Monday, 13 September 2010

Hot monk!!

We had a fairly uneventful weekend, apart from me nearly dying from asthma and all (not really, but was pretty "kurushii" for a while there!). Ryota didn't go surfing due to my death stares between wheezes and coughs as he even contemplated talking about it. Ash and him both caught my cold a bit too, although not quite as bad as me luckily, so we kind of had a lazy, sleepy kind of weekend.

On Sunday, we went to FIL's house to YET AGAIN pray for Grandma's soul. That woman seriously better be appreciating the time, effort and CASH that has been forked out for her damn soul, I swear a monk is at that damn butsudan every second week! When praying was mentioned I sighed and said "fine, let's do it." But inside I was thinking 'Fuck me, not again!' Not that praying is that hard or anything. I usually go along with the drill by sitting on my feet J-style, and clasping my hands together in a prayer-ish pose, I even try to think good thoughts about Grandma, but always have to stop myself from saying "Dear God..." in my mind, as I think Buddha and God would be a little pissed if I did that...

Having a rambunctious 1 year old doesn't help either, it seems every time the monk starts chanting Ash gets an insane urge to jump on his anpanman bike and push the "Shupppaaaaatttsssuuuuu!!!!" button a zillion fucking times, how to explain to a toddler that they can not do something so mind- bogglingly fun while using hushed tones as to not interrupt the flow of Buddha or whatever the fuck is going on is quite a challenge! Although I usually use him as an excuse to relieve the numbness from my legs so I shouldn't complain too much...

The usual monk shits me to tears, he's old, he's boring, he likes to talk about himself a lot, and I can understand maybe 10% of his Japanese. Sooooo, imagine my surprise on Sunday when in walks... a hot monk! He's 32, (I asked) has lovely hands, (I couldn't stop looking) went to Tokyo university, (and not a random one THE Tokyo university!) and most importantly, I could understand his Japanese!!! Monk success I'd say. It turns out he is the usual monk's son, although I don't know how they're related, they're like chalk and cheese in every aspect. So my usual praying for Grandma's soul was brightened a little bit, maybe it's the whole Buddhist robes thing, I do like a man in uniform (but usually the non-religious type...)

We even got into a chat about different types of Buddhism, he explained the whole '6 worlds' of Japanese Buddhism and I asked him why Japanese monks got off so easily in that they could still shag and drink and eat meat and stuff. My in-laws were amazed to hear that there were monks who couldn't eat meat, they were all like "But what about yakiniku!?" Big lovable twats that they are.
Ryota got to talking to him about what Buddhists think about him going surfing all the time and my hot monk's response was "balance for all is good..." very Buddhist like I guess, but still gave Ryota licence to say to me all night "We need balance, the monk said so, I'll go surfing on Saturday just to keep the balance, OK...?"

So, I'm hoping hot monk comes back next time, I will be very disappointed if his father rocks up after all the flirting I did!


  1. Sneaky Monk photo request please. The young one or both to compare ;P

  2. And Buddhist monks can marry too! Just in case things don't work out with Ryota, ya know ;) AND, at least the ones around here (we live right next door to a big tourist attracting temple) are loaded! They all drive Mercedes and Hummers and BMWs and whatnot, because get this, they don't have to pay any taxes! No income tax, no property tax. If you're going to live in Japan the rest of your life, marrying a monk, especially if he his hot, is definitely the way to go. Sorry, not trying to encourage you and Ryota breaking up or anything. May you live happily ever after, with lots of balance, though not necessarily the kind that involves balancing on boards in the ocean.

  3. I think we need sneaky camera pictures... for balance... ;)

  4. I think you should become devout.

    ... at least on the weekends.

  5. "I do like a man in uniform (but usually the non-religious type...)" - Love! The hotties are always in the most unexpected places...

  6. There are a few hot monks to be found. There's something about all that balance that sends me all a flutter...

  7. Bald guys are pretty sexy in my opinion!