Thursday 15 December 2011

An update

Sorry to leave you hanging with all the misery!

Of course things are a lot better since last post, but they've been up and down, depending on Ryota's moods, which makes me believe more and more every day that he is suffering from some kind of mental health issue. And I'm not even being a smart arse, I think he might have some form of depression, not that I'm an expert or anything, but I've been around people with mental illnesses pretty much my whole life and know the signs. It's just a shame I don't think I'm one of those strong people who can get him through it, I'm just not strong enough, so we're all pretty much fucked!

Although I still maintain that if we just shag more all our problems will be solved, a good shag always makes things better!

And speaking of... There's something interesting been going on there. Don't worry, nothing too gory, but basically, when Ryota and I first dated, I think we did the normal amount of kissing, well for a part J-couple anyway. Kissing when shagging was always on the cards but not so much at other times (not counting quick pecks when saying goodbye). But after we got married, the kissing TOTALLY stopped. Not during shag time, not any time! I like kissing so I was a bit miffed, but you know, it's not that exciting when it's with someone you're married to anyway, so meh, no big loss. Then, about 2 weeks ago, he just started up with the kissing during shagging. I have no idea why, but now it is standard! Not complaining, but why would it just start up now?? I'm perfecting his technique too, he was all shove-the-tongue-right-down-the-throat in the beginning, but he's actually improving and I look forward to some of the only real intimacy we have. But really, how intimate can it get with a snoring 2 year old next to you?? Still, I take what I can get in this affection starved world I live in.

Christmas season is as busy as fuck as usual but I have decided to take 2 blissful weeks off over New Year and Christmas because, well it's my school and I'll bludge if I want to. I can't wait to be a real mum and take Ash to the park and stuff!

I'm pretty much organised present wise, sent my $200 worth of postage back to the family, funny when the postage starts costing more than the damn gift. Of course Ryota bitched and moaned like he always does about Christmas western style being expensive and too much of a bother until I told him to shut his trap, he didn't have to do any of the hard work and that it can't be helped, Christmas is expensive, deal.

I'm slowly but surely eating my way in to fattyville again, but being pregnant gives you this luxury I guess, I'll just have to take shit loads of drugs and starve myself after bubby is born. The things we do...

I HATE not being able to drink, I was literally drooling over all the foreign wines they have at our local supermarket for the festive season. Surely the baby won't mind a little drop on Chrissy night or New year's eve???

I've been having terrible cravings for Indian food, which luckily for me, is good and fairly cheap in Japan, however most of the time, the only person with enough free time/no life to go with me, is dog fucker. I hate going to dinner with her but can't really well go by myself, so I've eaten out twice with dog fucker recently. She's totally due for a mood swing so maybe I should get one more meal out of her before she snaps and retreats to her dog-fucking cave.


  1. SO glad you are back!!!
    I was beginning to wonder that you'd decked him with the Christmas tree and headed to a beach with the family money....

    Snorted into my coffee while reading about kissing and J-men....they just aren't any good at it are they!! Tongue down the windpipe is about all they know....I blame all the J-porn and's either split the body porn positions (which no woman over 16 is capable of) or a slight, mutual pressing of shoulders in romantic movies here....not much in between.
    Go teach him girl!

  2. I drank like a fish when I was pregnant and it didn't hurt my son... much... maybe...

  3. I'm so glad the kissing has started back up because I was about to slit my wrists after reading that it had stopped between you both for a while.

    It's good to see that things are better, especially with Christmas just around the corner, and it's fab you are taking some time off work to chill.

    Kathryn - He he he..that made me laugh.

  4. Definitely the kissing before marriage and now changed here too. Sometimes we can go a whole shag session with just a bit at the start or the end - or other times its all on. Wouldn't mind more though :)

    Indian sounds great. Wish I was there to relieve dog fucker of her escorting you out for curry and naan. yum.

  5. "Although I still maintain that if we just shag more all our problems will be solved, a good shag always makes things better!"

