Warning!

This post will contain no juicy stories, no profanity, (well, maybe a bit) no sex stories, and, something that I am always very hesitant to post- *gulps nervously* A BABY VIDEO!! And even worse, my baby!
Shock fucking horror! I hate posting shit about Ash, because we all know that the only people who think these sorts of videos are cute and funny and interesting are the parents of the child that happens to be blowing the raspberry or doing baby's first {insert milestone that nobody gives a fuck about here}.

However...

This video shows possibly the only ways Ash is exactly like me... Grumpy as fuck in the morning.

Ash is not like me at all, he looks nothing like me, (well maybe the piggy nose and chubby thighs...) he actually chooses to eat fish and rice for breakfast, he sits on his knees when he's watching telly and is generally very very much like a little mini Ryota. But sometimes, there's this death stare he gets that reminds me so much of myself when I'm pissed off, and I love it. You'll see this death stare in the video where it's like he's saying JUST. FUCK. OFF. WOMAN. with his eyes.

As if this wasn't enough, he also farts at the end which is pretty damn awesome.

I'll set the scene- It's a dreary, rainy morning. Ryota has been up since half-past fuck-off-and-get-back-to-bed, and this is the 4th time I've tried to wake him up. I tried shaking, tickling, threatening to throw Buzz down the stairs but he just wasn't waking up. If only he knew I was just as keen to blow off work and snuggle in with him for the day... God help us all when he's old enough to negotiate and convince me we would both be better off with just 10 more minutes in bed...


Apologies, I tried about 50 times to upload the vid here but ended up wanting to throw my computer out of a very tall building window, so I uploaded it here!

It's times like these my ample gaijin bosom just swells with motherly pride.

Better, much freakin better!

I'm so so happy to report that Ashton is much better and that was the reason he was clingy, I thought it was strange, he's never been clingy before!
He's also bonded with my mum and dad, which is good because in the beginning they seemed to be not interested in him because he was crying all the time and were bonding more with our friend's dog than with him!!!
I guess I'm just used to the Japanese in-laws who really take over Ash wherever we are, but the whole western philosophy of "let the mum take care of her own baby" was a bit hard to get used to again!

I even got out for a run along the beach this morning (even though I had fucking icicles dripping off my nose!!!!), Australia has no winter my arse it's cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey! Uh oh, been around dad too long and am starting to pick up his sayings...

My mum frustrates me sooooo much, as much as I really do love her she annoys the shit out of me, and my dad seems to emanate tension wherever he goes but despite that I do love them and am starting to warm up to the fact that I'm back. The food here is atrocious, as in tastes awesome but I can feel the fat starting to pile on already. I've already had fish and chips twice, red rooster, a pie, twisties, cadbury's.... I need some bland, boring J-food to even me out!! Still running though so I'll use that excuse...

Sorry, incredibly boring stuff but not being doing much. I can't stand Aussie people, they're just so feral. Look at me being all snobby!!! But honestly, I'm missing the para-para girls and boys, at least they don't walk around with their bellies hanging out yelling "Oi fuck off Robbo ya poofta!!!"
haha, Or maybe they do, but it"s lost in a keigo translation whirlwind....

Catching up with my good mate tomorrow night so that should be fun, looking forward to buying some clothes that don't resemble midget gypsies as well!

Welcome... TO FUTON WARS!

Anyone else seen phoenix nights??? No? Righto.

So there is a bastard big family argument going on at the moment, and I was relieved for about 2 seconds because I thought I wasn't actually involved, but noooo, of course I was!

Yesterday I went to MIL's house, (she is still in Thailand, so it's Obaachan, BIl and SIL) where Ryota and Ash were while I was getting some housey shite done, and as I walked in the door, all I heard was Ryo-chan's angry voice growling "Kaero!" (We're going!) and then shoving me back out the door. BIL and SIL were silent and Obaachan was chuntering something in the background so I had no idea what the fuck was going on.

2 cigarettes later Ryota finally told me what happened, but men are quite unreliable when it comes to relaying arguments, they either a) forget important details, b) twist the story so it's not their fault at all, or c) can't be arsed telling you the whole or even half of the story so grunt instead when questioned. I think Ryo-chan managed to combine all 3 of those when he was telling me what happened...

