Friday, 22 October 2010

I'm lucky...

To have a MIL just as crazy as me.

You know, I still have daily thoughts of pushing SIL under a bus but I am glad I have crazy MIL, she's a really nice, generous person who is very similar to me in a lot of ways. One of those ways is... gimmicky diets...

I'm usually pretty sensible, I don't buy steak knives or proactive from infomercials (despite the proactive ad being on at least 22 hours a day here!), I'm rational in my purchases, I think long and hard if I really need something, especially if it's a big item. I do this for all products, apart from diet/ exercise stuff..


Duh! Like the rest of the female population- I want to be thin. Not bony thin, but thin enough that I don't have a thigh that may be mistaken for a tumour. Which is pretty ridiculous because according to my last health check I'm perfectly healthy, I jog pretty much every day without fail, my cholesterol levels are within normal range... All signs point to me doing things pretty much right. But alas, thin is still the optimum, even for us house wives who don't really have anyone to impress. (Except the hot monk...)

I rarely go through with the purchases, I've been very close to buying diet pills or weight loss tea from the TV but have resisted the urge. I have however bought various exercise related crap such as pedometers, rodeo boys, exercise balls and lots of other stuff which usually ends up collecting dust but never really any dieting pills. That all changed today....

I am now on the "doctor diet." I think it's the same as when you see the ads at home that say "talk to your doctor about a weight loss plan..." or whatever. It was at a plastic surgery clinic (I enquired about a boob job while I was at it!!) in a very rich area of Kobe where all the women look like lollipops anyway so was a little intimidating for the pudgy gaijin and her equally pudgy MIL to waddle in trying to hide their shame-filled faces. The doctor was young, too young for my liking, I suspect botox, and lots of it! But he was nice, he said it was good that MIL and I were doing it together, it was good for motivation. He would say that though, we are paying for his weekly botox jabs I guess...

Anyway, deal is, I get a tenteki (IV drip) once a week and every time I go I get a week's worth of medicine: The 'fat' pill, the one that makes you run to the ladies room with not a hope of pressing the noise disguising button because any oily food you've eaten will come gushing out your bum hole at an alarming rate, a little white pill, I'm not sure what this one does but I'm only allowed to take it for 2 months because it's highly addictive... Slightly worrying... And some natural herbal medicine that tastes like arse but makes you feel uber full so you don't want to eat. It may be the placebo effect but it's already working today! I've only eaten a banana and a piece of toast all day and seriously feel really full!

It's pricey, not ridiculous, but not cheap either, but I figure all this working has got to lead to some goodies for me some time. If it gets to be too expensive I can always quit after this month... right? Right. I've decided to keep the whole thing a secret for as long as I can from Ryota because he'll say I'm a dickhead, (and I know he'll be right!) so anyone who actually knows me (probably only you Sassymoo!) keep it on the down and low, yoroshiku onegaishimasu! We should have kept it a secret from Grandma too I think, as we left for the clinic today she was yelling all sorts of things from the veranda like, "You're a stupid stupid girl, and you're no better!!!" (directed towards me and MIL), and "I'll tell Ryota, I swear I will!!!" There is a good chance Ryota will find out, either by Grandma sabotage or by accidental slips, plus there's a mark from the IV on my arm, but I figure if he does find out I'll do what any good wife would do... lie.



  1. ok-I'm going to play older but loving oneesan...and careful. the only way to really lose weight is to reduce the number of calories you eat (burn more than your intake) and exercise. Eat the right foods and watch your intake of liquids - they can hold lots of calories. I recently lost 22 lbs but it was a lot of work. A lifestyle change is the only real answer to lasting weight-loss and better health. Ok- sorry-that was a lecture wasn't it? I don't want to see you make yourself ill or worse....hugs and ganbatte

  2. I dunno, if there's needles involved, I'd have to pass on the diet plan myself. Me and needles are not on a very friendly terms. As the first poster suggested, be careful and stuff.

  3. You guys worry too much! But thanks... :)
    If I faint or something I promise I'll quit!

  4. OMG it sounds pretty much like a doctor I went to for a while in Melbs. Apparently he had a back door for all the celebs that didn't want to be recognised in the waiting room! I got a needle though, not a drip. Never knew what was in it. Plus speed style tablets and some other crap to take. I lost weight fast (and put it again as fast) and apparently was a complete bitch to everyone while I was doing it. I ended up quiting and keeping the speedy pills for recreational fun.

  5. I wouldn't entirely agree that the "only" way to losing weight is reducing your calorie intake. Cause let's face it we've all been there: you start off with 1500 and go lower and lower every time the weight isn't shifting, until you're all starved hardly feeding yourself 800 calories a day. Let's not forget the yoyo effect and hunger pangs that usually follow diets like these. Personally I'm on the Montignac method (low GI foods) I don't count any calories I eat till I’m full and in 2 months I've managed to lose 7 + 4kgs of stubborn fat that's been stuck with me since I was 14. I've dragged my mum to try it out too and after years of trying, she finally managed to solve her high blood pressure issues. Not to advertise or anything, I just wanted to say that as someone that's been on and off low calorie diets and exercising regularly it was an eye opener to see just how much food out there advertised as "healthy" (i.e. rice among others) and "low on calories" is actually really, really bad for you. I do agree however losing weight and trying to stay thin requires changing our food habits PERMANENTLY.

