Saturday 7 April 2012

Cherry blossoms are shit.

You know, it may be the whole pregnancy depression funk I'm going through at the moment, but I'm getting zero fucking feeling from the old cherry blossoms. Now I usually find flowers as boring as all fuck. Pretty? Yes. Can we move along now? I'm not a gardener, I never will be despite my whole family having orgasms over a perfectly cut lawn or perfect row of pansies. (Ryota included) But cherry blossoms are pretty special because they are a barren, boring tree all year round and then for one week they just explode, and they are more than beautiful, how can they not be in all their pink sweetness. So cherry blossom time is the only time I really appreciate flowers properly. I always take photos and usually blow off something I should be doing to just go walk under the trees and get lost in all the petals. I think I cried when I saw the first blooms last year, just because there had been so much death and destruction and then finally the sign of new life and hope was starting. (And the fact that I'm an emotional dickhead who cries at pretty much anything...)

Of course there are always down sides to cherry blossoms, the hoards of people who ALL say the same fucking thing while snapping pictures with their phones a millimetre from the tree. "KIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!" It fucking drives me insane, but if you can't beat em, join em, I usually just join in the chorus of stupidity to fit in. But other than that, the blossoms bring a good atmosphere, people are outside, in the fresh air, and usually drinking some kind of alcoholic beverage to enhance the beauty of not only the trees, but the girl next to them who they may or may not end up shagging that night. Lovely.

This year? Not feeling it. It's cold for one thing, I don't want to freeze my tits off, it's supposed to be Spring, not a Winter revival, so I can't really feel it while I'm cold. And I just don't feel the same as I usually do... I guess this is because I feel crappy about myself, I can't find beauty in anything else either?? Amateur psychiatrists; go for your life!

In other self-image news, I've stopped eating dinner in a bid to curb my over-sized arse. It makes me as grumpy as fuck but it forces me to bed earlier so it's kind of working for me! I figure I have enough fat stored to last the rest of my pregnancy anyway...

So I hope you are getting more pleasure out of the cherry blossoms than me, I'll dust my camera off tomorrow and give it one more try!


  1. god I'm not even pregnant and I feel the exact same way.

  2. Every year my students ask me if I'm gonna admire the hanami?

    Do I look like a flower guy? Do I ever say anything that remotely conjures up images of me looking up at a fucking flower?

    I got some cherry tree wood from a tree that was felled by a typhoon (maybe bullshit) and I told some students at the Christmas party who were admiring the taste of the slow smoked turkey..

    "It's smoked with Sakura/Hanami/Cherry wood ya know"

    (students looking angry...repulsed)

    *Chris how did you get sakura wood?*

    "Oh I just went up to the temple grounds over there and cut a whole tree down...tastes good yeah?"

    God strike me down...if they didn't look more offended than if I said "how much for your daughter?"

    I've done this 2 years in a row to 2 different groups of women and not a single one was amused even after I slapped one of them on the back and said "nah...I'm just fucking with ya...typhoon!!"

    I will video it next time. It's fucking classic to see the horror fill their face while they try not to spit the turkey out. Next time ;)

  3. See now I get sucked in every year. I love an excuse to eat, drink and be merry, while pretending to admire nature, that's why I go camping in summer! In all fairness, it is cold this year, you need the barbeque just to keep warm...

  4. Cycling along the edge of nowhere... Early one morning, before a remote northern town was stirring, I found myself walking underneath a heavenly cloud of cherry blossoms. That profound moment of bliss, with no other human soul around, is why the blue tarp ritual is virtually unbearable, were it not for family and beer.

  5. I read in a reputable magazine (Newsweek? Time?) that losing weight long-term comes from reducing the target amount of calories need to be lost per day, spreading the total over a longer period of time to take into account metabolism slowdown that happens when a large amount of calories get cut out from your daily intake.
    Which means, it was proposed that instead of the "get rid of 500 calories a day for two weeks" rule, it's "get rid of 100 calories a day for three years".

    Let me know how you fare!

  6. It is insanely cold! I find it hard to drag myself away from the heater.

  7. A nice quality steak and some steamed veggies might make you feel better, I'm sure you need the iron too.

    I don't mind the hanami to be honest. It's not so populated down here, so my kirei threshold seems to be kept intact.

    Hope you feel better soon mate.

  8. It is dangerous to diet while pregnant. If you're concerned about your weight, cut out the gohan and carbs and up the protein and leafy greens. Both you and the baby will feel better.