OK I'll back up a bit, I went to the park with SIL on Saturday (great pictures, will post soon!) and when we came back there was a massive futon set dumped in our genkan. My first reaction was, 'fuck me, not another cunting futon, where am I going to put this bastard?!' And then Obaachan came over and informed me that this was for Ashton to sleep on.
I gave in on the futon vs cot debate so Ash now sleeps on the floor NEXT TO his perfectly good, safe, expensive cot. Although I must admit, I do like just rolling over half asleep to pat him back to sleep or whip out some tit without standing up.
So Ash sleeps on a normal mattress with a baby sized futon on top, which he often rolls off but he also rolls off the adult sized mattress, so unless they start making futons as big as our whole entire room, he's gunna roll off the fucker.

I think Obaachan may have still been pissed that I was dissing the whole futon gig and this new futon was an attempt to stop the rolling off issue that I like to bitch about. I got what she said when she said "This is for Ash to sleep on" but I didn't really get the meaning, like we didn't really need the thing. When Ryota got home Saturday and tripped over the futon on the way in I said, "Oh yeh, Obaachan brought it over, I think it's for Ash but I have no idea..."
Ryota then went and asked Obaachan and she said "I fucking told your stupid gaijin wife already!" (well not really, but along those lines in more grandma-like speak).

Ash is pretty sick with a cold so on Saturday night we were busy and both couldn't be arsed taking the fated futon upstairs but when Obaachan came in on Sunday and saw it she gave a little miffed mumbling rant on the fact that we hadn't used the futon. I explained that we were just tired the night before and we'd give it a crack from tonight.
When Ryota went over there apparently (and this is where the details are based purely on Ryota's sketchy account of things!) they got into the conversation again and Ryota said that I couldn't understand Obaachan's Japanese! Which is true a lot of the time, hell I have trouble understanding old people in English, add in the Japanese factor, a sprinkling of Tottori-ben, lots of gutter Osaka-ben and sometimes I just guess a response. I did actually understand the futon conversation, I just didn't get why he needed it... Ya get me...?

Obaachan got pissed then and was all like 'well has she understood anything I've said in the last 2 years!?' and Ryota went into a 'if she speaks to you in English will you understand!?' and it went on from there....
I live in Japan, nobody should have to speak English to me, but I was touched that Ryo-chan would jump to my defence. He also told Obaachan she couldn't just dump things in our house, she should ask first, and that I definitely agree with.

Anyway, Ryota told me he wasn't going to go to the in-laws house ever again , which is a joke because as soon as Ash starts crying when he's looking after him he'll soooo be over there! He told me not to go either but I told him to shove it, it's his beef not mine. Kinda regretted that though when I went over last night and got into a tiff myself with Obaachan over Ashton taking a bath. He had quite a high fever and was all snotty, apparently in Japan a bath is a no-no when there's a fever involved, which I think is bollocks, the fever is taken wayyyy too seriously here in my opinion. Whenever I'd had too much to drink and called in a sickie to work, all I had to do was say I had a fever and any boss/ co-worker would be worried about me, but when I was in Australia I don't think we even had a thermometer in our house!
I knew Ash would feel better after a warm bath so I could get all the snot and muck off his face but Obaachan was all "Fine, ask the doctor when you go tomorrow, he'll tell you!!"
I basically told her straight then that in Australia, it's fine to take a bath, and he was having one.

Ryota still hasn't talked to her but I'm sure he will soon enough. OK, my snot monster just woke up so must go tend to the poor little bugger!

OCD snotty Friday

I've been very OCD with dirt lately, especially when it comes to Ashton's face. Fucking hate it, even though I know that I should just wait until he's finished eating to wipe his face cos it's just going to get dirty all over again.... can't do it. Must wipe after every mouthful. And the little bugger hates it (probably because I do it so much...) I think a bit of dirt is good for a kid too, kids who never get exposed to dirt get sick easily when they are but fuck, I can't stand it!

