Thursday 28 October 2010

Why, yes, I'll take a side of (fat free) smugness with my karma!

I thought it was about time for a dog-fucking SIL update, things have been way too quiet on that front.

So after the massive blow-out we had that never really came to any head, things were pretty much stagnant. At least at home you can hug and have a giggle about the 'whole stupid argument,' but this is Japan, where hugging is strictly forbidden and giggling would be to bring shame and embarrassment to the emperor and all that he stands for! Well, not quite, but definitely in Ryota's family, there is no making fun of situations like this, (I mean fuck, look what happened when I took the piss out of Kimutaku!!) and certainly no hugging. (Ryochan excluded)

I basically just resigned myself to the fact that I HAVE to live close to her for however many years, so no matter how annoying she got, and also for Ryota's sake, I'd try and just ignore or be pleasant. This was going well, except it wasn't back to normal, I was reluctant to go over to the in-laws' place and it was super tense if we were left in the vicinity of each other for even a short amount of time. I guess it did just take time though, because we got to the point where it wasn't that awkward and I didn't feel like smacking her in the mouth every time I saw her.
I even went as far as to extend the old olive branch when she was practicing for her driving test, the night before the test I took her to our car park and practiced her reverse parking.
She is/was a horrible driver and spent a record amount of lessons at driving school, (seriously, the school told her she had taken more lessons than any other person her age!) but by some miracle she passed her practical test. I fear for my safety on the roads now, she's the worst kind of driver in that she's 1) Panicky 2) Indecisive and 3) Has no sense of direction or balance. But, the drivers here are pretty slow and tame so I think she'll just fall into the 'stupid old obachan' category of bad drivers without too many problems.

Anyway, the practical test was last week and then all she had to do was pass the written test to be able to drive. Now, I'm not saying I wanted her to fail (well maybe a bit) but I was neither surprised or heartbroken when MIL told me she had bombed on it. To be fair to her everyone who has done it says it's a bit of a bitch and you need to get 85% right so it was nothing that unusual. That was on Tuesday. Then they decided so the questions and the system and everything would be fresh in her mind, that they'd go again today and have another go. Everyone was so sure that it was just nerves the first time, and that she was bound to pass today, I mean, she'd seen the questions after all, MIL even went as far as to organise going out for sushi tonight with everyone.

Damn it, I just felt like some sushi too!

Yup, she failed. Do I feel sorry for her? Nah, she had it coming! OK harsh, but she should have studied more, those tests cost money, (that MIL/Grandma is paying) plus the testing centre is about an hour and a half drive from our place. I don't know when she's going to try again, perhaps tomorrow but I have to say I did have a giggle when MIL told me. Everyone is on strict orders to not 'mention the war,' the war being that she is a dumb arse who should have spent less time fondling her dog while gazing at Kimutaku posters and more time studying! So will be interesting when Ryota hears the news and starts giving her a lecture on what she did wrong in his usual big brother fashion. Ooooo maybe they'll be more fireworks..... (not involving me)

In other news I went back to the 'diet doctor' doctor today and he was well impressed with my 2kg weight loss and 4cm belly loss, as was I! He even did a gay little clapping gesture and told me I did much better than MIL (lucky she wasn't there!) I got my second IV and my meddy and trotted off with the urge to smack my own arse in celebration but restrained myself. This week will be a test, there's a Halloween party at the school where I plan to make cupcakes, and my birthday on Wednesday where there's bound to be cake. Actually, now I think about it, unless I make the cake for my birthday I doubt any other bastard will bother, problem solved!


  1. I always heard if you went to driving school then you were guaranteed to pass the driving test. Even for us gaijin, I have even considered it considering American licenses don't convert. Well neither here nor there, your SIL Is a special breed.

    For your bday, I think you deserve a cake or two and maybe some yakiniku!! Happy bday early! I'll have a beer or two to celebrate, maybe a cake too. Really any reason to celebrate is a good day

  2. I can absolutely see taking some pleasure from SIL's misfortunes. But I'm kinda mean like that sometimes myself. ;)

  3. "He even did a gay little clapping gesture..." LOLjust imagining that made me laugh so hard.

    @ your SIL, man that weirdo really reminds me of me when I was suffering from depression. Everything you describe about her really hits close to home for me (tho I never developed dog fucking tendencies LOL). I feel sad for her,... sort of,... sometimes. Not saying you have to or anything. The good thing also is she might snap out of eventually.

    I'm glad that you're happy with your diet, gay doctor and all.