Friday 20 May 2011

The 'B' word...

Bitch? Bastard? Balls? Ball bag licker? Bint? Bollocks? Bimbo? Biddy? Bed wetting?Backdoor bandit? Bleeder? Bag of douche? Bumf? Blubber? Beef curtains? Bum fluff? Bell end?

No. Much worse than all of those combined.

B stands for… baby.

*insert terrified shriek here*

You’d think that I hate kids, (especially my own!) the way I talk sometimes, which is actually totally not true, I mean it’s moments like this…

And this…

That make my days worth it. But another baby added in to the mix of my life just does not sit well. Ryota is happily convinced that after my besty’s wedding in August I will throw caution and my pill to the wind and go on a baby-making shag fest so that we can bring another bundle of joy in to our already complicated lives. Not happenin’ buddy. Ryota wants at least 2 kids, 3 if he can twist my arm, and in theory, so do I.
In a perfect world where money grows on trees and kids don’t make you fat and have to be pushed out of your vagina and they don’t need attention 24/7, sure I’ll have a whole army!
But seriously, apart from all the selfish and materialistic reasons I don’t want another baby, (just yet anyway) I’m thinking about the practical reasons, one reason actually, the school.

I run a small English school where I am the only teacher, finding a replacement teacher to work for 2 or 3 months would be very hard and the rent is too expensive to consider just closing for the time I’m bleeding so profusely from my gash that I won’t be able to teach. So the practicalities of having another small person attached to my boobs for a few months while juggling work and a toddler are just not workable in my eyes. I’m hoping the school gets bigger so that we actually need to get another teacher in to help, that way they could just take over if I needed to take a break. Not likely to work out so perfectly, but definitely a possibility in the future.

But if I’m being honest with myself, the practical reasons could always be worked around, we’d always manage with money, the selfish, shallow reasons however… not so easily solved.

Top 5 selfish reasons I don’t want another baby…

1) I don’t want to get fat (again).
2) I don’t need any more stretch marks on my road map belly.
3) Babies are noisy. And time consuming. And shit and eat all day and night.
4) I don’t want to be the primary care-giver again. Tried it once, sent it to kindy.
5) I don’t want to stop running.

So there you are, I could bleat on about “not being ready” or any other bullshit excuse, but the truth is, I don’t want to mess up my life. My life is good, I’m loving it and another baby would seriously throw a spanner in my happy works. It makes me feel slightly guilty but I figure if I’m not happy then nobody else around me is going to be either, so really I’m doing them a favor!

I feel a bit bad for Ash, it would be nice for him to have a play mate and a good lesson for a newer, cuter baby to take all the limelight off him, but he’s just going to have to wait a few more years. Me and my sister are 5 years apart and although we almost punched the living shit out of each other on many occasions, we also played games and made imaginary worlds together, that shit is not separated by 5 years. And now we don’t even feel the 5 year difference, in fact I’m the one settled down with a family and business while she’s still dancing around barefoot at concerts and travelling. You just never can tell how things are going to turn out.

The point of this post? I’m shit scared of having another baby, I want one more but I wish it didn’t interfere with my life so much. What do you think, am I being too selfish?? Do you know where my maternal instincts have disappeared to?? How many years between siblings is good??

Yoroshiku ne…

Oh, and another word that begins with B… BOOBS.

I have boob issues at the moment, set-off by Ryota hassling me that I had no tits. I argued I was wearing a C cup bra but he then pointed out that it was all loose and too big for me therefore making me a B cup. To my horror, when I took it off it was a B, making me… an A?!?! In the chubby days I was a freaking generous D! But fat tits are not the same as big tits and I’ll take being thinner any day, but still! What the fuck is going on? I totally need a boob job.

Ryota took a surprise snap of me in only my pants and I just couldn’t stop looking at my boobs, or lack of. I wish I could share the photo, but it’s SO bad, as in, gut sticking out, (I’d had yakiniku) weird scared puppy dog look on my face, and, well, my pathetic boobs…

Here’s the deal, I’ll post the picture if this post gets… 50 comments, if not, my dignity stays intact. It’s like a giveaway where the prize is shaming me! And no anonymous bullshit, has to be a comment from a blogger, or at least a convincing real person!


