As I may have mentioned on this blog before, I am NOT a maternal person, I don't tear up when Ash does something cute, I didn't 'bond' with him when he was breastfed (how much bonding can go on when there's a mini-human sucking your tit?!), I don't have a desire to have 6 more kids, I'd rather work all day than stay home and look after ankle-biters,. I'm just not a lovey- dovey mummy. Which is funny, because I always thought I would be! But my cynical skewed view just gets in the way.
Meh, what can you do, I don't starve the kid or anything!
In saying all this, today was the proudest moment of my whole mummy career, I was so fucking proud I did almost cry.
Today was the undokai (sports day) at Ash's kindy. And despite my proud moment, it wasn't for the usual undokai shenannigans. The usual proud moment comes as little Tommy-hiro takes the baton and does his relay run, or as little Sarah-ko does her practiced dance steps perfectly. To be quite honest, all that contrived crap doesn't interest me at all. Yeah, I take the pictures and I clap, but on the inside I'm thinking about what to have for lunch or saying to myself in my head 'Fuck me, how much longer do I have to stay!?'
Sports festivals in Japan are so rehearsed, and practiced every day for months, it's like all the fun is sucked out of it, and the opening dance was a perfect example, kids doing pre-learned, "cute" dance moves, all moving in perfect lines, all with shoulders slumped. OK, wasn't quite that dramatic, kids were actually happy that their parents were there watching them, but still, there was no spontaneity or creativity going on.
As Ash's class trotted out holding hands with everyone 'Ooooo-ing' and 'Ahh-ing' at how cute they were, they all had the precision walking going on too. Even at a year old, these kids can be programmed to be little lemmings! After a little dance, it was time for them to get on little toy cars and ride over to a jungle gym course that they were going to do little displays on. They all rode over on the cars, then like good little lemmings, they all got off and lined up to do the jungle gym course. All perfect. All as rehearsed.
All except one...
Yes, my son parked his little bum on that toy car and refused to get off for the lame jungle gym course, there was no lemming style shit going on for him. The teachers let him ride around on the little car for a while but when ALL the other little cars had been safely tucked away in their spots and ALL the other kids were on to the ball bit rotation, a teacher went over and tried to get Ash off his little car, and do you know what he did? I couldn't hear him but I could definitely see him, shake his head, clamp on to the bike and say "NOOO!!!!" God bless him, the only thing that would have made me prouder is if he had told her to shove off and given her the finger.
All the other mums were laughing at his defiance and the other kids were calling him over to the ball pit, and of course I played the embarrassed mother role, but inside I really was cheering that my strong-willed kid was not just following suit and doing as everyone else did. Of course when this behaviour shines through in his rebellious teenage years I'm sure I won't be quite as happy...
But for now, thank you son, for making me the proudest mummy at the undokai, I'm glad I actually went now!
The only thing that got him off the car in the end was the promise ofchocolate if he got off...
Again, you've done me proud son.