Monday 28 September 2009

Welcome... TO FUTON WARS!

Anyone else seen phoenix nights??? No? Righto.

So there is a bastard big family argument going on at the moment, and I was relieved for about 2 seconds because I thought I wasn't actually involved, but noooo, of course I was!

Yesterday I went to MIL's house, (she is still in Thailand, so it's Obaachan, BIl and SIL) where Ryota and Ash were while I was getting some housey shite done, and as I walked in the door, all I heard was Ryo-chan's angry voice growling "Kaero!" (We're going!) and then shoving me back out the door. BIL and SIL were silent and Obaachan was chuntering something in the background so I had no idea what the fuck was going on.

2 cigarettes later Ryota finally told me what happened, but men are quite unreliable when it comes to relaying arguments, they either a) forget important details, b) twist the story so it's not their fault at all, or c) can't be arsed telling you the whole or even half of the story so grunt instead when questioned. I think Ryo-chan managed to combine all 3 of those when he was telling me what happened...

OK I'll back up a bit, I went to the park with SIL on Saturday (great pictures, will post soon!) and when we came back there was a massive futon set dumped in our genkan. My first reaction was, 'fuck me, not another cunting futon, where am I going to put this bastard?!' And then Obaachan came over and informed me that this was for Ashton to sleep on.
I gave in on the futon vs cot debate so Ash now sleeps on the floor NEXT TO his perfectly good, safe, expensive cot. Although I must admit, I do like just rolling over half asleep to pat him back to sleep or whip out some tit without standing up.
So Ash sleeps on a normal mattress with a baby sized futon on top, which he often rolls off but he also rolls off the adult sized mattress, so unless they start making futons as big as our whole entire room, he's gunna roll off the fucker.

I think Obaachan may have still been pissed that I was dissing the whole futon gig and this new futon was an attempt to stop the rolling off issue that I like to bitch about. I got what she said when she said "This is for Ash to sleep on" but I didn't really get the meaning, like we didn't really need the thing. When Ryota got home Saturday and tripped over the futon on the way in I said, "Oh yeh, Obaachan brought it over, I think it's for Ash but I have no idea..."
Ryota then went and asked Obaachan and she said "I fucking told your stupid gaijin wife already!" (well not really, but along those lines in more grandma-like speak).

Ash is pretty sick with a cold so on Saturday night we were busy and both couldn't be arsed taking the fated futon upstairs but when Obaachan came in on Sunday and saw it she gave a little miffed mumbling rant on the fact that we hadn't used the futon. I explained that we were just tired the night before and we'd give it a crack from tonight.
When Ryota went over there apparently (and this is where the details are based purely on Ryota's sketchy account of things!) they got into the conversation again and Ryota said that I couldn't understand Obaachan's Japanese! Which is true a lot of the time, hell I have trouble understanding old people in English, add in the Japanese factor, a sprinkling of Tottori-ben, lots of gutter Osaka-ben and sometimes I just guess a response. I did actually understand the futon conversation, I just didn't get why he needed it... Ya get me...?

Obaachan got pissed then and was all like 'well has she understood anything I've said in the last 2 years!?' and Ryota went into a 'if she speaks to you in English will you understand!?' and it went on from there....
I live in Japan, nobody should have to speak English to me, but I was touched that Ryo-chan would jump to my defence. He also told Obaachan she couldn't just dump things in our house, she should ask first, and that I definitely agree with.

Anyway, Ryota told me he wasn't going to go to the in-laws house ever again , which is a joke because as soon as Ash starts crying when he's looking after him he'll soooo be over there! He told me not to go either but I told him to shove it, it's his beef not mine. Kinda regretted that though when I went over last night and got into a tiff myself with Obaachan over Ashton taking a bath. He had quite a high fever and was all snotty, apparently in Japan a bath is a no-no when there's a fever involved, which I think is bollocks, the fever is taken wayyyy too seriously here in my opinion. Whenever I'd had too much to drink and called in a sickie to work, all I had to do was say I had a fever and any boss/ co-worker would be worried about me, but when I was in Australia I don't think we even had a thermometer in our house!
I knew Ash would feel better after a warm bath so I could get all the snot and muck off his face but Obaachan was all "Fine, ask the doctor when you go tomorrow, he'll tell you!!"
I basically told her straight then that in Australia, it's fine to take a bath, and he was having one.

Ryota still hasn't talked to her but I'm sure he will soon enough. OK, my snot monster just woke up so must go tend to the poor little bugger!

