Tuesday 27 July 2010

So... Why are you tired?

The 4 little words that every mother/SAHM/working mother/wife of an unappreciative cock hate to hear. WARNING- man rant coming up, not just mine, but ALL of the bastard cocks!

No not really, well a bit. I've been incredibly busy lately, look I even took a picture of my schedule to prove it...

And honestly, I'm feeling the pressure. I would like to think I'm a relatively tough cookie, I don't usually get too upset by stress or being busy, I actually thrive under stress (but with lots of hissy fits in between...) but lately, I'm feeling the pressure of being a: mother (the biggest fucking stress producing role ever!?), a wife, a housekeeper, a cleaner, a taxi service, (by bastard bicycle in the heat) a people, or I should say grandma, pleaser, a business owner, a teacher, administrator, a foreigner, a daughter and sister, a friend, and all the other stuff that I am that can't really recall at the moment... Yes yes, woe is me, I know I really don't have it that bad, but lately I feel like something has got to give or my pretty little gaijin head may just explode.

I guess I feel that since I've started working (pretty much full-time if you add it all up) I don't feel like much of the house responsibility type shite has shifted from me. The only difference is that I just leave it all now, it doesn't get done by anyone else, just gets left. Take last night for example, I was teaching at the school until 7:30pm but then I have to finish any paperwork, do any prep I have for morning lessons and close up. Now, let me tell you first off that Ryota's job is incredibly shit, he works like a slave from some ancient civilisation in the heat and I can safely say his job is much harder than mine, BUT I don't think rustling something together for dinner is that much to ask. At the moment I pretty much buy, prep and think about our dinner every morning, then get anything ready that I can't do in the morning when I get home from work. And it's fucking crap. I'm tired when I get home and the last thing I want to do is cook and/or eat. So I feel if Ryota could organise himself and Ash with something, I'd honestly just settle for toast. But how to broach this subject with a Japanese man!? He may keel over from shock if I suggest it.

I was particularly fucked last night as had done two trial lessons and a kids lesson which all require me to transform into some kind of smiley, genki robot. When I got home, Ash had been fed (by Grandma) but not bathed and Ryota hadn't eaten dinner despite getting home 2 hours earlier. I guess it's not fair to bitch too much about it though because I'm sure if I had called and asked him to get himself something he would of, or scabbed something from the in-laws... So maybe I should just tell him to do that?? Perhaps this is my problem of not being forward enough to just flat out tell Ryota that unless I'm home I will never want to be arsed cooking dinner so late at night...

Anyway, last night, Grandma was harping on as soon as I got in the door about putting Ash in the bath (I think she's given up nagging Ryota, it just doesn't work...), and Ryota was sticking up for me, saying 'We'll put Ash in the bath later, Corinne's been working, she's hungry.' I did appreciate him sticking up for me, but if he thinks that far then surely he could go that extra bit to say, 'ok I warmed up the eel and put it on the rice, let's eat!'

So up until that point I really wasn't that cheesed off with him, it was the conversation after dinner that made me want to take a blunt knife and hack a testicle or two off...

ME: (Almost falling asleep and rubbing my pounding head)

HIM: So..... Why are you so tired?

ME: (Mentally pulling the knife out...) Errr because I worked today, and did the housework... and got dinner ready... and gave Ash a bath....

HIM: Oh. But you only taught 4 lessons right??

ME: (Left testicle is already off in my mind) The lesson is the easy part, I also had to prepare them you know, they don't just appear out of nowhere!

I would have continued on the 'unappreciated teacher' route but I knew it would have been lost on the prick.

I shouldn't really get so worked up, I think it's more to do with my stress rather than his actions, but I think we'll have a chat tonight about it anyway.

Here's hoping there's no explosive fights to report back tomorrow!!

Does anyone else feel overwhelmed by the general shite they have to do everyday, or should I check myself into the loony bin while I'm ahead!!??


  1. That's tough. Maybe just make yourself the toast and tell him there's food in the fridge, he can get his own.

  2. Putting my hands up as someone who is regularly overwhelmed by all the shit I have to do. :-( My flat regularly looks like a bomb has hit it and I just don't have the energy to do anything about it most days. I consider myself lucky in that I eat dinner with my parents most nights so I don't have to stress about that side of things but I used to get so worked up with having to balance everything when I lived in Japan.

