Since I can remember, I've had issues with my weight. OK let's cut the shite and tell it how it really is; ever since I've been old enough to scoff tim tams behind the pantry door I've been a lazy, lard-arsed, tub.
And I know people tell you that how big you are shouldn't affect you if you're comfortable with yourself and that being skinny isn't the key to happiness blah.. blah.. blah. Bullshit, for me, being skinni(er than my usual whale-like self) solves most to all of my problems and makes me feel better. Much better. Without sounding too 'pro-ana' or anything, I personally am a much happier camper when I'm not so much of a lard-arse. I actually envy those people who are happy with being overweight.
I think this mentality comes from my dad, he's what we call a 'fatophile,' he judges people if they're fat. He thinks they're lazy, and not as intelligent as other people. Of course easy for him with his super speedy metabolism and all. I don't think that at all, but it may have had some effect on me as a child, I'm banking all these things for when I'm crazy enough for therapy. My mum and sister are also consistent yo-yo dieters too so I was bound to have issues.
Here are a few photos from when I was pretty big, I may have been bigger in Australia but I only have photos from in Japan, I think I'm probably over 100kgs here!
About 2 years ago I decided to actually do something to make my life better and lose a shitload of weight. This was how my days were:
6am- Run/Jog/Walk/Bike for an hour. Big breakfast.
9am-5pm- Work. No lunch.
6pm- 1 hour run.
8pm- Sit-ups/ weight training/ Some form of resistance training.
I also drank nothing but green tea, oolong tea or water.
This was incredibly boring but it worked, and I got to my happy place, 77kg. It's not thin by any means but it was good for me, I'm tall so 77kg was great for me.
It was great. All going to plan. Losing weight, feeling healthy... Then I got preggers! Which is good too, but basically made me put back on a ton of weight and totally lose my losing mojo.
I gained at least 20kg when preggers, I tried to keep the jogging up but my friends told me I was killing my unborn child with all the jiggling (until they saw the Sex and the city movie and decided if Charlotte could run then so could I). But by that time I was tired all the time and just couldn't be arsed jogging. I did try preggo yoga but it wasn't very strenuous and the doctor told me my I'd done too many kegel exercises while I was giving birth! WTF?!
Anyway, not sure of the final weigh-in figure because thankfully Australian doctors don't weigh you at preggo check-ups unlike my Japanese clinic where they paraded me out to the weighing machine which printed out my weight so I couldn't even fib and knock off a few kilos, bastards! But I know it was close to or over the 100kg mark (despite consistent bollocking from J-Docs).
I lost a bit due to mummy/ Japan stress when I got back and am now at 86kgs.
Phew, that took balls! I'm one of those 'never tell your weight' people but fuck it, if I'm going to get anywhere I need to get it out there!
I'm aiming for my happy place 77kg but really would like to be 70kg, nice round number. 80 is a little too round and 60 is a little too bony, although wouldn't knock it back! So giving it a crack! let's see how I go...
Around the time of my happy place!
EDIT: Ryota saw this post and told me he hates skinny Japanese bony girls and that he loves my squidgy bits. Awwww. He also told me I look a little like a rat in my happy place picture!!! God bless him.
WTF is with all the comment word verification craziness?? I want one that says 'fatcow' when I leave a comment...
You'll get there! As long as you know what works for you and feels healthy, you neither have to listen to fatophobes nor cajolers :-)ReplyDelete
Hahah, my word verification code was "sucker"!ReplyDelete
Like the pick of you in your 'happy place'. I am 82 now and HATE IT. I was 77 before I got preggers this time, 70 before I got preggers the first time and 63 when I was running marathons and being a silly bugger. Ganbaro.ReplyDelete
I think you have the right motivation to be able to lose the weight and get back down to your 'happy place'. You did it once and I know that you can do it again :) If only everyone had your motivation... especially me :PReplyDelete
I whinge and cry and stress about my weight while stuffing my face with Salt and Vinegar chips or lollies... :(
I was trying to lose weight before I went back to Australia and was doing pretty good. I was drinking only water which surprisingly enough actually did work. But it is SOOO hard to keep to a routine when all of my family are big coke drinkers and I get paid out if I choose water :( ... Now that I am back in Japan I really need to get stuck into it again.