Friday 25 September 2009


This week obviously feels short because it was riddled with days of hellish crowds and traffic jams, also knows as public hols in Japan. I'm happy to say that Ryota is back at work, meaning my house is back in order.
Took Ash back to the clinic today as he's still snotting all over the place, they told me I was being paranoid and probably am but fuck, how do I know if I don't check. They said that babies can get cold that last a month, is that right??The nurses pissed me off today too, there's a 'no stroller inside' policy at the clinic and I get it if it's really crowded, (is that the reason??) but today there was like one other lady and her kiddie there. Ash was sleeping in the stroller when we went in but nursey was watching the stroller like a hawk and the minute he woke up she told me to take it outside. Very typical Japanese rule bullshit that pisses me right off. Ryota also hates it, hence his hissy fit at Babies 'r' us the other day when the sales clerk wanted Ryota to sign the credit card slip instead of me, Ryota threw a tanty and the 16 year old clerk went all red and just looked down while I signed. Perhaps we really shouldn't live in this country...

Old school- drunk at about 8am...

Now, where I'm from, goon is a $2 cask of wine that you get hammered on when you're 17, obviously Japan has other ideas!

My 500 yen collection, it's about half way, which is 150,000 yen!

My rodeo boy is getting some use, Ryo-chan's surfing practice.

Ash's belly...

Thursday 24 September 2009

Is it just me or...


Jeez, I know there's an abundance of bad English on clothes in Japan but this one goes a little bit too far. I couldn't bear to actually dress Ash in them so I just draped them over him when he was sleeping.

That is all.

Wednesday 23 September 2009


I don't have a late note for not updating, just have not been arsed the last few days, having two kids at home (Ash and Ryota) for 4 days is tiring stuff!
Silver week in Japan is drawing to a finish today, which means in one week I'll be leaving on a jet plane for Aussie for about 3 weeks. Excited...? I'm not sure actually. NOT looking forward to the plane trip and 5 fucking hour stop in the gold coast shitty airport. I even booked the lounge for us when we got there but apparently it only opens for an hour that we are there. Cunting jetstar, always some problem.

The last time I was at shitty little Gold coast airport I had a tanty because the lady said she couldn't take a $100 note when I went to buy a drink. Fair enough it's a big note for a bottle of coke but fuck me it's a fucking airport, of course people are going to be bringing big notes they've got from the currency exchange. That's what shits me the most about living in Australia, customer service is just poor, especially when I've been so spoiled in Japan for so long.
I have a feeling Ash will be going absolutely crazy by the time we get to the Gold coast, he's been having mental screaming fits when he's been restricted of late. Fun fun. I'm just hoping there are some kindly Obachans who like half kids on the plane and will help me.

Speaking of half kids we were in a shopping centre the other day and the staff squealed to Ash "Halfu-kun!!!" while she squeezed his chubby thighs. Whatever, I'm not really fussed what he's called but it was the first time anyone has actually ever called him 'half' to his face...if you can talk to a baby's face... you know what I mean. The girl in question had cats eyes contacts and was dripping in goth jewellery so I could have made a snide comeback but who can be fucked getting pissed off, really.

We haven't done much this week, finally scammed a new car seat from father in law, I used to feel guilty about milking him for things but he's such a daft bugger it really doesn't bother me that much anymore, and if Ash gets new stuff then who am I to complain? I did offer to go for the cheapy 12,000 yen car seat but FIL is a snob like that and insisted we got the 30,000 yen one, meh, if he wants to get ripped off for some extra padding and a brand name....

I have pictures to post and some content that may actually be slightly stimulating but again, I just cannot be fucked. Maybe when the second baby goes back to work tomorrow and I'm not picking up coffee cups and making bloody ramen at 9am.

Saturday 19 September 2009

Our weird little genkan on fire neighbourhood

The "street" we live on is full of old people, (I use "street" because I don't think a gravel path, cluttered with plants, bikes and general shite so that cars could never get through counts as a street) we're seriously the youngest people within a 5km radius and lucky for all the old ducks, they're so bloody deaf they don't hear Ashton screaming at 2am.

And not only are they all old, there are some serious weirdos within the group, and the other day I found out an horrific piece of gossip about one of the ones who I thought was semi-normal. So here's a rundown on the houses around us, there are 6 houses on each side:

Left side

House 1~ are kind of friends of MIL, they have a son the same age as BIL and 5 FUCKING DOGS! Seriously, I love puppies, but 5 in one house are noisy/smelly/annoying as fuck, let alone a teeny tiny Japanese house. I think the husband likes me because he's always so nice to me but everyone else says he's a bastard who never does the aisatsu deal. The wife is also quite cold and all the old biddies hate her and her noisy dogs.