    These days I do get overwhelmed but in a way I am philosophical about it because at the end of the day I made choices that I knew would involved me being the person solely responsible for a household and Joey and I don't have anyone to help me and that was my choice. I get annoyed with Mal for not helping out more but really, he isn't my husband or Joey's Dad so I am still a step away from having the full right to expect him to pitch in. I suspect that one of the things that bugs you the most is that you do have someone there who could lighten your load a bit.

    I hope he steps up or at the very least scabs food off his parents so you have one less thing to worry about! :-) Am sure they will be more than happy to assist, especially now that you are working so hard.

    (((HUGS))) from London. I know how tough it is when you get totally over-tired.

  3. PS- My iphone arrived. WOO HOO!! Only thing is that no-one told me that I would need to sync it to Itunes to activate it so now I need to take it home and sync it to my MacBook before I can play with it. VERY frustrating!!!

  4. Ditto - like the idea of telling him to get his own dinner on the nights you work late. Very fair. Keep a stock of instant ramen if that's as far as he can get. Scabbing off the inlaws also completely acceptable and probably more nutritious than him cooking for self?

    I only have between four and six lessons a week but hub thinks that is all it is - 4 to 6 hours and nothing else. He thinks my computer, printer and laminator magically work themselves. Actually not complaining though as am actual closet laminator lover.

    Hope your talk works out and something gives to make life a little less stressful.

    Also hope Ryota lives to see another day with two testicles still attached.

  5. Poor you :( It really can NOT be easy doing it all around each other like that.

    I have no constructive suggestions or comments, but he is a man and a Japanese man and both of those species have no idea about the runnings of households and mummyness...

    Do you think you could rope him into a sunday morning cooking session with you? In which you make a big batch of something (easy) every week and then freeze it so he can just reheat it easily for ash/himself to save you thinking about it? I am incredibly lazy and do that with kiddo - like everytime I make her something fresh I make too much and bung it in the freezer for another day or emergency bento.

    On a side note are you sure he knows how to work the toaster? It might be worth giving him a quick lesson :D In genki-bot mode of course!!! :D

  6. I think it's perfectly normal to feel the way you do given the long hours you work and all the domestic and mumsey stuff on top of that. The housework isn't important in the larger scheme of things though it took me a long time to not get het up about the place getting into a bit of a mess. Toddlers and tidiness just don't go together so you have to lower your standards and cut corners a lot.When I went back to work full time, my hub said he would do more around the house. When this didn't happen and my requests were repeatedly ignored, I stopped doing my husband's laundry and just let it pile up and he'd only notice when he ran out of socks or something. Terrible I know but I was sick and tired of asking him for "help" - like washing his own shirts was out of his jurisdiction or something. I'm sure he never forgot to wash his shirts in time for Monday morning when he was single!

    Perhaps you could suggest that whoever gets home first, starts to get dinner ready or picks up something from the supermarket. Just tell him outright that you are not preparing any food after a certain time at night. And why the hell should you?? A grown man is not going to starve in a country like Japan even if he can't cook.

    Sorry for the long comment - lots more could be said...

  7. You've got a ton on your plate, hands-down. Don't check yourself into the loony bin just yet. lol.

    I totally know what you're going through with the lessons, and teaching. I taught at a tiny English school in Suzuka for about a month (until hub's parents thought I wouldn't be safe enough with biking back at night by myself and pretty much pressured me into quitting...). I taught elementary school kids, and middle school kids. I had to come up with daily lessons too.

    In any case, I think Ryota is totally capable of thinking up dinners once and a while! Right? ;)

  8. I teach til 9 at night so there is no way that hub and bub can wait til I get home to prepare something. Hub knows his time with Miss A is in the evenings when I work, and he does a pretty good job of it too. Took him a while to get there, but he`s a pro at bathing and feeding our little one now.
    Maybe you kind of have to spell it out to Ryota, tell him what he needs to do, that way he just follows instructions :P