The fact that Ash caught a cold is not helping the urge to wipe his face, snot is waaayyyyy worse than food as well! He started leaking 'nose water,' as they say in Japanese, yesterday and Ryochan told me he'd go with me to the clinic when he got home from work but by the time Ash woke up it was a snot bonanza and the poor little tyke couldn't drink milk properly because he could hardly breathe through his nose.

So in a bold move, I decided to find the baby clinic on the Internet, (we'd never been before) print off the map, and get in Tay-chan holding Ash with one hand because his old baby seat is too small and he climbs out of it while driving with the other hand.

The in-laws were very shocked at this (in-laws being Obaachan being the only one home), and the shock waves even reached Thailand where MIL was somehow informed I was taking on this impossible task. She mailed me and told me to wait until BIL got home but fuck it, I wanted to go by myself.

I called the clinic and after explaining that I was a foreigner and apologising in advance (since when do foreigners have to apologise for their foreign-ness???) I got directions and confirmed there was free parking at the clinic. And fuck me, I made it there! It was actually pretty easy to find, I even wrote my address in kanji like a big girl and filled in the whole form with Ash's info.

This simple task was actually a big effort for me, I forget that I used to survive in JapanLand even when I understood jack shit, didn't have a car and had noooo idea of any of the wacky systems such as going to a secret backdoor window to receive medicine after seeing the doc.

Ash's cold was confirmed and I was given his medicine and instructions all in (very fast) Japanese which may have been a test because after the Doc said my Japanese was great and he didn't need to use the little English he knows. I assured him that any English he used would be greatly appreciated on my part and did a big hearty "Yoroshiku onegaishimasu" and was on my way home!

In-laws were flabbergasted at my achievement and it felt good to actually show them I could do something by myself.

Anyway, Ash is on the mend and I'm trying very hard to not rub his nose too much and make it all red. I need some of those aloe tissues from home!

OK, this week's photos are pretty boring, I'm just not snapping as much as I used to, have to go on some photography field trips soon.

Old school photo of the week, getting fucked up on box wine in a park in Osaka...

My metabolic son, check the belly!

My scraped up arm from the stairs fall

Ash eating the table, as you do...

My bruised arm

I'm looking forward to the long long weekend this weekend, suckers not in Japan, enjoy your pissy 2 day weekend!

Foto Friday PLUS today only!! Bonus in-law rant!

Weeks are flying by, less than 3 weeks until I'm back in Aussie. Kind of looking forward to it in that will be great to see everyone and everyone will be thrilled to see Ash, (and take him off my hands hehe) but will definitely miss Ryota and being 'home.'

Had a few in-law incidents over the past few weeks, we're in a futon debate at the moment, all the in-laws are fighting for Ash to be out of the crib and on to a futon. I'm not against futons, fuck I like them, sleep on one! But we spent $400 on the freakin baby bed, it's taking up room, he should sleep in it! Plus, it's a safe place for him, he's into everything at the moment, we're baby proofing like crazy. It's the only place where he can't chew the shit out of something that will get lodged in his throat. Everyone here insists that he's waking up because he's hitting his legs and arms on the crib but I think it's bullshit, we tried him on the futon one night and he rolled off on to the tatami and woke up anyway. So for now he stays, I'm the one who gets up anyway!

The main in-law problem lately has been SIL. moody little bitch has been hell to be around lately. She's always been moody and that's partly why I like her, she's unpredictable and kind of bitchy to people who piss her off, but her latest hissy fit is the most childish thing I've ever heard. She's jealous because her Dad wouldn't buy her a jacket she wanted.... Ummm can you say 12 years old???

Basically, SIL really doesn't like her Dad, she's still cut about how he left her mum, and that's cool, FIL was a right wanker at the time, she has every right to still be pissed. So she never goes to see him or calls him, even when BIL and Ryota and I go, she stays home. FIL always asks about her and what she's doing and we usually make some excuse like she's working because we can see the hurt look on his face.

