Was sitting at the school doing some work last night at about 8:30 when the door opened. Of course, after weeing my pants a little bit and turning down the Britney Spears that was blaring, I discovered it wasn't a random Obachan, nor a wanking mental boy, but... dahhh dummm. A GAIJIN!!!
What the hell man!? You're not supposed to come and talk to me, it's written in the gaijin code that we are to all ignore each other unless introduced by a mutual friend. After I got over the initial gaijin shock I had to deal with the fact that I was dressed in my sleeping get-up which consists of: no bra, singlet, stripey pants, socks, (yes, even in this heat, I have a thing about dirty feet *eye ticks*) and grandma's old green plastic slippers. (You all know the ones!) I had also just had a shower so was working the 'drowned rat' hairstyle and panda eyes from not washing my make-up off properly. He must have thought I was some kind of scrubber gaijin who had somehow washed up in our little town.
Can I just say, it was so fucking awkward. With no Britney going it was totally silent, and I honestly just did not know what to say. The first thing that popped into my mind was Captain Awkward, if I may coin the term from Mr Salaryman. This dude has obviously been in Japan for as long as me because he was really lacking in the keeping the convo going skills, which is fine, but go home if you're not going to be chatty mother fucker, this is my school! I ended up just looking down at his business card that he'd given me and making random Japanese 'filler' noises like "Fuuuuuuunnnn" and "eeeeeehhh" for sheer lack of not knowing what else to say. Have my communication skills really sunk to the level of not knowing what to say to someone who speaks the same language as me and obviously has a lot in common with me!? Maybe it's because I was so unprepared, err, yeah, I'm sure that was it...
I'm contemplating locking the door of a night. Either that or posting a sign on the door that says, "Keep out dirty-blooded gaijin, go sniffing for stimulating conversations elsewhere!!"