Is a no-go.
Feeling incredibly lazy today, possibly the fact that it's 50 million degrees outside, or it may have more to do with the fact that Sassymoo has lent me the 1st season of supernanny and I'm totally addicted and am so in to it I feel like sending myself to the naughty step, apologising and giving myself a hug!
Supernanny has got me thinking about the whole discipline issue with Ash, I can see this will be our next battle and one that probably won't end for a long time. My first hurdle will be Ryota, but like a small dog, with repetition and explanation, he'll come round to my way of parenting. The real problems will be the in-laws. Am I talking about them again!?
It's already starting, yesterday Ash had pinched a wooden spoon from the kitchen and was banging the glass doors really fucking hard with it, like to the point where I was flinching because I thought the glass might break. Ryota wasn't around, just alien SIL, Grandma and me. And of course, nobody but me was willing to do anything to stop him. So after 'making eye-contact' and using a 'stern low toned voice to tell him to stop' (Ohhh Jo Jo would be so proud of me!!) he continued to bang so out of sheer concern that the glass really was going to break I took the spoon off him and sat on it. (Ha! No chance of getting spoony out from under this fat arse son! Hmmmm fat arse-ness does have some advantages!) Of course he had a fucking tanty as 1 and a half year olds do, but there was a million other toys there and I knew he'd take a minute to get over it and move on to destroying something else.
Grandma however, had different ideas. If the spoon wasn't hidden under my layers of blubber she would have given it back to him I'm sure, but instead she made a big deal of him crying (therefore enabling him to get attention when he throws a fucking wobbly). Alien also chimed in, picking Ash up and giving him cuddles and telling him how 'kawaisou' it was he'd had his spoon taken away.
I also caught her giving him fucking jelly lollies RIGHT before bed. Seriously, it was like 10:30 at night and she was feeding him pure sugar the big, skinny twat, I know she doesn't have kids and doesn't know any better but I have told them all specifically to not give him any snacks before meal time or before bed time. But my small, insignificant gaijin voice is all too often lost in this little part of the world. I shall persist though, if I say it enough times something will filter through, surely!?
MIL was also being a twat this morning, I took Ash to kindy in the car and as he struggled when I went to put him in his seat she told me that lately if she took him in the car (luckily this rarely happens) she puts him on the passenger seat next to her. I actually gave her a look that clearly said "you're a fucking moron." She saw the filthy look I threw her way as I strapped Ash in and was all, "Ahhh maybe it's not that good though, because then he'll get used to it..." Errr, yes, hence him having a hissy fit now you dickhead, not to mention the fact that if the car was to crash his fat little head would go straight through the windscreen! She said that she hadn't even thought of that. How the hell did her 3 kids survive!? Although Ryota almost drowned once when she wasn't looking and a stranger had to pull him out of the local pool, and any of you who know Ryota IRL know he has a massive scar down the middle of his forehead and nose from when he jumped through a glass cabinet in the hopes of transforming into superman...
Explains a lot now...
i would say sit them down and have a family supernanny marathon but there would be too many ehhhs and kawaisous drowning out the sound i suppose.
not looking forward to the tantrum stage that i should be expecting in +/- 6 months from now
Your in laws annoy the crap out of me and I've never even seen them! I'll totally be coming to you for advice if I ever have a toddler to manage. And if my mother in law comes to visit again.ReplyDelete
I think the in-law problem is a global thing. It's like some kind of grandmother-brain thing! Or maybe they don't want you being a better parent than they were.ReplyDelete
Sorry I promise, I'm not laughing at your expense--but that was a hilarious post!!!ReplyDelete
Your MIL isn't the most knowledgeable when it comes to child car seat safety, is she? Hahahah! Well here's hoping your day gets better and a little cooler. Peace!
Hi Corinne, Fascinating blog, love it. I recently read a book (for a course I was taking) "The Japanese Mind: understanding contemporary Japanese culture" By Roger J. Davies, Osamu Ikeno. When I read about your experiences the chapters 'Ikuji: Childrearing Practices in Japan' and 'Ryosaikenbo – “Good Wives and Wise Mothers”: The Social Expectations of Women in Japan' make SO much sense. Off the page. I would be more than happy to send you a copy if you like? If nothing else it might make you feel a little better about these encounters...let me know. Having read the book I am not at all surprised to read what you're going through! Gambatte ne! OliviaReplyDelete
Noo... stop watching supernanny, it really doesn't help!!! :-) I have to say that I just can't watch supernanny as much as she might be a "childcare expert", she doesn't have kids of her own and I think until you have lived the parental life, you can hyothethise and advise as much as you like but you will never ever understand how incredibly hard it is to get through days with a child who isn't doing what you want/need them to while also trying to balance your household/work/relationships etc.. Every time I watch her programme I just get angry!!ReplyDelete
But enough about that. I have to admit I often wondered how my ex and his brother made it to adulthood in my dealings with MIL (who was lovely but completely misguided and a total pushover!!) The lack of car seat common sense used to drive me crazy and people wondered why I never let my PILs have Joey for any length of time and the simple answer is that I just didn't trust them to follow my basic safety rules and I was too scared of the consequences!!
Ahh! My MIL tried to do the same thing with the front seat, and was shocked when I told her that was illegal in Oz. Craaaazy.ReplyDelete
Happily, in-laws live in the next prefecture, but as for the neighbours... One night my jet lagged son was insisting on watching a dvd at 10 pm. I was trying to get him back on local time, so stayed lying down on his bed while he stood at the foot of the stairs, weeping. He was unconsolable, so there was nothing to do but let him cry it out. Twenty minutes later the doorbell rang. 赤ちゃん大丈夫？？ Obviously thought I'd been beating him. Don't think controlled crying will ever take off here.