  1. You see, now I feel weird and pervy for commenting, because that makes it look like I want to see pictures of your boobs... The baby thing? You're not selfish. You're being smart, babies take a lot of effort, there's nothing wrong with admitting that. Having said that, doesn't pregnancy make your boobs grow? Just asking...

  2. It's a catch 22! But they do grow, and then they go like a deflated balloon, all saggy and gross! :/ Don't feel pervy, trust me the picture is more laughable than horny!

    P.S. The comment count just went up, mine don't count!!! *hyperventilates at the thought of actually posting the picture*

  3. Wow! You are a braver girl than I thought! I'm not commenting because I want to see your tits, though I am curious, more like I feel like I've been dared to comment (insert evil laugh). I had big by foreign standard tits before I got pregnant with #1 and after I stopped bf'ing, they shriveled to the smallest, most unattractive boobs EVER! Definitely a minus when weighing the pros and cons of having a baby. Though I hear if you don't bf, your boobs don't go flabby and gross.

    We still want 2 more kids, but I think for me it's kind of like in for a penny in for a pound. I've already fucked up my life by moving to Nagano and having 1 (now 2) kids, might as well go whole hog. BUT not a day goes by, especially recently, where I don't question whether I have made the right choice with my life. You are not being selfish. Having more kids if you think you're not ready would be selfish.

  4. Hilarious. You do realise that you are totally going to get 50 comments just because everyone wants to see the picture! LOL!

    The baby thing is a tough one. I sometimes think that if Joey hadn't happened by complete accident, I still wouldn't be a Mum as it is a MASSIVE decision. I guess you are similar in that you didn't make the conscious decision to get pregnant the first time around so it is really hard to make it the second time round!! I am quite alot older than you so in my mind I have a feeling that time is running out (although really at 33 I still have way to go until I hit menopause!) so decisions need to be made sooner rather than later but like you I have the overwhelming feeling that life is good at the moment and starting from scratch with the baby thing when Joey is so fabulously independent feels like crazy talk!!!

    I don't think you are being selfish and really, there is no rush. You will have more babies when you a ready. :-)

  5. Oops, this one is empty, sorry...
    Does it count? :)

  6. Another reason: if you want to travel, it's easier with 1 kid only. Stroller on and off the train or plane, sleeping schedule, etc. Also a hotelroom is easier to find for a smaller family.

  7. The loose bra thing. You might still need a B cup if you just went down a size. I watched a TV show many years ago(may ahve been "Richard and Judy" so not quality TV or anything) and the Queen's corset maker (corseteer!?) was on and she explained that most women need to go down a size and up a cup.

  8. Hey, I'm not a blogger, but I do enjoy reading yours, very funny stuff!
    I don't have children, so you probably wouldn't put too much stock into what I have to say, but I don't think you are being selfish. I can understand how children can throw a big ol' spanner in the works, so why not do as you see fit for yourself and your situation?
    I'm surprised it hasn't reached 50 comments already! :)

  9. As for the sibling question... Mine are close together but that was a race against the biological clock kind of thing. If you don't feel ready for number two, then maybe wait a bit longer. Having two feels more than double the work load somedays... but a joy all the same!

