Can I just say, before I get on to the MASSIVE blow out Ryochan and I had last night, that sweaty ears make me really angry. Does anyone else get sweaty ears?? Not around the ear, not outside the ear, like, actually IN the inside of you ear?? Went for a run this morning and my ear phones kept slipping out due to this problem, then when I finally got them wedged back in I could hear the squelchy sweaty sound over my music. Is there any way I can avoid this!? I ended up wiping out my ears and earphones with my top in the end, must have looked pretty funny though, some random gaijin flashing some tit in order to wipe out her ears...
Anyway, I can safely say that last night was the most angry I've EVER been at Ryota and the loudest I've ever shouted while I've been in Japan. It was kind of good though, it was a short and sweet blow out (followed by a nice make-up international relations meeting!) so we're totally over it, but I think Ryota was just shocked at how angry I actually got.
Basically, it started from what I wrote yesterday, that Ryota and I are definitely going to disagree on the disciplining Ash issue.
We were eating cheesecake at the in-laws house and Ash was taking his fork and running around and tripping over things. Now, I wasn't even that concerned with the food all over the floor thing (hehe not my carpet!) and even the running was OK with me, but running with a fork just brings back memories of my 6th grade primary school teacher telling horror stories of kids running with long, sharp objects and that long, sharp object going through the kid's brain. Probably a total lie, but still, common sense says running with a fork is not going to end well. So I tried to get Ash to sit down and eat, when he refused and it was clear he just wanted to run around, I took the fork off him. Off course screaming and big tanty followed. I ignored it and intended to ignore it until he got over it. This is where Ryota challenged me. He was all "Ohhh he doesn't understand, just give it to him he's being so noisy!" It pissed me right off and I calmly explained to Ryota that a) Ash understands much more than Ryota thinks, b) the dangers of running with a fork and c) he needs to man the fuck up and support his wife.
Ryota sulked for a while before Ash went crying to him with fork in hand, now this is where I got really fucking furious. Ryota grabbed the fork off him, threw it into the kitchen (a pretty far distance) and yelled at Ash that he couldn't have it. Childish much!? He was clearly doing it to make a point to me but Ash was really scared, fuck we all were, he used a really angry voice.
This is the point where I went off, the whole house went silent as I ripped into Ryota with an angry voice I never knew I had in me. Maybe it was my maternal instincts taking over, but I was quite scary. I basically told Ryota to grow the fuck up and that it was the stupidest thing he has ever done. It's actually really hard to explain the tone of voice I used but it was the kind of tone where everyone knows you're not fucking around. It didn't help matters that Grandma had retrieved the fucking fork and given it back to Ash but that was beside the point by then... I stormed out of the house slamming doors behind me leaving Ryota with a a gobsmacked look on his face.
Not long after Ryota followed me home and said sorry for being childish, at least he knew he was being a twat. And then we actually communicated like good parents should! I explained the reasons for wanting to be more strict with Ash and he told me why he wanted to be more lenient with him. We agreed that it is definitely a 'parenting cultural difference' and that we would both try and meet more in the middle and support each other. He did have a big go at me for yelling at him in front of his family (chonan pride coming in there) but fuck it, it'll do him good to be brought down a few notches.
Props to MIL, she was actually supporting me in the no fork running thing, and congratulated me later for standing my ground against Ryota.
All was good though, we talked, apologised, got over it and shagged- now that's good parenting!