The threesome that wasn't.

She didn't know how she got herself into these situations. It was 10am on a Sunday morning, the morning after, and she had woken up to the distant smell of deodorant and sweat as her eyes and brain, fuzzy from the remains of the alcohol still pumping through her blood, got used to her surroundings. She realised her face was resting on a dark brown chest, the tattoo running down it right next to her nose. And behind her, two bony, white knees wedged in between her legs much like a child in the womb. Hands rested on her shouler and on her belly in a protective pose. The room was horribly messy, as was her head, fumbling to piece together what had happened the night before. But there were more important things to think about, a piss and a shower to start with, then perhaps another drink to take the edge off.

It had started the night before, Saturday, her best friend and room mate, her saviour in Japan, was going home. And so a sayonara party had taken place, with a mixture of sadness and excitement for the future without her confident friend to lean on, she went to the gritty streets of Osaka for the obligatory bar hopping that had to take place whenever someone escaped the clutches of Japan to start their real lives. Her friend was popular, actually she felt a little hurt that she didn't get to spend more time with just her friend, she didn't want to share her with the crowds of adoring male fans and loud, high-pitched Japanese girls. But her friend was one of those shining stars of people that not only was a good friend, but could charm the panties off just about anyone, charisma to the extreme, and not in the cheesy way either.

So she kept to herself until she was well and truly drunk, sticking with her dark brown guy friend, who had a Japanese girlfriend but liked to drink and eat Korean BBQ with the girl, and more often than not ending up snogging in a Karaoke booth with her until 9am. They had never slept together, and it was never going to happen, but alcohol does that to you, pushes you a little bit over the edge of reason but not quite to the point of no return. They were best friends, and there wasn't much that could destroy that. On the other side of her, apart from the empty beer glasses, was the gay guy who they sometimes worked with. And he wasn't just 'gay,' he was a total flaming queen. You instantly knew within a few seconds of meeting him that he was impossibly gay, the hand gestures, the voice and the sexual innuendos were a dead giveaway. He was entertaining and had a crush on her dark brown friend so it was an interesting dynamic, although for a gay guy he touched her way more than she would have liked, it made her uncomfortable, and she was already uncomfortable enough in her own skin, without someone else making it crawl.

After more alcohol than ever should have been consumed, the conversation turned dirty, as it always tends to do, and gay guy tried to convince dark brown guy to just give 'being gay' a go. Like it was a trial for a new lifestyle and sexual orientation and a great deal. She laughed at this prospect and was secretly grateful that the attention was totally off her, but she was the buffer, gay guy was about 80% serious and dark brown guy kept joking and looking to her for support. Finally, dark brown guy agreed that if gay guy could get him hard, he'd give it a go. Sounds simple right? Well, that's what dark brown guy was like, open to anything if it was boiled down to pure simplicity. His argument was that he was straight, therefore it was physically impossible to get a hard on from another guy. The girl was totally pissed by this point and was fascinated by the whole argument of fundamental sexual biology. So the three of them left to go home, they all lived in the same area and hopped straight off the train into the local underground bar to order hard liquor and little bowls of fried foods dripping in oily delicious batter. This is the point in time where it became apparent that things were getting serious, gay guy started fondling dark brown guy under the table and she became increasingly aware of how bad it must have looked to every other person in the bar, yet the drunken haze surrounding her made it impossible to do nothing but giggle and exchange desperate glances with dark brown guy.

After about an hour at the bar it was time to push on home, to dark brown guy's house, gay guy was determined to give him a hard on, but he'd had no joy so far. Gay guy rationalised this to dark brown guy being too drunk, but she'd been in enough Karaoke boothes with him to know that he got a hard on when looking at ads for bras and panties, it wasn't that he was drunk, it was that he wasn't gay, and he wasn't turning gay for this guy who wasn't particularly ugly, but nothing that special either.
As they loaded up on covini beers and bottles of vodka to numb the reality of what was going to happen, the girl whispered to the dark brown guy, "Should I go home?!" "NOOOO" he hissed back at her, he was desperate to get out of this situation but it seemed there was no turning back now, gay guy was determined.

Finally, they got to his flat, after the girl stopped in the park to have some vodka and a swing on the swings, increasing the vodka's effects. As they traipsed up the steps, gay boy was still chatting excitedly about what fun the dark brown guy was going to have and she wondered where he thought she fit in to it all, dark brown needed her, but gay guy...
They flopped on the bed, exhausted and drunk and gay guy got straight to it under the covers searching for dark brown guy's dick, the girl giggling at the tangle of wandering hands and web of legs that was going on. Gay guy tried, for a long time, with no success to get him hard, and finally, dark brown guy said "It's no use, I'm not gay, sorry!" But gay guy was still persistent, insisting that it was because he was drunk. The girl had lost interest by this point and was watching a comedy DVD much to the dismay of dark brown guy, when she suddenly heard her name in a desperate tone of voice. Dark brown guy had had a light bulb go off in his head, he needed to prove he wasn't too drunk to get a hard on, but also that he wasn't gay, so he asked the girl to please take her clothes off and give him a blow job, then it would prove he wasn't gay.

The girl was bemused, she hadn't realised she would be dragged in to this scandalous web, but beer in hand, was suddenly excited by the idea of proving the gay guy wrong, like dashing his dreams would prove something about her, so she whipped her top off and dived in. Sure enough dark brown guy got hard as soon as she started, it was probably more from familiarity and relief than anything else, and proudly showed his engorged cock off to gay guy, who was sulking, naked on the side of the bed. They messed around for as long as they could, until gay guy tried to get in on the action, when the girl pretended to pass out, only to really pass out. Thoughts swirled through her head as she fell into the deep sleep that drinking induces, she wondered what was going to happen when they all woke up. And then they did.


This is a true story that happened not that long ago, but so long it feels like a lifetime ago. The girl is me by the way, just in case you were worried I've been pretending this whole time and I'm actually a gay guy or a dark brown one...