Friday, 30 July 2010


Woooooo it's been awhile since the fair land of the rising sun has warranted a ranty bitch on here, been too busy ranting about husbands and in-laws I guess.

So here's the deal- Next month, Ryota has his yearly health check-up for his job (he works for the city if you've just joined us). He will not go, he will fake a fever that day. Why?! I hear you cry... Because, if he attends this check-up, he will be fired.

Sound ridiculous?? Errr, yes. Why?? No, the love handles brought on by foreign wifey cooking won't get him fired, it is the fact that he has a tattoo, OK, two tattoos.

What fucking year are we living in again??

This 'anti-tattoo,' 'anti-facial hair,' 'anti-piercing,' 'anti- ANYTHING individual' rule really, really pisses me off, like so so much I get all flushed and red when I talk about it, this red face syndrome happened yesterday after Sassymoo and I were toying with the idea of going to the local pool and I had this conversation with MIL:

ME: I can't believe Japan is so fucking backward when it comes to things like tattoos... I don't want to wear 5 rolls of fucking sports tape to hide my tattoos!

MIL: Hmmmm but Japanese people associate tattoos with the yakuza so...

ME: How many years ago?? People KNOW tattoos don't mean yakuza anymore.

MIL: Yeah... It's pretty hard to change the Japanese way of thinking, Japanese people are pretty stupid!

She actually said that- 日本人はバカね!MIL is pretty awesome with things like that, she's not old school thinking at all, Grandma is very old school and basically told Ryota to go sleep in a rice paddy after she saw his tattoo for the first time.

So if Ryo-chan goes to his health check, he will fail on all accounts, facial hair- usually, yes. Piercings- Yes, well, the holes at least. Tattoos- yes. He gets a big fail in the fitting in with society boxes. And the tattoos aren't even visible, only when he gets his gear off for the doctor to 'moshi-moshi' him. Of course in a perfect world, even visible tattoos wouldn't be such a big deal, but I know that visible tattoos aren't accepted either, I'm cool with that, hence why I've held off getting the wrist to elbow tattoo I've wanted for so long, but I'm talking easy to cover tattoos that the public will never have to see.

Now personally, I'm encouraging him to go to the health check, get fired, and then sue the city's arse for it, it sounds ridiculous but a postman in Japan recently sued Japan post for firing him because he had a beard. (Read about this champion here!)And he won, and you know what, I want to find him and give his bearded face a big wet, sloppy kiss, because it's blokes like that hairy geezer who are going to change this god damn backward-arse country we're living in! If I go to the pool and kick up a discrimination stink with my mafia associated tattooed body, I will be seen as another crazy, hippy, obnoxious gaijin. But if a Japanese person does it, at least some people might pay attention.

OK, rant over but expect another one on the day of his health check when he's wasting one of his paid holidays on the fucked up system that encourages everyone to be lemmings.

P.S. Reading over that, I'm glad it's Friday, teeny tiny bit stressed me thinks!

Happy weekend!!!


  1. Not sure where his tattoo is, but if 'moshi moshi' menas squeezing the balls then they do not do that company health checks as far as i know.

    We also have an annual one and it is quite detailed, but we dont ever take off trousers.

    Tattoos are a bit lame though aren't they? I'd fire him for that reason rather than any yakuza connection.

  2. Jlpt2kyu- tattoos are shoulder and back so shirt will definitely be off. And tattoos may be lame, but my point is should we not be free to be as lame as we choose when it comes to our own body...?

  3. A little skin paint never hurt anybody. ;)

  4. That is plain ludicrous! Sometimes I am able to forget why I dislike Japan but then you had to go and throw this in my face! :P

    Honestly though, he should go to the checkup and sue the city. Start a whole new era in japan. Viva La Revolución!!

  5. Is there no way we could get your SIL's take on this? I feel that she hasn't gotten the attention she deserves lately, maybe you could create a corner for her here in the blog where she could let loose on various topics with her insightful analysis?

  6. I didn't get a telling off during the one health check I had when on JET where they stuck electrodes all over my chest and boobs. (had health checks every other year too until getting pregnant and I never had to take my top off again after that. My tattoo is only small though and for all I know my boobs rolled over it and it didn't even get noticed!!

    He can't not take a health check for ever. He should just go and see what they do. Can't tell completely but is the tattoo of a dragon?? Hmmmmm. Why don't you tell him to tape his little finger down when he goes in too and then he can just threaten them :)

    Would also be interested in SIL's take on this!!

  7. That is absolutely ridiculous. :-( Can't believe tattoos can result in people losing their jobs. One of my friends commented on FB this morning (about the story of Tokyo's oldest man actually having been dead for 30 years) that Japan is without doubt the weirdest country in the world. It is hard to find ammo to argue against his point when you live there!! ;-)

  8. It is because he works for the city though right? I think it is ridiculous that he can`t go to his health check because of his tattoos.

    If he worked for a different construction company it wouldn`t be an issue right? Or would it still be an issue?

    I remember when I joined a gym here I had to sign a clause saying I had no tattoos. And that I wouldn`t wear outside shoes inside the gym (I swear they made this one up just for the foreigners!) and it said they could cancel my membership if they ever found out I had one. Bloody hell!

    Shun doesn`t shave for work. His hair is too long and it used to be dyed and he never had issues. His mum and grandma always told him he would be because of his facial hair, long hair blah blah blah but nothing ever came of it.

    They did tell him to lose weight though. At 172cm he weighs 68kg....hardly overweight (personally a bit too skinny I think!) but that is Japan for you!

  9. Sucks about the tattoo business..I have a very large one on my lower back- been caught out a few times. Worst time was a new pool/spa thing I had taken my friend to here in Shikoku, my tatt was peeking out from the back of my bathers (think normal cross-back speedos) and was asked to leave. Went to management and complained, as there was no sign or anything. Got my money back and friends who went next time said there was a proper sign and all. At least it`s a step...

  10. My husband used to work as a postman in Hokkaido and he was forbidden to even have a moustache. Not the reason he left, but definitely the reason not to return. Thankfully Australia doesn't give a sh*t, (kind of a little bit too lax if you ask me) but much better than Japan. I can't see why facial hair is so offensive? It's a natural thing. Japan is so stupid sometimes.