House 2~ is a little old lady who I have literally seen once since we moved in. MIL calls her "little round ball lady" because she's short and pudgy, which is rich considering MIL isn't exactly Claudia Schiffer! I don't know how little round ball lady gets food from the supermarket, she never goes out, meals on wheels maybe??? There was some rotting garbage stench in the neighbourhood once and I said someone should go and check to make sure she hadn't carked it and was still in the house. I don't think she has family or anything, poor petal.

House 3~ OK this is where the bizarreness really kicks in, and these are our next door neighbours. Husband and wife and Emily the cat.
Where do I begin.
OK I know that loving your pets is normal, but the obsession the wife has with her cat is really not OK. She takes her everywhere she goes, talks to her in baby talk, takes her for walks and get this- takes a bath with her! A cat, people! I hear them in the bath together: wife husband and Emily. Eugh the mind boggles. And when she calls her name she uses this voice that I can't describe in words but it's seriously haunting and freaks me the fuck out. "Emmmmiiiilllllllyyyyyy..... Emmmmiiiillllllyyyyy!!!!!" *shudder*
The weirdness doesn't end with these two though, they have sons that never talk to them for whatever reason (probably because mummy loved the cat more than them!) and there was a massive argument a few years ago because the wife accused another neighbour of hitting on her husband!!
I wish I had a picture of the husband because if you saw him you would know how ridiculous that sounds, he is like a creepy bad teeth old J-dude. I don't like him because he never says hello to me but it may just be gaijin fear as he helped renovate our house when I was in Australia out of the kindness of his heart.
The wife also has an obsession with airing out futons, she does it way too often. I'm pretty lazy with airing out futons, but this lady takes it to the extreme, sometimes when I get up with Ash at 4am I'll hear her bashing her little stick against them to get the dust out while chatting to Emily.

House 4~ that's us! I think on a scale of weirdness we rate pretty high in Japan, me being an alien and all.

House 5~ is our old deaf dude neighbour who never makes a sound. He's very nice and always wants to see Ash when we go out in the stroller. Sounds normal, right?
Well he is, apart from his girlfriend. His old duck girlfriend is the lady who lives in the house behind ours but I don't think they could be fucking, she's like 400 years old and seriously crazy. I can't say how, but she has this shrill voice and likes to interrupt people when they are talking. The hood power biddies really dislike her and always try to cut her out of the flower bed conversations. They take little walks together to the supermarket which is cute and MIL said she saw them saying goodbye one night at the path where the houses divide and said they shook hands! How cute!

House 6~ we reaaalllllyyy don't like. The woman is a bitch who never says hello and will blatantly ignore you. She is also loud and has a husky smokey voice. Don't know why that annoys me as well, but it does. Her husband went into a depression a few years ago and refused to work so she has to work 2 jobs, so maybe I can forgive her a bit for being a bitch...

Right side

House 1~ is an old lady and her son who we call "the killer." He has that creepy look about him that gives me the willies, and he's a 50 year old man still living with his mummy the tosser. He also says she needs exercise and sends her to the conbini to get juice for him the lazy cunt. Old lady is on last legs according to Obaachan, she fainted during a flower bed discussion once and her voice is getting pretty slurred. She's nice enough though, gave us some star wars toys for Ash just in case he grows up to be a massive nerd.

House 2~ is Kumi-chan. Ohhhhh Kumi-chan.
It's actually a really tragic, scary story. Kumi-chan is now in her 40's, but when she was a baby she fell down the stairs (and I know how dangerous that can be!) and hit her head and was severely mentally damaged. Her mum must have felt sooooo bad, she was completely normal until the fall. Very sad. But now poor Kumi-chan goes mental bashing the walls and screaming every. single. night. I know it can't be helped but it seriously adds to the craziness of our hood in a big way. If you ever stay at our house you'll definitely hear her.

House 3~ is the in-laws. Directly opposite us! Woooo....Hooooo?
Divorced MIL living with rebel Obaachan, dog-loving-to-the-point-of-weird SIL and lazy little bad boy bastard BIL.

House 4~ we call "Korea" in a horribly racist affectionate way. She was born in Japan but her parents were born in North Korea and they still speak Korean at home. Just husband and wife now, and wife was the one accused of hitting on our neighbours husband. I'm 200% sure she wouldn't have been hitting on him, she is just really really....loud. And forward, like more forward than most loud obachans, possibly because of the Korean influence but that could be my too-long-in-Japan skewed view of the world. She's very nice to me though and has taken to walking every day because I made her feel guilty when she saw me going jogging.

