Go on! Guess!!! (this isn't the quiz by the way)
No? No? Anyone? Bueller?
Ok, I'll tell you!
Him: wow, this a really good photo of you, you look beautiful! Like a model...
Me: (snorts on the outside but actually feels all warm and gooey on the inside because it has been that fucking long since he has said anything to make me feel even close to good)
Him: ...it doesn't look like you at all in real life, what software did you use!?!?
And now for your quiz ladies and gents!
How would you react in this situation?? Considering this conversation also took place ON OUR ACTUAL WEDDING ANNIVERSARY??
a) Go the J-way and cover your mouth with your hand in an embarrassed giggle and say "oh yes master, my wonderful husband, you are so very right, I am so hideous and not worthy of you!" and proceed to go wipe his bum for him.
b) Laugh it off and say "you're a cock jockey!" and give him a playful slap.
c) Tear him a new mouth/ arsehole and say "you better be leaving this house right now mother fucker!" and smash a fish tank or similarly heavy object over his head before shoving him out the door and promptly locking it.
I went for b) but a tiny part of me fantasised about c). Wouldn't have been fair to the poor fishies though...