FIL is pretty generous (making up for bad fathering perhaps??) and always buys us little (or big, kitchen chairs, finally, woooohoooo!) prezzies. He bought Ash a new high chair the other day and BIL some ridiculously over-priced anti-balding shampoo and SIL was miffed when she heard about this. So she called FIl and without even saying "How are you?" first said, "Can you buy me this jacket I want on the Internet?? Just give me your card number..."

I was gobsmacked when I heard that, sooooo cheeky!

I honestly think if she'd asked FIL if they could go shopping together for her winter jacket he would have jumped at the chance, but as expected he said no. Thank god, I would have really lost respect for him if he'd said yes.

Anyway, since then, SIL has been in a foul mood towards everyone, including Ash, which just isn't fair. She thinks that we shouldn't go to FIL's house but fuck, that's our choice not hers. (Plus, I need some new bedding! ;) Ryota got so sick of it he went off his nut the other night and basically said he didn't care whether she was family or not, a bitch is a bitch. It was harsh but even Grandma and MIL told her she was being an arsehole, and since then she's been back to normal. Gotta love Japan and the feeling burying tactics that go on then get smoothed over until someone goes crazy with a knife at Akihabara station....

Been a few other things like Grandma telling me Ash is too cold because his shoulders aren't covered but nothing a few "Sou ne's" can't fix.

OK here are this week's piccies!

Old school! Was having contractions here, hence the timing sheet next to me! なつかしいいいい！

Ash has taken to shouting into wrapping paper then waiting for a reply, very cute.

Drunken photo from the end of the wedding, Ryo-chan looks like he's gunna keel over!

Was this little man's birthday party the other day, we had lots of fun, Happy Birthday Raiden kun! Check out his mummy's cool blog here!

We loooovvvveee yoghurt!

Weekend part two...

Little late, the next weekend is almost here!

We went and visited our friend Sayuri on Sunday and her little girl Sakura. Sakura is 1 year old and Sayuri is 8 months preggers with the next one!!! Super woman?? Mad woman?? I'm going to go with Fucking insane woman. To have two ankle biters that close together is beyond my imagination.

Sakura and Ash were very friendly with each other and I'm hoping they will get married one day and have lovely little half-half kiddies.

I feel bad for Sayuri, her hub is Australian and not the best hub from what I hear. Arrested for drug possession, lost his licence for drink driving, living with his alcoholic mother, smokes in front of the babies...Cock. Now I remember why I could never go back to Aussie brutes. Her mum is also battling breast cancer and is quite ill. I wish Sayuri would leave Australia and live in Japan, I have a funny feeling she might one day... Anywhooo, here are some pictures from Sunday.

Ryo-chan gearing up for the 2 kiddy hold.

Ash and his hair pulling tactics the big flirt.

They were sharing toys like pros.

Ash didn't appreciate the pink hat...

Awesome weekend part 1

I'm incredibly pleased to announce that Ash is back to normal, only one wake up last night and he didn't drink milk, so all is good in our house! His nappy seems to not fit as well, maybe it was a growth spurt?? And he is pulling himself up at the moment... Who freakin' knows with babies, I think I'll just have to go with the flow for the next 18 years until I can throw him out of the house and go on a world trip...

This weekend was great fun, hectic, but fun. Again, I can't be arsed writing everything so I'll write about my Saturday now and my Sunday at some other time. Got some great snaps though, couldn't put the camera down!

Saturday started off pretty shitty, I was looking forward to seeing my hot hairdresser to get a cut and colour but when I got to the salon I got lots of bows and some bullshit excuse that hot hairdresser was sick. Phhhffft, sick my left tit, he's such a yankee I bet he was out on the piss all night, which actually makes me love him even more...

Anyway, I got stuck with a short weedy guy who apparently is the 'top stylist.' I was miffed seeing as though I'd booked a week in advance, and even more miffed when they stuck me with the big-haired, para-para assistant to do my colour. She was wearing white ugg-boots and that was enough to turn me off her, but then she had to ask whether or not she uses foil for mesh, even I know you use foil, twit! She didn't say a word to me the whole time and was shit scared of me I think, seeing as though I did a huge cross sign with my arms and said "No gold or orange!!!" before she put the colour on.