House 5~ is 'crazy washing lady.' And she is. She washes at least 5 times a day, probably more. The veranda is constantly filled with washing and she's always out there putting new loads out. She also had a massive fight with 5 dog lady a while ago because of the sound of the washing machine going at 2am was driving her and everyone else nuts. Very quiet, always too busy washing for greetings.

House 6~ is the one who I thought was normal but is actually very very fucked up. It's just a single guy now, around 50 I think. He must work a lot because I hardly ever see him. The bizarreness is in his past. MIL informed me that when he was in primary school, his mother stood in their genkan, (house entrance) poured petrol over herself and set herself alight. Ummmm, hello, does this shit really happen in real life?? On the street I live??? Every time I walk past the door now I get a little shiver at the story. Apparently father was cheating and she just couldn't handle it so killed herself. IN THE MOST HORRIFIC MANNER EVER! That dude must seriously be scarred for life, no wonder he buries himself in work.

So that's it, our crazy little corner of the world! I told you it was crazy!

Friday 18 September 2009

OCD snotty Friday

I've been very OCD with dirt lately, especially when it comes to Ashton's face. Fucking hate it, even though I know that I should just wait until he's finished eating to wipe his face cos it's just going to get dirty all over again.... can't do it. Must wipe after every mouthful. And the little bugger hates it (probably because I do it so much...) I think a bit of dirt is good for a kid too, kids who never get exposed to dirt get sick easily when they are but fuck, I can't stand it!

The fact that Ash caught a cold is not helping the urge to wipe his face, snot is waaayyyyy worse than food as well! He started leaking 'nose water,' as they say in Japanese, yesterday and Ryochan told me he'd go with me to the clinic when he got home from work but by the time Ash woke up it was a snot bonanza and the poor little tyke couldn't drink milk properly because he could hardly breathe through his nose.
So in a bold move, I decided to find the baby clinic on the Internet, (we'd never been before) print off the map, and get in Tay-chan holding Ash with one hand because his old baby seat is too small and he climbs out of it while driving with the other hand.
The in-laws were very shocked at this (in-laws being Obaachan being the only one home), and the shock waves even reached Thailand where MIL was somehow informed I was taking on this impossible task. She mailed me and told me to wait until BIL got home but fuck it, I wanted to go by myself.

I called the clinic and after explaining that I was a foreigner and apologising in advance (since when do foreigners have to apologise for their foreign-ness???) I got directions and confirmed there was free parking at the clinic. And fuck me, I made it there! It was actually pretty easy to find, I even wrote my address in kanji like a big girl and filled in the whole form with Ash's info.

This simple task was actually a big effort for me, I forget that I used to survive in JapanLand even when I understood jack shit, didn't have a car and had noooo idea of any of the wacky systems such as going to a secret backdoor window to receive medicine after seeing the doc.

Ash's cold was confirmed and I was given his medicine and instructions all in (very fast) Japanese which may have been a test because after the Doc said my Japanese was great and he didn't need to use the little English he knows. I assured him that any English he used would be greatly appreciated on my part and did a big hearty "Yoroshiku onegaishimasu" and was on my way home!

In-laws were flabbergasted at my achievement and it felt good to actually show them I could do something by myself.
Anyway, Ash is on the mend and I'm trying very hard to not rub his nose too much and make it all red. I need some of those aloe tissues from home!

OK, this week's photos are pretty boring, I'm just not snapping as much as I used to, have to go on some photography field trips soon.

Old school photo of the week, getting fucked up on box wine in a park in Osaka...

My metabolic son, check the belly!

My scraped up arm from the stairs fall

Ash eating the table, as you do...

My bruised arm
I'm looking forward to the long long weekend this weekend, suckers not in Japan, enjoy your pissy 2 day weekend!

Wednesday 16 September 2009

Stairs tumble and party pics

OK I know I promised death party piccies yesterday but I have a good excuse, I fell down the stairs!

Was upstairs trying to lower the cunting baby bed when MIL dropped Ash back home as he had fallen asleep and sleeps better at our quiet, clean, yapping dog-free house. When she put him down she asked if I could hear him from upstairs and I said I could, but somewhere in the back of my mind there was this image of him waking up silently and crawling into the kitchen and getting into some dangerous kind of trouble. He never wakes up silently but you know, the thought was still there...

