.

    My image of old men is forever updated from the old man on the porch yelling at kids to get off his lawn...to crazy old guy with a keyboard.

    And we both know his little old dick...when it still worked...never saw anything but the inside of his sweaty little hand and a tissue. Remember....when you feel down....it could be worse...you could be him.

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  4. Oh...forgot to say congrats on getting your first "troll" he's an old school loon which is rarer.

    OMODETO!!!! ;)

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  5. I had to chuckle. Has been a while since I had a hater/internet stalker! ;-) He sounds like a total saddo.

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  6. "You wanna fight?
    Seriously?

    "Anytime. August is approaching and you must have some time. Come on down and get an ass woopin. Mack12? Hey nigger!! How's that...I'm calling yo a nigger ass punk. Bring it on....nigger. If your a grother then you gotta jump now and if your a wigger with a Mack-12 handle then you would NEVER step to me....nigger.

    "Come on down..Jew...you a Jew? Whatever the fuck you are you can take it the worst way and come right into my fist ...c'mon" -- Chrissy the batboy in Japan.

    No "hatin'" goin' on there!

    As far as lawns go, Ocker harpie: I'm on *yours.*

    Cheers, douches!

    Semiautodidact

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  7. And another thing: I think that an "hater/internet stalker" would be someone who peruses strangers' Facebook and photo bucket accts, and emails juvenile threats.

    But everyone has their own take on that sort of thing...

    Semiautodidact

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  8. Yeah, I called you a nigger and a Jew and a spic too I thought because I was trying to bait you outta your fucking shell...but you wouldn't budge...like a fucking cockroach so I used your Yahoo to find your facebook (Mitch McCombs)and relatives and then took your Photobucket (mokidugway)and via that..with my blood boiling and dreams of smashing a trolls head in for the 2nd time....

    Then I saw you Mitch. I thought it must be some fakeout but you really are a balding old man. You would never fight me. So I blocked you. Your now subject to my mail and blog filters. I don't even receive your shit no more.

    No point. Your not a man. Your a bitter,spineless ojisan who is now at the level of insulting a young mother who has a kid. Your..I dunno...your blocked. I'll never even respond to anything ever again unless you can take a time machine and go back 20 years and then take some Testosterone shots to grow some balls so I can stomp on em and then try and torque your body enough so that I can actually stuff your little balls into your own mouth.

    Since that's impossible. Enjoy being ignored.

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  9. "...my blood boiling..."

    Good to know!

    Stay douchey, little Chrissy...

    Semiautodidact

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  10. why the fuck have I been watching reality tv when I had this?

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  11. dull witted Ocker harpie... that's gold.

    OMG though I hate ppl who say British English. Do you say French French or Spanish Spanish? The language is English!

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  12. This is priceless. Congratulations on the troll/stalker! If I ever got a stalker I would just wonder just how incredibly boring his or her's life must be to stalk ME???!

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  13. Um Kathrynoh: saying "English English" would be like saying "Spanish Spanish." Saying "British English," otoh, would be like saying "Castilian Spanish." In any case, and just to be clear, "British English
    was what Corinne said, while I merely mentioned a British *spelling* which, for the record I have no real with at all. Is "British spelling" ok?

    Look, I know this is all very exciting for everyone, but: I just got into this because I love riling shitheels like Chris Ballard. And as far as I am concerned, it couldn't have gone better.

    I had, at his atrociously written blog, made a comment regard economics. Next thing I know, he's threatening to stomp me and sends that amazing email I quoted. Corinne (dig my spelling!) felt like chiming in, and well, I clicked her link and responded to the little nasty-gram she left for me over at Chrissy the batboy's place.

    So, I'll promise to leave y'all to your "trenchant" observations...

    Semiautodidact

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  14. Aside from the troll (don't feed the trolls! yay! ho! yay!) I'm astonished: "running for instant marriage improvement" I wanna know moar!! xD

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  15. Wow I agree with gaijinwife..this is better than TV hahaha.