    I have been given a variety via court ordered anger management lessons but they made shit worse. Making love or just having nasty porn vid ready sex is the best medicine. Most depressed folks feel alone for various reasons. Ryota needs you more than he imagines and that probably causes stress because you got power on him. Maybe the intimacy (kissing) is a sign of him accepting you are THAT fucking important.

    Prostitutes say fucking is for the customers but kissing is for the boyfriend only. Sounds ridiculous unless you love kissing (me too) and it is so much more intimate than sex itself. Even the "Pro's" know that.

    Ryota is lonely.

    You wanna blow his mind...

    Next time you guys go batshit crazy on each other ...when it gets really bad and your about to cry which is his goal...making you feel his pain.....stop and look him in the eye and tell him you love him and all the screaming and yelling and insults will never change that because he has your heart. Smile.

    I had a girl do that to me once and I never felt so loved in my life. I blew that but that's another story. She nailed me with love. I know you get what I'm saying...the moment before you lose it just let go and be what you don't wanna be....his mother...that unconditional love is what every little boy inside the man craves. You gotta take off the wife hat for a few seconds.

    It goes against every instinct but it's life being born again if Ryota is feeling how I think he is.

    For what it's worth :)

  6. I think a bit of wine can't be that bad. All those Romans drank it all the time. Okay, their empire fell apart, but I don't think the reason was drinking wine during pregnany.

    Ryota-wise I agree with Chris. That is all.

  7. Good point, Michelle, indeed I blame the quakes for the downfall of the empire, and the pain in the ass it was to rebuild because the blocks were so darned big. They are scattered throughout the 'hood where I have my flat in Turkey, just left there, having tumbled, the Romans moving on, saying, 'fck that for a game of soldiers' and eventually winding up as English teachers in Japan.

    Good advice.

  8. Great advice Chris.

    I feel sorry for a lot of women out there if the guys are copying things they have seen in porn.Is there even sex education in this country?

    I usually buy things here and send them over for birthdays and then buy things on Australian websites and get the parents to wrap it for me for Christmas as it's way easier to write a list and buy presents for everyone in front of the computer. Plus malls in December do my head in.

    You should ask why Japanese blokes don't kiss much to hubby. I would be interested in the answer.

  9. I'm interested in knowing why people don't like to go to restaurants by themself. Not a criticism--it's just that I travel a lot on business and do quite a bit of that. Lunch is fine, especially with reading material. You might find dining alone more pleasurable than you imagine...Considering the alternative.

    As for the real issue at hand--I agree that Chris just gave you some amazing advice. The fact that R is kissier than before seems like a sign--that he's accepting the fact that you are (I think) the most important person in his life. He might really take it to heart if you call him on his shit.

    Also, if R doesn't seem to get better, have you considered seeking help? He might have a chemical imbalance or Daddy issues he needs to resolve. I've had a lot of angry people in my life, and all who have sought help have gotten better.

    I felt that men could get away with exploding more in Japan than here in the US. My J man used to lose his shit quite a bit and all the women in his life would try to placate him. He stopped doing that in the US because managers kept calling him in to talk about his feelings...

    Sorry to have written so much. Yours is the only one I've commented on a bit (a few times, recently), because I've been through a similar phase of life. You seem to have a lot going for you, but it's hard to feel that when you're trying to make so many people happy and you'll always fall short; we all do. I think this can be worse with a J-hubby, but they change. Mine did. Best of luck to you :)

  10. Great advice, anon. This blog sure does have a good readership.
    I concur with you, about the eating out alone, I absolutely love it, indeed, I prefer cooking for company, and eating out alone if in a country where it doesn't cost the earth to do so.

  11. ok, is there a "like" button i can click for Chris' comment?

    and yay for the kisses being back on! ^_^ i'm SUCH a kissing person, and i don't think i could ever date anyone who is not into kissing as much as i am... even post marriage, that just sounds SO sad to me...

    i'm glad to hear that things are good again (for the most part :p) and that you're taking some time off! enjoy it! enjoy being a mom! and relax!

    happy holidays!!

    (PS: you gotta hook me up with those diet pills, girl!!)