So when he woke up 2 minutes later and started crying I flew out of our bedroom and literally flew down the stairs. Anyone who lives in a J-house knows that the stairs are fucking lethal, I mean they equip them with an old lady bar even when there are no old ladies present!

I often think how dangerous and steep they are and when I'm carrying Ash I'm always super careful, but yesterday was the combination of rushing, not concentrating and wearing socks due to my fear of dirty feet.

As my feet slipped out from under me I landed on my arse (lucky it's big and cushioney!) and then kept going right till the bottom, I tried to stop myself with my arms but that was my biggest mistake, stopping was impossible and I just ended up with burny, scratchy bruised arms and fucked up hands. My little finger and thumb were swollen and at funny angles so I went and got an x-ray and thank god nothing was broken. The doctor even said I had beautiful bones, whatever the fuck that means...

So that was that, the bruising is coming out more today so if there are any shockingly good bruises I'll post them, but mostly just annoying scratches.
Yesterday was a cursed day, had to take Ash to the clinic too as a mosquito bite blew up into this massive red bubble on his arm, then had the stairs, and MIL almost had to cancel her flight to Thailand as the lady covering her work schedule's mother died! I wouldn't have been getting on a plane yesterday but she did!

OK, here are some death party pics.....

Our cousin and Ash with goofy faces on the bus ride of death.

The crew...and the view...

Ash admiring the view while noshing.

MIL and Obaachan.

Fancy food.

Uncle and Auntie

Restaurant entrance.

Monday 14 September 2009

I'm dying, let's all go out for dinner and get hammered!

That was the theme of the dinner we went to last night. Just because depressing revelations like that are soooooooo uplifting on a Sunday night...

MIL informed us that we were going to a family dinner to be held last night, of course, she left the dying-uncle-shouting-us-all part out. We see this uncle and auntie quite often, they live just around the corner, and last year uncle was diagnosed with emphysema. The 3 packets of ciggies he smoked a day for god knows how many years may have had something to do with it, and now he needs to trek around with an oxygen tank attached to him. He's nice, in a rough, scary kind of way. And I like his son, good drinking partner.

Anyway, we got home from Jamies's going away party and then were shuffled out the door so the bus could pick us up. I was like, bus? what bus? what? Apparently the restaurant has a shuttle bus which I've never seen in Japan before but once we started driving I knew why, the restaurant is literally on top of a mountain, and a big fuck-off mountain at that. I was glad I was sitting on the back seat and couldn't see how close the half blind Occhan was going to the edge of the cliff around the corners. The mountain mission was definitely worth the view though, awesome. I took pictures but Ash was being a bugger and couldn't be arsed changing lens so the view pics are pretty shite, will get my shit together tomorrow and post some anyway though.

When we got there the uncle gave a speech about how the doctor said he was definitely going to die soon so he thought he should take his family out for a good meal. Err.... cheers?....woo...h... Oh wait, just bow head and look at shoes.
Luckily MIL started taking the piss out of him and said he'd be saying that when he was 90 years old and that we'd never get rid of him, we all relaxed a bit after that and I ordered more beer to take the edge off.

This place was fancy, the chefs are all trained in different specialities and the lady looking after us introduced herself and said if we needed anything we should ask her. I took advantage of this and ended up with my beer never being empty, a high chair for Ash, a real port-a-cot when he went to sleep, and access to a private office with air con when I got my tits out for the lad.
The meal was like 800 courses (of dainty Japanese food though so equals about 10 gaijin courses.) but man I was fucking bursting by the end of the night, lucky I was wearing stretchy pants or we would have been in trouble! Again, photos to come when I can be arsed.

I was curious to know how much it cost so being the uncouth gaijin that I am, I asked MIL who had put it on her card for the mileage. And fuck me, that mileage will fly her to whoop whoop and back again, 70 thousand fucking yen!!!! That's what like 850 bucks??? I think my beer tab took up most of it, I was well smished by the bus ride home. Uncle was going on about wanting to go to costco so seeing as though he shelled out a small fortune I offered to take him this week.

In other news..... not much going on, getting ready for my trip back home.. MIL going to Thailand for 2 weeks tomorrow... Ashton cut his top tooth and I cried, why? I have noooo fucking idea, since giving birth I've turned into a soft in the head crying machine. Piccies tomorrow!

Friday 11 September 2009

Foto Friday PLUS today only!! Bonus in-law rant!