The colour didn't turn out too bad, despite weedy stylist sucking air through his teeth and saying the colour I wanted was very difficult. Fuck me, hot hairdresser managed it, can't be that hard! Para-para assistant was shoved off to sweep up hair and weedy stylist began to cut my hair, once he loosened up he was pretty cool. I was planning on just a trim but when he started taming my mullet I realised I couldn't handle the long bits at the back and short front bits at the front that hot hairdresser had done a few months before so I just had him hack it all off to one length, it's very short but feels good and I'm pretty happy with it.

After the haircut we got ready for our friends' wedding party. It was my first wedding in Japan and I must say it was fun but a total rip off, I was disgruntled about this the whole time so made sure I milked my $70 for as much wine as I could... How do I put this? I was fucked. Sozzled. Pissed. Drunk as a skunk. Smashed. Trolleyed. Destroyed. Loaded. More than tipsy. Smished..... It was so good!!

We also when to a bar after where I downed a fair amount of hoegarden beer to top it off, which I love!

Ryo-chan also had a skin-full after his 4(!) rum and cokes and we both stumbled home to the reality of our little monster. Speaking of which, MIL was babysitting him and he had gone to sleep but woke up just as she was about to come pick us up. Everyone else was in bed so she had to bring him with her on her back... I found this quite amusing at the time in my drunken state, but now I think about it, how safe can this really be....?

MIL driving with Ash on her back, he seemed quited content...

Cos the car just wasn't dangerous enough...

Ryo-chan drunk chuckling in disbelief at his own Mother's recklessness...

And now for some wedding pics! The couple are so lovely, Euan is Scottish. Was a great night!

Ryo-chan and the groom

Beautiful!


My favourite picture of the night.

Foto friday, sleepless nights, walk-out fights, desperate D gossip, more fights and a partridge in a fucking pear tree.

This past few days have been a crazy whirlwind of stress and divorce threatening, I feel like an old woman!
I'm also running on very little sleep for the past 3 nights so please forgive the spelling and grammar mistakes that will be scattered through this post... I did title this post 'Men and babies. HAD IT!' But Ryota and I are now happily back to love love mode so I can't really say that now.

OK going to break it down into categories becasue I can't be arsed writing a fluid composition of topics...

Sleepless nights-
Ashton is going through a stage (please god let it just be a stage...) of waking up every 2 hours at night. This means I get no sleep at all basically as it takes me a long time to fall asleep anyway. Last night was better, I got about 4 hours I think. This also means Ryota gets interrupted sleep, and when you've got to get up at 5:30am that's no fun either.

Walk-out fights-
Due to lack of sleep on both our parts we've been extremly irritable. The other night this led to a fight where I threatened to leave but Ryota ended up leaving instead. I was soooo fucking angry!
This is how it went down; Ryota got home late which pisses me off to begin with (despite it not being his fault). Then I asked him to finish giving Ash his dinner so I could make our dinner. Ryota is pretty shit at feeding Ash, he gives up way too quickly and has no patience, sometimes I think he's doing it on purpose becasue it's just too tedious. Ash was really sleepy so he asked me what he should do. I possibly used a tone like, 'are you a fucking moron, put him to sleep' when I said "give him some juice and a dummy and rock him to sleep". I was busy with dinner by this point and Ash went to sleep pretty quickly. Ryota hadn't got the futon out beforehand and got panicky when he realised he couldn't put him down. He then said to me in an extremly harsh tone: "Can you fucking help me!?"
I was fucking fuming at that point, what the fuck does he think I do all day by myself??? *Deep breaths...*
After Ash was sleeping I closed the door and we started screaming at each other which led to the leaving...blah blah...drama drama.
I went after him when he left and we made up. All good. Except some of that argument wasn't resolved and carried on to the next night's fight....

Desperate D gossip-
OK I wrote about D, Ryota's friend who had a thing for Ryota a while back. Well, she called Ryota last night in tears and she had a massive fight with her boyfriend becasue his mother doesn't like her and he booked her a flight today, 3 weeks early!!!! What a fucking spinelesss cock smoker!! He's 30 fucking years old and he's listening to what his mummy has to say??? I feel bad for her, she seemed really upset.

