I've learnt a LOT in the past year: About business, about Japanese marketing and how cute sells, about speaking Japanese, about how annoying my in-laws really can be, about myself, about teaching, about English, about juggling time and a whole lot of other crap that won't fit in my tiny brain so is sitting on standby in my left ear, ready to be fed in over the next few years!
I've had a truly great year, Ryota got a new (better) job, the school has never been in debt and is now making enough to give me a healthy salary. So a big FUCK YEAH! on that front!
I felt that I needed to celebrate with cake and made a cracker of a fresh cream and strawberry sponge yesterday in honour of the occasion. I've included pictures for all you closet Betty Crocker lovers!
I like baking, and I'm not all that bad at it, but the problem with being good at baking, is when you make something that gives you an instant orgasm when you bite in to it, is that you end up eating way too much of it yourself. Add spoon/beater/bowl licking and you have way too many calories that do not coincide with my plans to be super fit for my BFF's wedding and the skimpy bridesmaid dress that goes with it in August. So usually when I make sweets, I take them over to the in-laws and share them, not because I'm nice, just because I don't want to get too fat!!So yesterday I toddled over with my cake which looks exactly like a Birthday cake, and dog-fucker (who we still haven't really talked to since the Hokka ben incident) got all excited, not because the dog had a hard-on, but because she thought I'd made the cake for her. Ooops... I'd completely forgotten her birthday is tomorrow because, well, I really don't care!
She peered at it and said "Ehhhhh!? Did you make me a cake!?" And before it got too awkward or my instincts to lie kicked in I said "Ummmm, actually it's for the school, your birthday isn't till Friday!"
This fucks me right over as now I have to make a cunting cake for her tomorrow! Maybe I'll just save a piece of the school cake and give it to her...
It also leaves me with the dilemma as to what to get her. I don't really like her, but I'm like the birthday queen around here and seeing as though I'm the only one who makes a big deal about them always make a point to get everyone presents. (Plus, let's face it, I get loads of loot come my birthday in November)
I have no idea what to get her, I looked for a copy of the book, "How to stop fucking your dog and be a normal member of society" but they were all out... Any suggestions?!
cunt cake!
ReplyDeletematching outfits? make the cake out of dog food??
ReplyDeleteI'm with Gaijin Wife! Why don't you buy matching outfits for you, Ms. Dog-Fucker, her dog (the receiver) and Ash and then go out for a day out on the town!
ReplyDelete...oh and yeah, I didn't comment on that post just because of laziness, but pretty bizarre of her to be pissed of at you for the Hokka Hokka Ben-gate thing... But I guess she doesn't have the courage to be pissed off at granny.
lol at the last paragraph... :-)
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure what you should get her, but I want to see some more pictures of her. I really dont like cute girls, so its not sexual. Its the stories you tell of her, that make me laugh so much I need to reinforce the message with a pic. At least, thats what I hope it is, and not some latent animal loving of my own. One with the dog would be great if you could get it.
ReplyDeleteMaybe you could buy her a...wait a minute, i will just check the internet...oh shit I really wish I hadn't done that. For some reason I didnt expect to get graphic images of "dog dildo's" or be taken to forums where people discuss the various types that they like. That is some seriously screwed up shit!
Your on your own with this one.
Oi
ReplyDeleteFind her a hot Korean guy that'd be willing to f*ck her. If that's not really possible put a paper bag over her head and send her to Chris xD.
....Actually
Forget about the paper bag, it's Chris we're talking about xD
...oh yeah and instead of cake make her bean rice.
ReplyDeleteAnd then make a big cunting deal out of it, like how you made it all "special"!
Kimura sex doll!
ReplyDelete"How to stop fucking your dog and be a normal member of society" but they were all out... " Yeah i bet that's a best seller in these parts lol. How about "How to bake cunting cake for ingrates in minutes" I think the publisher is Ginza bakery (-;
ReplyDeleteyou could make matching doggie and her cakes with kimura;s face on them and either write dog lover/fucker on top in pink swirly writing . OR you could write it under a layer of icing in a truly passive aggressive style. get bad boy to deliver....
ReplyDeleteDog Poo Cake!
ReplyDeleteMatching outfits and dildos for her and the dog. And a blow up KimTaku doll. That lot would keep her out of your hair for weeks, possibly months, think how busy she would be!
ReplyDeleteJust buy a cake. Don't go through all that time and expense of making her one. Making one is too personal and unless you plan on covering it in dog jizz, she probably won't like it.
ReplyDeleteDid I go too far? Maybe but she is the Dog Fucker after all. ^_^
No suggestions except maybe matching outfits for her and the dog- cos you know, that would rock and all! haha
ReplyDeleteCongrats on the year to LINK! Well done!
ps: Saw your post at Locohama`s- NICE!