Weeks are flying by, less than 3 weeks until I'm back in Aussie. Kind of looking forward to it in that will be great to see everyone and everyone will be thrilled to see Ash, (and take him off my hands hehe) but will definitely miss Ryota and being 'home.'

Had a few in-law incidents over the past few weeks, we're in a futon debate at the moment, all the in-laws are fighting for Ash to be out of the crib and on to a futon. I'm not against futons, fuck I like them, sleep on one! But we spent $400 on the freakin baby bed, it's taking up room, he should sleep in it! Plus, it's a safe place for him, he's into everything at the moment, we're baby proofing like crazy. It's the only place where he can't chew the shit out of something that will get lodged in his throat. Everyone here insists that he's waking up because he's hitting his legs and arms on the crib but I think it's bullshit, we tried him on the futon one night and he rolled off on to the tatami and woke up anyway. So for now he stays, I'm the one who gets up anyway!

The main in-law problem lately has been SIL. moody little bitch has been hell to be around lately. She's always been moody and that's partly why I like her, she's unpredictable and kind of bitchy to people who piss her off, but her latest hissy fit is the most childish thing I've ever heard. She's jealous because her Dad wouldn't buy her a jacket she wanted.... Ummm can you say 12 years old???

Basically, SIL really doesn't like her Dad, she's still cut about how he left her mum, and that's cool, FIL was a right wanker at the time, she has every right to still be pissed. So she never goes to see him or calls him, even when BIL and Ryota and I go, she stays home. FIL always asks about her and what she's doing and we usually make some excuse like she's working because we can see the hurt look on his face.

FIL is pretty generous (making up for bad fathering perhaps??) and always buys us little (or big, kitchen chairs, finally, woooohoooo!) prezzies. He bought Ash a new high chair the other day and BIL some ridiculously over-priced anti-balding shampoo and SIL was miffed when she heard about this. So she called FIl and without even saying "How are you?" first said, "Can you buy me this jacket I want on the Internet?? Just give me your card number..."

I was gobsmacked when I heard that, sooooo cheeky!

I honestly think if she'd asked FIL if they could go shopping together for her winter jacket he would have jumped at the chance, but as expected he said no. Thank god, I would have really lost respect for him if he'd said yes.

Anyway, since then, SIL has been in a foul mood towards everyone, including Ash, which just isn't fair. She thinks that we shouldn't go to FIL's house but fuck, that's our choice not hers. (Plus, I need some new bedding! ;) Ryota got so sick of it he went off his nut the other night and basically said he didn't care whether she was family or not, a bitch is a bitch. It was harsh but even Grandma and MIL told her she was being an arsehole, and since then she's been back to normal. Gotta love Japan and the feeling burying tactics that go on then get smoothed over until someone goes crazy with a knife at Akihabara station....

Been a few other things like Grandma telling me Ash is too cold because his shoulders aren't covered but nothing a few "Sou ne's" can't fix.

OK here are this week's piccies!

Old school! Was having contractions here, hence the timing sheet next to me! なつかしいいいい!

Ash has taken to shouting into wrapping paper then waiting for a reply, very cute.

Drunken photo from the end of the wedding, Ryo-chan looks like he's gunna keel over!

Was this little man's birthday party the other day, we had lots of fun, Happy Birthday Raiden kun! Check out his mummy's cool blog here!

We loooovvvveee yoghurt!

Wednesday 9 September 2009

Weekend part two...

Little late, the next weekend is almost here!

We went and visited our friend Sayuri on Sunday and her little girl Sakura. Sakura is 1 year old and Sayuri is 8 months preggers with the next one!!! Super woman?? Mad woman?? I'm going to go with Fucking insane woman. To have two ankle biters that close together is beyond my imagination.

Sakura and Ash were very friendly with each other and I'm hoping they will get married one day and have lovely little half-half kiddies.

I feel bad for Sayuri, her hub is Australian and not the best hub from what I hear. Arrested for drug possession, lost his licence for drink driving, living with his alcoholic mother, smokes in front of the babies...Cock. Now I remember why I could never go back to Aussie brutes. Her mum is also battling breast cancer and is quite ill. I wish Sayuri would leave Australia and live in Japan, I have a funny feeling she might one day... Anywhooo, here are some pictures from Sunday.

Ryo-chan gearing up for the 2 kiddy hold.

Ash and his hair pulling tactics the big flirt.

They were sharing toys like pros.

Ash didn't appreciate the pink hat...

