Bullets

*Ryota and I had an awful weekend. He told me I could go to my dance lesson that I used to go to, but then said "Hmmm I don't think you can go EVERY week though..." So I didn't go because there was no point going for one lesson when you have to pay by the month. I didn't even fight, I was just so disappointed and sad. I think he sensed it and felt guilty. It was horrible, I felt so... alone... out of control...?

*He's been super nice to me ever since, guilt has its benefits but I still would rather just be able to go to my fucking dance class.

*I have a chest cold, as in breathing is a difficulty and I sound like a tranny!

*Little bro got back to Japan only to get a blood clot on the plane and almost died again, he's now in the local hospital so finally things are looking better-ish.

*Work is busy, kicking my arse but busy is good and I'm finally finding a balance between work and house shit, getting better with time management.

*I've lost 7 kilos! Wooohoooo, minimal drugs too, just protein shakes instead of lunch and a diet supplement at night. I will be back to my thinner self by my 30th.

*Sometimes I like fighting with Ryota and being busy because I feel too bad to eat, hence the 7kgs...

*Excuse me while I go and cough up a lung or two...