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  16. pass the popcorn...
    thelentilweaver

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  17. Goodness. You didn't just get a hater, you got a full on war. Sarahf

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  18. lol. the bitching at your grammar made me go "wtf" as well since he's making mistakes too... lol.

    oh well... if it makes you happy, congrats? i guess? :p

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  19. I'm bloody gobsmacked and need another brew, this bloke [Semiautodidact] has gone bonkers! Idiots like this are sometimes called 'badgers' here in the states. I guess it keeps the blogs interesting, though.
    old hippie

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  20. I prefer British spelling and Aussie accents... but I guess nobody was really asking.

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  21. I'm just loving 'ocker harpie'! I think you should rename your blog.

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  22. Wow, the timing of this post is ironic.

    (I've been so wanting an excuse to bring up an author's name…)

    The value of your writing is absolutely platinum. Your blog slaps the reader across the face in a way that make a person wonder if it wasn't a kick in the crotch. Not too sure which just happened.

    Better than gold.

    And here's why.

    Once upon a time, Kathy Lette graced my tiny little mind with her “Feotal Attaction” (the cover looks kind of gold). While, Kathy may be guilty of stereotyping the English as unfriendly and condescending, it has me wondering what her view of the Yanks would be. Especially after posts and comments that were witnessed here.

    It's got to be mixed.

    Why on earth anyone would want to compare the size of their Webster's with your Oxford is beyond me. Unless of course, the religious nature of Noah's work is an indication of part of the American psyche that some people just don't get (and hopefully don't).

    http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080918115212AAEBYnQ

    (To see the way people get worked up bout this stuff, answers and comments in the link above might shed some light on this…)

    I'm kind of torn.

    Corinne,you rock. You are not some thought-up figment of anyone's imagination, you are the real Maddie Wolfe, only better - and in the Land of Wa instead of the Land of Eng. And your writing style, the way you write, does have value (refer to Lette).

    Down Under is a land where the best seller lists have titles like,“HOW TO KILL YOUR HUSBAND (AND OTHER HANDY HOUSEHOLD HINTS)” or “TO LOVE HONOUR AND BETRAY (TILL DIVORCE US DO PART)”… to name a few. Those tiles are worth millions…literally.

    I still can’t figure out if open responses to criticism make a person look stronger or the other person weaker...perhaps a mix of both (I cringed).

    Look forward to hearing about your weekend.

    Respectfully,
    Will the Sinner

    (Thinking to self…Now, about that kick in the crotch… it kind of brings up that dreamy scene where someone says, “I could viddy myself helping in and even taking charge of the tolchocking and the nailing in…”only the faces are a little different)

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  23. It just occurred to me that we probably need to feel sorry for the troll. He might be very, very lonely. Why else would he keep this going? I mean, we are just a bunch of online people he doesn't know from a whole in the ground. To let Chris and Corrinne and now Kathyrn get to him is just sad. So, I say we pat him on the head and help him find some real life friends! What do you say guys!? **chirp chirp** No? Anyone?

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  24. So Corinne, stopping by one last time to apologize: My back and forth was with and should have stayed with The Batboy.

    I found your comment regarding me at his place obnoxious but that's no excuse; my response here was out of line, I sincerely regret what I said to you and about you and your husband. Had there been an opportunity, I would have deleted it, probably within five minutes of posting.

    Semi-autodidact

    Chrissy: Check your in-box.

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  25. Congrats on your first hater. ♥ /oblig reference to Kat Williams haters gonna hate, etc.

    It's too bad you can't have a smart troll though. This one sounds really boring. Not only that, but he picks on your profession and your family? Who goes after someone's profession and family? Oh yeah, trolls who are ~jelly~ that's who.

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  26. Hi Corrine. It's my first time here and I love your blog, like reading 5 minute stories. Very compelling reading and not just the relationship stuff. I trawled it yesterday for a while on the back of this drama which probably would never have happened otherwise. You are a good writer, you probably shouldn't write children's books ;-) but I think you could do something interesting with your talent. Kind of proves that there is a silver lining to everything.

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  27. Congratulations on your troll!

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  28. It sure took you long enough to attract one. I had my first well over a year ago.

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  29. I was stoked to get a troll too. I scared em off. Which is sad cause I was not done.

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  30. Weird. Japan seems to collect bitter old haters, somehow. Gaijinpot, anyone? Certainly flattering though!

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