So, on New Years Day, Ryota and I tramped over to the in-laws for dinner in the usual fashion. Ash had been pissing around there for a while before, letting me get the house organised, and letting him run trucks over Obaachan's head and other fun activities. As I shuffled in to the lounge room and was about to make small talk with whoever was in the room about how cold it was, I stopped dead in my tracks. "Samuu........." There, in front of me, was the dog-fucker. Cunt face. SIL. And right beside her, my son. MY son. In. Matching. Fucking. Jumpers.
Let me just say, before I go on, I hate matching things. If I have 2 kids, they will never be matching. If I have twins, or triplets, or quintuplets, they won't be matching. I don't match with Ryota, or the dog, or the furniture, or the weather. Matching, just no fucking no! Matching (or pair setto) is big in Japan, it's seen as cute if people are wearing the same thing. Sorry, not Japanese and not ever going to change on this one. Japanese couples are huge on it, pair setto rings and all that crap. Ryota made the mistake of buying us pair setto watches for Christmas and I said seeing as though I liked the watch I'd wear it but we were never to be seen in public both wearing our watches. He didn't get it.
The only matching shenanigans I will ever slightly approve of, are parents and kids, for example Ryota sometimes wears checked shorts and Ash SIMILAR ones, but even this makes me vomit a little. So when I saw SIL with Ash in a matching jumper (which actually says ROBUST but hats off to GW for the NOBUST comment, much more appropriate for SIL, not so much for Ash...) I choked a bit on my tongue and was actually at a loss of what to say except "Where the hell do they sell adult and baby matching shite!?" SIL then informed us that she is so scrawny and Ash is so tubby that they both fit in to children's sizes. Bitch! Skinny bitch!!!! She's really just asking me to hate her, no??
I was just going to leave the issue and then burn the jumper at a later date, but BIL actually did all the piss-taking for me...
BIL: Errrr, you're a fucking weirdo, why would you buy matching jumpers with Ash??
SIL: (Imagine whiny J-girl voice) Whhhhaaaaattt???? It's cuuuuuttttteeeee!!!!
BIL: No, it's fucking mental, (Ryota and I nod in agreement) if Corinne did it, it would be lame, but you doing it is just weird, HE'S NOT YOUR SON!!!!
SIL:.......... It's cuuuuutttttteeeee!!!!!!!
We all shook our heads and I silently thought to myself that I would not be letting Ash outside as long as he was wearing the ghastly thing. Who does she think she is!? Putting my son in an ugly jumper, then pair setto-ing herself to him without even consulting me!? I shudder at the very thought of him being a mini dog-fucker. I honestly do.
What's your take on the matching issue?? Is it 'cuuuuuuutttttteeeee?????' or just plain fucked up???