Go on! Guess!!! (this isn't the quiz by the way)
....
.....
No? No? Anyone? Bueller?
Ok, I'll tell you!
Him: wow, this a really good photo of you, you look beautiful! Like a model...
Me: (snorts on the outside but actually feels all warm and gooey on the inside because it has been that fucking long since he has said anything to make me feel even close to good)
Him: ...it doesn't look like you at all in real life, what software did you use!?!?
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And now for your quiz ladies and gents!
How would you react in this situation?? Considering this conversation also took place ON OUR ACTUAL WEDDING ANNIVERSARY??
Would you:
a) Go the J-way and cover your mouth with your hand in an embarrassed giggle and say "oh yes master, my wonderful husband, you are so very right, I am so hideous and not worthy of you!" and proceed to go wipe his bum for him.
b) Laugh it off and say "you're a cock jockey!" and give him a playful slap.
c) Tear him a new mouth/ arsehole and say "you better be leaving this house right now mother fucker!" and smash a fish tank or similarly heavy object over his head before shoving him out the door and promptly locking it.
Soooooo?
I went for b) but a tiny part of me fantasised about c). Wouldn't have been fair to the poor fishies though...
I have come to the conclusion that it has been socialized into many Japanese that they struggle to give a pure, unmitigated compliment, ESPECIALLY to the people they care about. Probably you have heard the accusative phrase "お世辞ですか" - well that is something sycophants do to curry favour with people you don't give a crap about. You apparently can't trust the word of someone who (only) blows sunshine up your ass.
ReplyDeleteI suppose if I was to think deeply about the kind of society Japan is, was, and why such a attitude was/is needed, I could come up with something meaningful, but frankly it wouldn't change the fact it really gets on my nerves too. Seriously, if I put myself down I get more love. (I am not suggesting you start doing that because, I don't know if your husband is even that sensitive!!)
But, it is a nice photo :-)
It is a fabulous photo and you are looking hot. It's a shame he couldn't have just stopped while he was ahead! That said, I do love this software. Lulu uses this a lot for pics of Noah and Shion. Is it on your phone?
ReplyDeleteGlad the fishes survived. It probably wasn't worth the mess of cleaning it all up anyway! Bloody well would have knocked some sense into him though.
xxx
ok, time for some tough love.
ReplyDeleteI can already see all the gaijin mamas hitting you with comments like "oh, such a Japanesy thing" and blablabla.
I call bullshit.
Yes, traditional Japanese culture (whatever that may be) does not call for touching in public or men sweet-talking like their pussyficated counterparts in the West, but still. I have seen great Japanese or mixed couples, where the love is literally oozing out of their pores, regardless of the cultural restraints.
Meaning?
A jerk is a jerk. Period.
If I had known you in real life I'd have told you: (wo)man the fuck up - set some things straight now, and if that still doesn't work, pack your bags and GTFO.
/end rant
oh, and thanks for the inviting sluttyness in the prior comment ;-) I'm on my way once I've got this lovely thing out of the oven.
ReplyDeleteMaybe the way we read things while half-asleep reveals a lot about how we think. Your "c" option was misread without seeing the fish tank part. So when the eyes got down to the "not fair to the poor fishies" bit...I was thinking, she's not going to do a 'Scott Peterson'...is she? (Okay, offee break is over)
ReplyDeleteI would choose "c" ...surprise right ;)
ReplyDeleteYou look gorgeous...I wonder if he was playing with you? Is it possible it was just a joke?
You need to add an option for a slow painful death that can not be traceable back to you. That's the one I choose. Just kidding... or maybe not.
ReplyDeleteThat sounds like something one of those "pickup artists" would say while wearing a douchey hat. I usually poke a little bit of playful fun at the girls I'm with, but I don't think that I'd ever say something quite like that.
ReplyDeleteGood job on reacting with choice B though.
I'm wondering if maybe he was trying to make a (terrible) joke. My husband is very very guilty of that, so when I get mad at him, his defense is always "It was only a joke..!" to which I reply with shunning him for the rest of the day Lol
ReplyDeleteMaybe he learned his lesson this time around though and will just stop when he's ahead the next time. :)
d) Tell him that I am hurt and make him feel very very very guilty for making such a heartless comment on such a special day.
ReplyDeleteUsually I get some chocolate or present out of it. Being hurt has its advantages sometimes.
Love the filter I am addict to instagram !
Firstly, it is a gorgeous photo. Second, he's an idiot. Culture or no culture, pay a compliment, reaps the rewards. He really doesn't get how that works, does he?
ReplyDeleteMy hubby does this all the time. Just because we've known each other for 32 years. We grew up as friends together. So I just call him an arsehole and he laughs and tell me, "but no seriously, you look fantastic but you always do anyway." But that's us. Can I just say, I think you care about him..I mean he IS the father of your son. So if you care about him then just be yourself and tell him to stop those fucking comments unless he follows them up with some nice ones. I know you have no problem telling him to fuck off. I don't believe in making him feel guilty or using the silent treatment. Your hubby has got to be your friend too. Be upfront, don't take no bullshit and love him even when he's stupid. Especially when he's stupid because who else will?! ^_^
ReplyDeleteAnyway, that's how I see thing; right or wrong. Oh and yeah..you DO look fantastic!
Some people are just oblivious, but maybe he was trying to make a joke, like others have said.
ReplyDeletehmm i would also have laughed and been like "you coulda stopped at the first line!" BUT yeah, don't worry a lot of my male friends are like this too,to their girlfriends or even just girl friends...maybe because they don't see it as an insult (maybe even some see it as a complement *shudder*)
ReplyDeleteI liked BiggerInJapan's comment that he has seen couples where "love is literally oozing out of their pores." True! Once my husband and I were at a party with other foreign wives/Japanese husbands and one of the teenaged daughters was observing us and suddenly burst out with, "I know what it is, you really LIKE each other!" Yes, indeed, we do. If I had a tail it would wag uncontrollably every time I saw my husband, because I actually like him. Why do I feel this is rare in Japan?
ReplyDeleteHow my wifewould have reacted?
ReplyDeleteShe would have gone into "protect thy self" mode and start mocking me in some issue I have...
But then again I would have never said that, unless I was just kidding and picking a funny fight with her just to see her mad :P
i'd have gone with b) too... sometimes guys just don't know when too keep their mouth shut and then just go ahead ruining a good thing. eh.
ReplyDeleteWhat a mean thing to say :(((
ReplyDeleteI think it's a beautiful picture <3
My Ex was very hyper-critical with me too, telling me he didn't like my ~shoes~. At least I wear them!!!
Those comments hurt and some people just don't realise how lucky they are until what they had is gone. I hope your darling husband realises he has a beautiful, amazing wife quickly <3