You are my motivation!!
please give the above link a read-through and see what you think. Thank you!ReplyDelete
It's stupid for people to say you should be happy at any weight. Not that anyone should be filled with self loathing just because they put on a few kilos but I reckon most people are happier when they look good, and definitely happier when you feel fit and healthy.ReplyDelete
Welcome to the 'trying to lose weight' club!ReplyDelete
I doubt I'd be so bothered if I was still in the UK where I could easily buy a bigger size but once my clothes start getting tight here, it's either lose the weight or go abroad and shop (which I've done in the past!). Rather than the number of kilos though, I agree there is a weight that we all feel comfortable with - for me it's around 68 kg which means I have just over 5kg to lose - but with all the beer around in the summer (and not a lot of will-power) it's proving hard to shift. Gambaro!
Reckon the verifcation code maker must be reading the comments -mine was 'exabs'!!ReplyDelete
Best of luck acheiving your weight loss goals.ReplyDelete
When I went back to Australia in May 2008 for the year I knew I had to lose weight- I had put on 22kg in the 2.5 years I had been in Japan that time and while I knew I would never lose it all (nor did I really want to) I walked and did weight watchers until I lost 12kg and I was happy at that weight (and then I got pregnant- go figure!). I definitely agree that I have a "happy place" it is not a particular number but more of a 3kg either side of 70kg type goal! Hopefully after baby I will be able to get back to my goal within 6 months to a year.
Hope it all works out for you- with the amount of running training you are doing I am sure you will get back to your goal in no time!
You look fabulous in your current size from all the latest pics you've posted. Everyone is much harder on themselves than other people are. Weight is very personal, so if you feel more comfortable loosing a few more kilos, then go for gold! Good luck and look forward to hearing about your progress! Brisbane no KatieReplyDelete
I was there twice in my life- and let me just say I HATED IT!ReplyDelete
I was not puri-puri-- and happy, I am happy at my normal 58kg weight (then I looked like tits on a stick)- I broke my knee in 2005, put on 30kg, lost most of it- then tried my luck again a year and a half ago- I was overly confident... split the knee again about a year and half ago-- gained 25kg, lost half and have another half to go!
It is hard work but walking, and do some form of exercise for 50min, you'll get there.. just don't deprive yourself, I am losing it slow at 1-3kg a month.
I have been there!!!!!! So I know how you feel!
i'm trying on the HAES philosophy (the kate harding blog) but you can't make someone follow it. weight is such a personal issue, mainly because of society and pressure. you need to be comfortable with yourself and if exercise and eating right is going to take you there (duh! lol) then that's all you need. i wish you the best of luck toward your goal.ReplyDelete
i also think you look fabulous! in the end it's how you feel about yourself, but it doesn't hurt to hear that others think you're beautiful!
I agree with other comments that you always look fab in the pics you post on your blog so I was surprised to be reading about weight issues. I hope you achieve your goals though I'm sure you will running around after your gorgeous baby, not to mention all the jogging you do too. Good luck.ReplyDelete
Hi Corinne, I am the poster who put the link to the Kate Harding blog thing - I just want to apologize for just throwing it up there without more explanation, I now feel like a bible-belt evangelical trying to convert someone. I thought you might find it an interesting viewpoint but I don't want to shove the HAES ideas down anyone's throat. Sorry! I really like your blog a lot! I will continue reading about your interesting life in Japan and not try to press my views on you!ReplyDelete
I also read Kate Harding's blog, too, and am trying on the Healthy At Any Size philosophy for myself. However... the other part of me says that if your happy weight is a healthy weight and you can get there and stay there through sensible means, how is that any different than coloring your hair or plucking your eyebrows? So, if you want to lose weight, go for it!ReplyDelete