They suckered me in those seductive bitches with their delicate pink petals. (Obligatory boring pictures to follow...)Spring has lightened my mood considerably, although I'm not all sunshine and fucking birds chirping. I HATE pregnancy. But I fucking hate being pregnant in Japan, or more specifically, the fucking nurses at the maternity clinics. I would like to imagine that it's just my stuck-up clinic, but I've heard the same stories so many times. But today was actually a good turning point for me, where I got so angry that I hit a turning point of actually not giving a fuck.
So this is how it went, the doctor always sucks air in through his teeth and tells me I'm too fat, but nothing I can't handle, and he's quite nice about it. But the fucking nurses are awful! I've managed to dodge a few lectures up until now by refusing to go to the fucking 'nutrition seminars' they schedule for me. I had to bluntly tell them that unlike a lot of women who quit their job when they get engaged in this backward country, that I in fact have a job, one that I cannot afford to be away from hearing a nurse bang on about the importance of eating rice, fish and 14 varieties of pickles for breakfast. Ain't happenin' bitch.
But they tricked me today the sly cunts. They got me in a little room by telling me they needed to show me how to do exercise to turn the baby around (he's still breech at the moment). The nurse pissed me off from the very start by telling me the instructions on how to do the exercise in fast and hard Japanese for 10 minutes, before giving saying "Can you speak Japanese?" Ummm yes dumb fuck, that's why I've been nodding and responding to your instructions for the last 10 fucking minutes.
And then came the old fat bomb, she didn't mince words, which is fine, but then said, "So, do you think you can lose some weight...?" And she added a "kana...?" on the end which implies she's talking to a fucking 4 year old with a disability.
And it actually made me happy that she was such a fuck tard, because for the last 8 months I've actually really cared about putting on weight, I've cried about it, stressed about it and possibly developed depression over it. But it was then that I showed her just how much Japanese I could speak, it was quite an impressive rant, at least 2 minutes. I basically told her that I put on the same amount of weight with my first son, I intend to diet like a mother fucker once the kid is out and that seeing as though the bub is measuring smaller than normal, I feel fine, my blood work is fine and if I were in Australia nobody would give a fuck about my weight... That she didn't and shouldn't talk to me about it again. It felt good, she was a bit shocked, and then asked if my first birth was hard. To which I actually snorted and said that of course it fucking was, I don't know too many that aren't but I think it would have been fucking hard whether I was fat or not. And walked out, saying I had didn't need her 400 pieces of paper telling me what to eat, I didn't want to kill any more trees. It was kind of weird that I added that because I actually don't really give a toss about the trees, I just wanted something to say at the end...
I feel liberated and am hoping they don't say anything more to me about it, I'm sure she won't anyway.
Ok, less ranting, more flowers!