    But anyway, hope you're being careful
    (your loyal lurker)

  6. Is the fat pill Xenical/Alli (Orlistat)? Be careful passing gas! Ha!!

  7. @ anon above- the only proven way to lose weight and keep it off is to exercise, reduce your food portions (therefore calories) and eat healthy foods not junk. When reducing your calories/portions commonsense must be used. Obviously if you eat more calories than you burn you will get fat-3,500 calories equals one lb of fat. It's not rocket science. Most of those excess calories come from meals that are way too large. A person should never eat only 800 cal. a day-very unhealthy. I do not diet-at all. Diets do not work -it has been proven that diets actually make female fat cells more stubborn. You may lose weight initially-but in the long run will gain even more back afterward. You need to alter your lifestyle. Learning what foods fill you up and are good for you also helps to avoid hunger pangs. If you are hungry then obviously you are not eating the right kinds of foods-natural whole grains, vegetables with plenty of fiber... It has been proven that most Westerners eat portions that are far too large. Do some research. They also consume far too many empty calories in their beverages-take "Starbucks" for example, sodas etc..This is something I have researched for years and actually know something about about as I wrote a thesis on this subject. In order to lose weight it helps to understand the workings of the female "fat cell" also. Men lose weight faster because of the way their body metabolizes. If you want to be healthy (versus just plain skinny) it is hard work. We get older and lose bone density, muscles waste away...proper nutrition, exercise, portion control and knowledge are your key-NOT fad diets of any kind. You will greatly suffer the consequences in your elder years. Trust me-this is something I learned the hard way and it almost killed me. I am now a healthy, trim 49 year old vegetarian and have never felt better in my life. I recently lost 22 lbs-those lbs were gained from being lazy, eating way to large a portion and the wrong kinds of food. I entered menopause and everything went topsy turvy with my eating habits. Back on track now. Quite honestly, this is something I have put years and years of study into - it was a side interest in nursing school.

  8. P.S. the Montignac diet has been proven to be too high in fat to be healthy in the long term, which could weaken the cardio-vascular system. Low in carbs and sugars, which will leave you tired. It also offers no exercise guidelines. Proper balance, exercise (to strengthen bones and muscles) from sensible eating habits is what is needed.

  9. please keep in mind, that every diet doesn't work for everyone. even the 'reduce calories and exercise more' one. :D

  10. I really don't want to turn this into some sort of war and on someone elses blog, because as I see it we do agree on most accounts. I simply dislike to regard my nutrition in terms of calories because as I already said it turns me into a starved nutcase. I've recently learned that the female body starts producing new fat cells every time the body is in starvation mode. And we all know about fat cells - they don't go away (or they do renew themselves every 7 years or so as the newer research show) . I use the Montignac method more as a guideline than the actual diet bible.It did help me see certain mistakes I made in the past.However I don't advocate eating foods that are too high in fat esp. saturated - that's just common sense. Personally I perfer fish and chicken over "heavier meats" and olive oil instead of other cooking fats. I do not advocate using fructose or any kind of artificial sweteners as one should also be careful with dairy products (newer studies show that milk can actually cause osteoporosis).As for exercise I train volleyball and I run farely regularely. I have a history of diabetes in my family thats one of the reasons why I started to watch my sugar and starch intake. I refuse to regard my body as a steaming train tho (what you consume< what you exercise out) because our bodies are just NOT THAT SIMPLE.I know Ill just trigger another avalanche of accusations but the fact remains the same- calorie diets are simply unsuccesful in the long run. Why? Because it's difficult to embrace the new eating habits because they constantly make you hungry ( and yes I've been hungry on 1700 cal diets as well) I've seen it with my own eyes and Im sure Im not the only one: Some people can eat all kinds of foods and not get fat (and not justmen, I know plenty of women who are like this as well)- most of us are not that lucky. If you only knew what we euros ate (and still eat) for food in the past you'd have a heart attack just from looking - pork blood sausage anyone+ potatoes cooked with chunks of preboiled pork lard anyone? Yet people didn't get fat.I live in Slovenia ( that's in central europe) People regularly ate this kind of food 30-50 years back yet there was hardly any obesity or diabetes. Yes maybe you could argue that the worked harder but trust me no one can work THAT hard as to loose about 4000 calories that they consumed in their daily intake. Nations that are switching from organic to processed foods report that their population is rapidly increasing in mass (China , most of Western Europe more and more Eastern Europeans as well) - and we all know there are millions of food products out there that are "low" on calories. Yet people consuming them get more and more fat. Calorie diets have not worked out for me in the past. Cutting out industrial/processed foods from my nutrition, exercising regularly eating homgrown organic foods (which I am lucky to have) combining them properly, eating at regular hours/in normal ammounts and being careful about my sugar intake has. That's all Im saying. Or in of a more new age hippie kind of way: everybody should just stop cracking numbers and simply start listening to your body because it's something you need to be careful about for the rest of your life. Look at that plate of nice fresh greens and deliciously prepared fish or whatever and make peace with that. THE END

    Kaja from Slovenia :)

  11. Thanks for all the stats guys! I think this is one of those things that everybody can never agree on, just a different way of looking at things.

    P.S. War away, makes my Saturday much more interesting!! ;)


    just for you Corinne dear!

  13. I think kaja needs a bit of kava or St. John's wort to calm down little does she know we are actually on the same - glad I could make your Saturday a bit more interesting Corine-personally I'd like to hear more cat fucker stories....!

  14. Anything involving needles freaks me out. Actually, maybe the sight of the needle would make me crap myself and that would lead to weight loss. Anyway, be healthy.