Wednesday, 27 May 2009

Power of positive thinking

When I was younger, like really young, as in 6 years old, I couldn't sleep at night because I was worrying about my homework. I used to worry about going to high school when I was in the 4th grade. I hated anything remotely scary like roller coasters, my sister and I went to Dream World once (a theme park on the Gold coast) and she had to bribe her pudgy little sister (me) with chocolate macadamia nuts for me to go on a ride with her. I hated going outside when it was windy because I was scared of a tree falling on me. I used to grip the seat and close my eyes when I was on an airplane. I used to get paranoid that I would lose my friends and be left alone. I would have stress attacks about my university work becasue I thought I was too dumb to pass. I was scared that I would never get married or be so old when I did that I wouldn't be able to have kids. (ohhhh the irony in that!) What. A. Weirdo.

I'm happy to say that I am exactly the opposite now, and I truly believe that it was coming to Japan that changed me. I am now the one who jumps up and down on the plane to freak people out, I say people, I mean Ryota. :) I'm the one who gets in the 2 hour line up to ride the scariest freakin thing at the amusement park. I really don't worry like I used too, and thank god, I would have ended up with a stomach ulcer by the time I was 25 the way I was going!

When I was in high school, people would ask me, "So what are you going to do in the future??" and I would reply "I'm going to go to Japan." Of course I had no intention of going, it was just something I said to keep people quiet and because the real reply was "I have no fucking idea and it scares me sooooooo much! Stop asking me!!!!!!" while blowing air into a paper bag.
Even when I went to university and studied Japanese, I would still tell people I was going to go to Japan but still had no intention of going. And I was still a very negative cynical person, a true pessimist. I figured if I set myself up for the worst possible outcome I would never be disappointed. Of course this never works, I don't know why, but it never does.

It could possibly have been the fact that I couldn't have prepared myself for the worst outcome when I got my heart broken. How dramatic! hehe, of course looking back it was so stupid, I thought I was going to die and all that jazz of first heart break. So to pull myself out of the well of self pity, I actually did come to Japan, and even then I was still being negative and thought I'd probably come home after about a month or so. But I didn't, and it was hard, but it was the best thing I have ever done. And because it was so scary, it was like nothing else was scary in comparison. And that was it! My negativity, my fear, my hesitation all disappeared!

So for the last few years I have felt so free compared to when I was younger, I'm not scared and I love it.
There is a little verse that is hanging in our genkan, Ryota tried to read it yesterday and couldn't understand a word of it, he figured he should understand anything that is on our wall so I translated it for him and we both agreed on how true it is, an oldy but a goody:

If you think you are beaten, you are;
If you think you dare not, you don't.
If you'd like to win but think you can't,
It's almost a cinch you won't.
If you think you'll lose, you've lost,
For out in the world you'll fins
Success begins with a person's will-
It's all in your state of mind.


  1. I had an inspiration board when I was working and saving up for our SOHO, home and condo-- the board was my positive way of thinking, I would tear out magazine shots of how I wanted to rooms, etc.. it kept me going in a BS world of Teaching English, and the other odd contract jobs I'd take....

  2. Girl Japan~ That's a good way to keep focused on the goal! I might have to start one of those for our dreams!

  3. I think I told you this but I also came to Japan to "recover from a brokenheart" intially at least :) Haha I think its so funny how much our lives have mirrored the other!!

    Staying positive is good.. really good.. I need to tattoo that poem on my bump or something god knows i would never miss it that way.

  4. Sara~ I know, the similaritis are weird aren't they!? It's becasue we're awesome! :D

    Hey bump tattoo is a good idea! Until she's born, then it becomes less bump and more stretchy belly skin! I too fight to stay positive when I look at my tummy these days!

  5. I have noticed since coming to Japan that I'm not as shy as I was in Australia. I still am, I still hating meeting new people, but I find it easier to put myself into the situation than when I was in Australia. I guess like you, after coming to Japan and having to live a life in a foreign country, talking to a few new people doesn't sound so scary!!

    I followed Naoki back to Japan but he was kind of a 'rebound' relationship that worked out to be the perfect decision of my life!

    Just think, if you didn't get your heart broken, you wouldn't have come to Japan, nor would you have met Ryota or have your gorgeous son!! People say that everything does happen for reason and of course, positive thinking always helps :)

  6. Nay~ That's so true, when you come t Japan you just have to talk to strangers in a completely different language, it's definitely confidence building!
    I often think about that, what a different path my life would have taken if I hadn't come to Japan, but I wouldn't swap my lifefor anything now!