Monday 7 September 2009

Awesome weekend part 1

I'm incredibly pleased to announce that Ash is back to normal, only one wake up last night and he didn't drink milk, so all is good in our house! His nappy seems to not fit as well, maybe it was a growth spurt?? And he is pulling himself up at the moment... Who freakin' knows with babies, I think I'll just have to go with the flow for the next 18 years until I can throw him out of the house and go on a world trip...

This weekend was great fun, hectic, but fun. Again, I can't be arsed writing everything so I'll write about my Saturday now and my Sunday at some other time. Got some great snaps though, couldn't put the camera down!

Saturday started off pretty shitty, I was looking forward to seeing my hot hairdresser to get a cut and colour but when I got to the salon I got lots of bows and some bullshit excuse that hot hairdresser was sick. Phhhffft, sick my left tit, he's such a yankee I bet he was out on the piss all night, which actually makes me love him even more...

Anyway, I got stuck with a short weedy guy who apparently is the 'top stylist.' I was miffed seeing as though I'd booked a week in advance, and even more miffed when they stuck me with the big-haired, para-para assistant to do my colour. She was wearing white ugg-boots and that was enough to turn me off her, but then she had to ask whether or not she uses foil for mesh, even I know you use foil, twit! She didn't say a word to me the whole time and was shit scared of me I think, seeing as though I did a huge cross sign with my arms and said "No gold or orange!!!" before she put the colour on.

The colour didn't turn out too bad, despite weedy stylist sucking air through his teeth and saying the colour I wanted was very difficult. Fuck me, hot hairdresser managed it, can't be that hard! Para-para assistant was shoved off to sweep up hair and weedy stylist began to cut my hair, once he loosened up he was pretty cool. I was planning on just a trim but when he started taming my mullet I realised I couldn't handle the long bits at the back and short front bits at the front that hot hairdresser had done a few months before so I just had him hack it all off to one length, it's very short but feels good and I'm pretty happy with it.

After the haircut we got ready for our friends' wedding party. It was my first wedding in Japan and I must say it was fun but a total rip off, I was disgruntled about this the whole time so made sure I milked my $70 for as much wine as I could... How do I put this? I was fucked. Sozzled. Pissed. Drunk as a skunk. Smashed. Trolleyed. Destroyed. Loaded. More than tipsy. Smished..... It was so good!!

We also when to a bar after where I downed a fair amount of hoegarden beer to top it off, which I love!

Ryo-chan also had a skin-full after his 4(!) rum and cokes and we both stumbled home to the reality of our little monster. Speaking of which, MIL was babysitting him and he had gone to sleep but woke up just as she was about to come pick us up. Everyone else was in bed so she had to bring him with her on her back... I found this quite amusing at the time in my drunken state, but now I think about it, how safe can this really be....?

MIL driving with Ash on her back, he seemed quited content...

Cos the car just wasn't dangerous enough...

Ryo-chan drunk chuckling in disbelief at his own Mother's recklessness...

And now for some wedding pics! The couple are so lovely, Euan is Scottish. Was a great night!

Ryo-chan and the groom


My favourite picture of the night.

Friday 4 September 2009

Foto friday, sleepless nights, walk-out fights, desperate D gossip, more fights and a partridge in a fucking pear tree.

This past few days have been a crazy whirlwind of stress and divorce threatening, I feel like an old woman!
I'm also running on very little sleep for the past 3 nights so please forgive the spelling and grammar mistakes that will be scattered through this post... I did title this post 'Men and babies. HAD IT!' But Ryota and I are now happily back to love love mode so I can't really say that now.

OK going to break it down into categories becasue I can't be arsed writing a fluid composition of topics...

Sleepless nights-
Ashton is going through a stage (please god let it just be a stage...) of waking up every 2 hours at night. This means I get no sleep at all basically as it takes me a long time to fall asleep anyway. Last night was better, I got about 4 hours I think. This also means Ryota gets interrupted sleep, and when you've got to get up at 5:30am that's no fun either.