  10. it's funny, my boyfriend and i were just having a conversation about having babies (no, not pregnant! or planning on being any time soon! ..ha!) and he was saying, "don't you think *having* babies, just because YOU want them, is selfish?"

    while i see his point, i think that people who *want* babies should have them, people who don't want, shouldn't. i think both cases have a certain degree of selfishness, but that's just the nature of the beast. so, sure, it may sound selfish to say "i don't want a baby because it'll change my current situation, which i happen to quite like" i don't think it's always a bad thing.

    i would love to have kids (at least 3 if possible!) but, like you, i love my job and my current lifestyle. a baby would kind of throw that all off. so, until the "yays" of having a baby outweigh the "nays"...and, again, if possible, i'd sort of like a ring and a wedding before any little baby makes his way onto the scene.

    my older brother and i are 2 years apart and NEVER got along as kids. my little brother is 4 years younger, and my mom says i was his second mom! i think gender has just as big an impact as age difference, so you're not ruining all chances of them being close by putting years between them. my brothers, over 6 years apart, have always been close.

    long comment short: maybe a bit selfish, but it's your life and your body, and while there will probably have to be some compromise somewhere between you and Ryota, since he wants kids, i don't think waiting a little longer is completely unreasonable.

  11. My mum only gave birth to my sister because everyone told her I needed a playmate and we'd be friends. We hated each other until well after we both left home.

    My other sister is 13 years younger and we are best friends.

    Also my son is an only child but he had so many friends growing up that were like siblings. They say you forget all the pain and hardship - but I say bullshit to that.

    Aren't Japanese cup sizes a size smaller than Aussie? So a B is actually a C. That is either good or bad depending on where you bought your bra. Just lose the weight then get them pumped up again :)

  12. I never had any kids cuz I don't wanna be tied down and more importantly my child would have 50% of my D.N.A and that just frightens me. My Mom once looked at me during a battle.....looked at me dead in the eye and said..

    "I hope you have a kid JUST like YOU!.....then you'll see"

    And she just walked away from a yelling fight with a peaceful she had cursed me.
    It was very weird and it kinda scared me.

  13. I'm doing my part of the 50 comment thing. There is no selfishness in waiting a few years before having another kid. I'm a single kid and I never suffered because of that. There is no "best" number of years between siblings.

    I just want to say that however you look, you are normal, you are a reglar person. I'm from Sweden and our most famous blogger/biggest influence on girls from 8 upwards is this girl:

    The world need more real people who are confident in themselves. PS: I'm also an A.

  14. Long time lurker here, just commenting for the boobs... No, seriously, it is my first post here but it's beacause I feel this post as a challenge to actually leave a comment, not that I dont find you really hot... well never mind that.

    Just to leave my two cents on the baby discussion I think nothing ever stay the same, life is a succesion of changes, things always change or they take the risk of going stagnant. But like another poster mentioned you could always tell Ryota that you'll have a baby after your wedding, honey moon and all included, simple give-and-take.

  15. Ok, for the cause! Show your tits!

  16. Let's aim for 50!

    Oh and I don't know if you believe in signs (I don't, but whatever) but while I was reading this someone said in a podcast I'm listening to "and they did a study and found people who had a lot of kids were the least happy" I feel like that's worth noting.

  17. I know you have read my recent post (since you commented!)- Don`t do it. Don`t have another baby! Unless you can give away the older one.

    Ryota wants another one? I can send you Noah! He would be a great playmate for Ash. I promise.

    The other day my husband googled how to keep my boobs big. Seriously. I stopped breastfeeding Noah but was already pregnant with Shion but still my boobs looked all grandmaish.....up until I got pregnant with Noah the entire time I was with Shun I had been on the pill (hence bigger boobs) then got pregnant (still biggish boobs) then breastfeeding (biggish boobs) but then up until I had Shion they shrunk. Now kinda biggish. Hub thinks I should continue breastfeeding Shion til kindy......

  18. no more babies! - and that coming from a father of five.

    I wont't pretend I am not making this comment to partake in the booby-countdown. Quick, girl, get it over with already, aye.

  19. har har I am suprised Bad Boy isn't double posting. (Suddenly Corrie's coments were all anno. from the same ip address!)
    2 is more like 2 and ahalf.

  20. For the heck of it.. almost halfway there! haha
    I can't even imagine having a kid, let alone 2. Or more. I love my nieces in nephews, it's almost like having kids but i only have to take care of them every so often and can give them back at the end of the day and enjoy life for myself. Kudos to you though for being supermum and superbusinesswoman! I'm sure some day i will end up with a (n accidental) child tho and then probably want more..

