Monday 2 August 2010

Ohhhhh, so that's why I have (insert sickness here)

Duh! Being foreign was the problem all along!

Got a cold? Foreign!
Got piggy flu? Definitely foreign!
Got a fungal foot disease- Foreign! Foreign! Foreign!!!

I happen to have sinusitis, which happens to be the most mother fucking painful son of a cock in the history of man. I felt like I had a big hurty ball of pain on the right of my forehead which was all swollen and hurt to touch. But being a sucker for pain, I kept poking it anyway! Big mistake, the more you poke the more tears spring to your eyes.
If I hadn't had sinusitis before I seriously would have thought it was a tumour of some description, looking at light hurt, computer screen hurt, talking hurt. Was awful.

But seeing as though I've had sinusitis before, I know it's not a tumour but actually a massive ball of infected mucus stuck in your sinus, and I also know it never gets better without meds so the quicker you get to the docs the better.

So, in between lessons on Saturday morning, off I went to my local ear nose and throat geezer. The doctor on Thursday afternoons is very very good looking so I always try and aim for Thursdays but Saturdays is Doctor Panda, because, well he looks like a big cuddly panda with a gimpy eye, but he's nice enough. Anyway, I told him it was that old familiar pain of sinusitis but he gave me an x-ray just to be sure to suck all the money he could out of me and possibly to justify the reason he gave me for actually having sinusitis again...

DR PANDA: Ahhhhh, yes, you're right, there is a big ball of white stuff here... It will probably spread to your cheeks quite soon...

ME: (Thinking, 'hmmmm comforting, cheek pain too, goody!') Oh... Is there a reason I get sinusitis so much do you think? (I was thinking more along the lines of too much air con or not enough snot blowing or something...)

DR PANDA: Errr, ummm, yes! There is a reason!! Foreigners have longer sinusey boney thingies so are far more susceptible to getting it!!! Us Japanese have extremely small squished bones, no room for infected mucus in our tiny heads!

No shit, he actually said that was the reason I kept getting sick! What the fuck!?

But as I said, Dr Panda is nice enough and the meds he give me always work, plus he gives me double strong pain killers because he knows Japanese medicine is always too weak for a strapping foreign lass like me, soooooo I'll forgive him and his Mickey mouse medical degree!


  1. Hah! If I had only known this information earlier. I actually got sinusitis too when I was there. I guess I know the reason why I got it now is because I'm a foreigner. ;) Who'da thunk it.

    I hope you feel better soon! I know it can be a bitch. :(

  2. You gotta wonder why they need ENTs then, since their little bones are so small they don't get sinusitis! Did you stop to ask the clever Dr. why the vast majority of big-nosed foreigners DON'T get sinusitis?? Unfortunately, I'm not one of the majority, although I do leave it a few days to see if it'll go away by itself, and it does sometimes.