Saturday, 13 August 2011

Woah! Boobs!

Just call me the absent blogger!

I could make loads of excuses as to why I've been missing in action, like;

*A crazy work schedule.
*Getting ready for my trip home *does a ridiculously happy dance*
*Countless hours spent in the toilet sobbing due to twat of a husband.
*It's too bastard hot to be arsed typing.
*Cramming in extra lessons in to make up for my holiday...

But let's be honest, it's pretty much just because I'm lazy!

I've lost my blogging mojo a bit so may have to make September a one a day blog fest to get me back in the rythm...

I did have one funny experience the other day, I got a booby fitting for the first time in Japan! To be honest, I hate booby fittings in any country, let's face it, being crammed in to a tiny cubicle and stripping off for a lady to measure and push and pull your boobies in to bras is not the best thing in the world. Well, if I was a lesbian and the sales girl was hot... OK, sidetracking!

I'd attempted to pluck up the courage to get a fitting when I was in Osaka the week before but I was just with Ryota and men are useless at normal shopping, let alone lady bits shopping. Still, we wandered in to the lingerie shop, bewildered by the sea of frilly bras, lacy panties and all the contraptions that came with them. All I knew is that I wanted to know my correct size (so I could just go buy cheaper bras on the Internet) and I wanted to buy one good, supportive, comfy, push-up bra that would make my saggy, sad little fried eggs look like Pamela Anderson had a shit rack. OK, not quite, but if I am to be a bridesmaid, I want perky boobies at least! I hesitantly approached the sales girl and instantly named her "bunny girl" in my head.
She was the typical J sales girl, young, "cute" in the Japanese way, and with lots of accessories and big hair. I called her bunny girl because her big hair was arranged in a way that made her look like she had two ears and she also had buck teeth. Harsh but true people! I almost expected a fluffy little tail when she turned around! So I approached bunny girl and told her I needed a push-up bra, they really arent that hard to find in Japan seeing as though J-girls have generally pretty small boobs, but just in case she thought I wanted to minimise or something. I was too embarrassed to ask for a fitting so Ryota was like, "She doesn't know her size, can you measure her?" straight up, no hesitation. She bounced off to get her tape measure and invited me in to the torture chamber fitting room, I was sweating profusely which didn't help either, I then had a mini panic attack that she'd put one of her paws on a stray trickle of sweat!
But due to her incompetence it actually wasn' that bad, for one I didn't have to get naked, she did it over my clothes, which is why she was so wrong with her measurements. After much pulling of measuring tape and squishing of boob, she proudly announced through her bunny buck teeth: "75-F desu!"

Errr... Hold the phone bunny-chan, I wasn't even close to an F cup when I was fatter, what the fuck!?

I was pissed off with how off the mark she was, and then she didn't even bother to go get me any bras to try, so no sales bunny of the month for her. Still, I was uncomfortable with the situation anyway and was kind of relieved to get out of there.
I then asked MIL if she knew any good shops where I could get a fitting and we ended up going the next afternoon to the local shopping mall where my nightmare visions were actually put to rest!

I was reluctant again but my MIL is very pushy and told me not to be so stupid, the staff were trained to do booby fittings and I had nothing to be embarrassed about, and rightly so. So I manned the fuck up and approached a sales lady, probably in her late 30's if i had to guess. The late 30's bracket is the most comfortable for me, may be a working mother/wife so has something in common with me but not old enough to be my mother so not intimidating. She was perfect! Well, except she had really bad breathe, but I'll forgive her for that.
She also took my measurements over my clothes but prodded and pushed at my bra and adjusted her measurements accordingly and came to the conclusion I was in fact closer to a 75-C or D. Now that sounds more like it!
She brought me a mountain of bras to try on, telling me the ones she thought were best for me to try first, then amazingly, turned the tiny cubicle in to a spacious haven by pulling a secret curtain out and opening a hidden door. Not sure how it all worked but I liked it! She left me alone as I tried the first bra on and then asked if she could come in, when she did I noticed she had little white gloves on, I thought it may have been to handle the expensive bras but I think it was more for the hands-on booby touching that was to take place. She gave a quick "Shittsureishimaaasu!" ("Excuse me {for the manhandling of your tits that is about to take place}) and she was in there! Explaining how I needed to bend over so all my boobage spilled in to the cups, then got her hands in the pushing my bust in to the bra so the full effects could be seen, then one last push of the little bits of boob that tend to spill out near the arm pit and I was perky! It was quite amazing actually, the bra fit perfectly and we went through the same motions for all the others too.