  21. I don't think those are selfish reasons for not having more kids. I'm trying to figure out if I ever will. I feel like I am barely holding it together as it is.

    The plus side to smallish boobs is that you can wear button-down shirts. And I think smaller boobs make a person look thinner.

  22. I have had a large bust ever since puberty set in (I recently lost 8 kilos and I am still an E cup in Japan. Bastard genetics). It really isn't that great because unless your boobs are fake, they succumb to gravity much quicker. Trust me, not attractive unless I wear a bra. I would kill for smaller boobs.

    As for the baby thing, absolutely not selfish to admit you don't want more kids. Large families aren't for everyone. My hubs keeps remarking that he would like 3 kids, but as soon as I ask if he is going to change the diapers, do the late night feedings, and be a primary caregiver, he changes his tune. Usually I don't even have to say more than "dirty diapers" before he changes the subject. :P

  23. I'm not a big fan of tits, but I just wanted to ask you if you're just really tall or if that door is for midgets?

  24. Hey :) Dont write a blog myself, but do enjoy reading blogs once in a while!

    but yeaah my boobs just got bigger.. cuz I gained weight.. So enjoy small tits! I miss my minimalistic tits and am working hard to get em back :D

  25. ha ha! torturing you by commenting simply to rack up the tally!

  26. haha omg, i think you might end up getting that many comments ;)
    well, me and my sister are only like 11 months and some days apart (not even a full year,& yo thats not fair cuz im older, but get no power) but MY ideal age difference for whenever(if ever)I have kids would be no more than 7 years apart...but i still would want one at least 3 or 4 years older than the other so it would buy the other shit i wouldn't want to! LOL

  27. lol. well.. having another baby would make your boobs bigger... lol!

    i enjoyed this post :p the first part made me go "aww" and then the rest, although i'm feeling terribly broody myself, i could kinda nod my head along to going "huh-huh". it's totally understandable you don't want another kid right now, and nobody could blame you for waiting a while, even if some of your reasons are selfish.. besides, there's no forcing these things.. when it'll happen, it'll happen!!

  28. many comments... we only have one daughter and don't feel guilty about it because she has so many cousins and friends already. plus you have to worry about higher education. your call totally. :-)

  29. I don't think it's selfish at all. Two children isn't like lots of people say, "not that much different from one". It's more than twice as hard. And finances have to be considered, especially here in Japan, re. Education especially. The boob thing. As you put yourself out with the fifty posts thing, I'll stump up and say the poster who mentioned Richard and Judy is right. I was measured as a 36D for years, until I found Bravissimo, and am now wearing a 30G...Now get yer tits out!

  30. 19 more comments and Corrine's boobs will be used for my personal sexual gratification!!

    Come on people

  31. You really want big tits?? I for one would love to have smaller boobs. Since they look so peachy...

    ...I'm basing these opinions on seeing smaller chests on fully dressed women. view au naturelle.

  32. Dude, my boobs and the rest of my body is a shambles. God, I nursed for a year and my poor rack is a slope.

    Anyhow, you are not alone is being afraid to have another baby. My husband and I spent years and thousands of dollars to have our son. At 14 months old we are just beginning to return to civilized life. As in, showers and food that is semi-hot and sleep. Our child is awesome, but quite...demanding. The idea of reliving another year of forty minutes of consecutive sleep and four loads of laundry a day and doing all that while chasing our son? Hold me.

  33. Boobs Please! them for "you know what!" That would sell itself. Very little promo necessary! lol

  34. Did someone mention boobies?

  35. Charlotte: Hey I dont wanna have A baby yet, even though we'd be perfectly able to support and raise a kid, simply because me and my man are content with being selfish, having a good night sleep and what not :)

  36. Commenting! haha show us your shameful photo.
    I am amazed that you even have ONE kid and still have your brain intact - I wouldn't even want that many. Live your life and don't worry about what people might think about you not wanting to have more. Your reasons are all 100% valid!