Walk-out fights-
Due to lack of sleep on both our parts we've been extremly irritable. The other night this led to a fight where I threatened to leave but Ryota ended up leaving instead. I was soooo fucking angry!
This is how it went down; Ryota got home late which pisses me off to begin with (despite it not being his fault). Then I asked him to finish giving Ash his dinner so I could make our dinner. Ryota is pretty shit at feeding Ash, he gives up way too quickly and has no patience, sometimes I think he's doing it on purpose becasue it's just too tedious. Ash was really sleepy so he asked me what he should do. I possibly used a tone like, 'are you a fucking moron, put him to sleep' when I said "give him some juice and a dummy and rock him to sleep". I was busy with dinner by this point and Ash went to sleep pretty quickly. Ryota hadn't got the futon out beforehand and got panicky when he realised he couldn't put him down. He then said to me in an extremly harsh tone: "Can you fucking help me!?"
I was fucking fuming at that point, what the fuck does he think I do all day by myself??? *Deep breaths...*
After Ash was sleeping I closed the door and we started screaming at each other which led to the leaving...blah blah...drama drama.
I went after him when he left and we made up. All good. Except some of that argument wasn't resolved and carried on to the next night's fight....

Desperate D gossip-
OK I wrote about D, Ryota's friend who had a thing for Ryota a while back. Well, she called Ryota last night in tears and she had a massive fight with her boyfriend becasue his mother doesn't like her and he booked her a flight today, 3 weeks early!!!! What a fucking spinelesss cock smoker!! He's 30 fucking years old and he's listening to what his mummy has to say??? I feel bad for her, she seemed really upset.

More fights-
OK, kinda carry over from original fight but the night before last I'd literally had no sleep at all and when Ash woke up for the fourth time I started sobbing. Now this isn't unusual for me, I'm a total cry baby. 24 hour TV, cried like a big baby, movies, sad, angry, I cry. I was just so exhausted that I needed to cry. Ryota also woke up and asked me "Are you ok?" But not in a , 'aww poor thing' kind of way, in a 'fucking hell woman what are you crying about?' way. When I told him I was tired he said it was my fault for not sleeping in the day. Ash sleeps about 30 minutes during his daytime nap and that precious time is used for cleaning or doing some other shite that Ryota has no idea about. I got a bit emotionally over-tired hysterical then and we had another round but I had no fight just tears in me.
End result, Ryota realised he'd been a wanky husband and apologised profusely the next day and even got up with me when Ash woke up last night, which isn't necessary, just a bit of compassion is all I need.


All good now, looking forward to this weekend, getting my hair done, going to a wedding and then visiting our friend in Nara.

This week's pics, pretty boring sorry!

Ash destroying my well kept shelf. (Note the rodeo boy holding a towel and a plate...)

Telling Daddy a secret...

Me and Ash with Tay-chan

Dinner at outback

Helping grandma with a box cutting project.

Tuesday 1 September 2009

Gotta get us a lottery ticket

We got lucky yesterday, well, actually, Ryota got sneaky. Either way, we came out of it 20,000 yen richer! In normal circumstances my moral compass might have found their bearings but Ryota's boss is a major tight arse who cut his salary when he went back to work so I was happy to take the ill-gotten money.
Ryota came home last night and gave me 20,000 yen and told me I should buy a new dress for the wedding we're going to on Saturday night, I was worried I was going to have to whore myself out for a new outfit what with new car buying activities and all so was very happy. But then the thought occurred to me that he might have developed a secret pachinko habit and I got scared... I was very relieved to hear that while he was cleaning out an office on a job site where he was instructed to throw everything away he came across 4 platinum rings in their box. Resourceful boy my lad is, he took it upon himself to swing past the second-hand store on his way home and got the cash for them! If his boss wasn't such a fucker then he would have just given the rings to him and they would have shared the money or whatever, but I went and got myself a new dress, necklace and a mini buggy for Ash for when we go back to Australia. Sweet!

The dinner the other night went pretty good, didn't get any 'I want to shag your husband senseless' vibes from his friend, she was with her boyfriend after all. I hope she doesn't read this blog.... Anyway, she's desperate to marry her boyfriend, actually she's desperate to marry any Japanese guy, not quite sure why... Not that I'm knocking the J-guys, I don't think I could go back to brutish Aussie guys now, but I used to just possibly pick the wrong guys I don't know.
This girl, D, loves J-guys though and is determined to marry one, good luck to her just don't steal my man biatch.

Oh and for non living in JapanLand people (all 2 of you) I'm sorry, it must be so annoying when I use Japanese words here... here's a little guide of the words I just can't seem to go back into English with:

Obaachan- Grandma
Ryo-chan- Ryota (anyone with 'chan' on the end of their name is just an affectionate term)
Genki- Happy/healthy/lively.... It's a very convenient word...
Ganbaru- Do my best/Try... Sounds crap in English but again, very useful in Japanese...

There are lots more, I'll try and stop doing it though!

Had some annoying in-law activity this week but will save that for tomorrow as I can see Ash about to crack his head open on the coffee table while Ryota watches TV...