A slinky set, practical bra and $150 later and I was out of there feeling very confident seeing as though I 'd just been groped by a small Japanese lady for 20 minutes!


  1. Boobage is my new favorite word!!!!Boobage is my new favorite word!!!!

  2. i've never been measured, and now i feel like im missing out

  3. I love Japanese underwear. I really, really love it. The frills and lace and crap. I also find they fit MUCH better than western sizes ... AND are so cheap. Recently Im addicted to the shop "aimerfeel" .. I recommend you check it out...

    I can now successfully fit into Japanese sizes! Although ... Im an H! (In Japan)

  4. totally ripped off -- where are the before and after pics so we can see the full perky glory?

  5. "totally ripped off -- where are the before and after pics so we can see the full perky glory?"

    Dear kathryn, ( NOT.. this posts author...not talking to you!!)

    Thank you for pointing out the painfully obvious. The boner that began growing when I saw this posts title in my blogroll has waned now. I didn't pay anything but I still feel like someone should return me some money.

    Comments with "boobs" in the title should have photos of boobs. It's a law somewhere....maybe?...and It makes sense.

    Let's follow the law people.

  6. Suddenly I have a desire to be employed as a boob groper. Yes, I can handle that job!
    Well you knew this was coming, didn't you.

  7. I also wanna be groped by a Japanese lady!

    OMG did I just type that? Weeell, I'll just leave that here...

    "I didn't pay anything but I still feel like someone should return me some money."
    Damn, I laughed so hard, you cannot imagine! :-D

  8. am looking forward to a proper fitting and some new lace when I have lost all the fat and am just left with boobage. Bet your boobs will look smoking in bridesmaid dress.

  9. Clearly you're a braver woman that I am!

  10. I really lol'd when she shitsureshimasu and started touching your boobs. But at least she made sure it fit well. I'm glad you found a nice bra.

  11. As long as she said "shitsureshimsau", that makes all the groping OK. And gloves? Amazing.

  12. Even though this strip is one where no one ever gets to see those tassels twirl...I'll definitely come back for more.

  13. Maybe it's my Scandinavian background, or perhaps I've just been here too long, but the boob groping doesn't bother me. They get womanhandled (sadly almost only that...until last week WOOHOO!) farily often, especially when I meet new people. :P
    I've just decided to accept it will happen, no matter what.
    Although I'm not a fan of the various measuring types. Over the clothes is still better than what I got once in Osaka: staff girl cups my boobs over bra and clothes IN FULL VIEW of all customers, then proceeds to just cupsize by placed cupped hands over cups. Very scientific.

    I also had a bra fitting this week though, and as someone m,entioned learlier Aimer Feel is a good place to go. Pretty pro and perfect balance between sexy/slutty and cute.

    That staff girl did the whole dipping her hand in as well, but holy crap! She did such a good job, I wanted to take her home instead of the bra! She did a good job of bringing them to their full potential! She also upgraded me a cup size, which is an extra win. XD

    Glad you got yourself some pretty undies though - seems shallow, but it really does make a difference to confidence levels etc, doesn't it! ^^)b

  14. honey, no one could blame you if you said you weren't blogging cuz of this godawful heat!!

    fun story. lol. i will never be able to buy bras in this country though, so i will have to live this experience vicariously through you!!

  15. I've been wanting to get my boobage properly measured for ages now. I just don't have the guts to get woman-handled. Plus I don't want to be judged for my lack of fashion sense. It will just piss me off.

  16. "$150 later and I was out of there feeling very confident seeing as though I 'd just been groped by a small Japanese lady for 20 minutes!" had a good laugh at that line.

  17. Reminds me of the Ahh Bra:

    It must be a really good looking bra for $150 :)
    Maybe the quality will last for a few years too...

  18. That would probably be one of the best jobs in the world. Until a grandma walked in... or someone with manboobs seeking a bro.