More fights-
OK, kinda carry over from original fight but the night before last I'd literally had no sleep at all and when Ash woke up for the fourth time I started sobbing. Now this isn't unusual for me, I'm a total cry baby. 24 hour TV, cried like a big baby, movies, sad, angry, I cry. I was just so exhausted that I needed to cry. Ryota also woke up and asked me "Are you ok?" But not in a , 'aww poor thing' kind of way, in a 'fucking hell woman what are you crying about?' way. When I told him I was tired he said it was my fault for not sleeping in the day. Ash sleeps about 30 minutes during his daytime nap and that precious time is used for cleaning or doing some other shite that Ryota has no idea about. I got a bit emotionally over-tired hysterical then and we had another round but I had no fight just tears in me.
End result, Ryota realised he'd been a wanky husband and apologised profusely the next day and even got up with me when Ash woke up last night, which isn't necessary, just a bit of compassion is all I need.

Phew.

All good now, looking forward to this weekend, getting my hair done, going to a wedding and then visiting our friend in Nara.

This week's pics, pretty boring sorry!

Ash destroying my well kept shelf. (Note the rodeo boy holding a towel and a plate...)

Telling Daddy a secret...

Me and Ash with Tay-chan

Dinner at outback

Helping grandma with a box cutting project.

The tooth hurts

You know all those millions of pamphlets they give you when you're pregnant, the ones saying how good it is for your baby to breastfeed him? How close you'll feel to him, how it's the best possible thing to do for your baby? The ones with the pictures of cute, calm babies, gazing into their beautiful, perfectly made-up mother's eyes while suckling at the breast? You know the ones right??

Not once in those bullshit pamphlets does it mention the searing pain of a new formed, fresh-out-of-the-gum tooth noshing into your nipple. Bloody load of shite pamphlet.
I'm seriously finding myself getting sweaty palms and nervous tummy every booby time. And the little bastard giggles every time he has a chomp and I yank my boob away crying and rocking and clutch it while the pain dies down.
Of course, the husband saying まぁ赤ちゃんしょうがないね、(which roughly translates as "Can't be helped love, now suck it up, shut your trap and get your tits out for the boy!" )doesn't help much, and the gaggle of in-laws wanting to see him and his 'cute' biting techniques isn't exactly making it any easier either. maybe I should pop him on one of their nipples and let him have a chew, see if they think it's cute then.

Obon is still dragging on, I was going crazy with a messy house this morning so sent Ryota off to the in-laws with bitey boy and told him not to come back until I had cleaned the whole house. Got interrupted twice with Ashton doing two humongous shits that Ryota was incapable of dealing with, apparently piss nappies are fine but mummy has to deal with the shitty ones, where the fuck did that rule come from?? He was so pathetic when he asked me I couldn't say no though, this is how it went:

Him: (timidly poking head in door) Corinne, Ashton did another huge poo... What should I do??
Me: (turning off the vacuum cleaner and turning Britney down) What do you mean 'what should I do'??? Deal with it!
Him: But it's really big, I think you should check, I don't know what to do...
Me: (Many expletives)

I asked him what he would do if I died or got sick but that was a stupid question, like a lot of Japanese men, he would palm him off to the in-laws. Silly me.

Ryota goes back to work tomorrow which will be nice to get the routine back, but then it has been nice to have him around more, and Ashton is so much happier with people other than me to stimulate his little brain.

OK, must go running or I never will!

Boooooorrrriiiinnnnngggggggggg!

First of all, a big congratulations to the 'Niigata nimpu,' (thanks gaijin wife's hubby!) Sarah on finally giving birth to her little girl Sakura, we were all eagerly waiting!

I cannot wait to start working again, this get up, wash, feed, play, cook, sleep routine is getting old quickly and it will be nice when I start working, Ryota won't have to work on Saturdays poor thing.

Things have been much too quiet for my liking lately, there's nothing really to look forward to, although I am embarking on a girl's day field trip this weekend in the car. I'm picking up the girls and we're off to Nishinomiya gardens for some shopping and lunch (and cold stone ice cream, singing woohoo!) I'm a bit nervous about driving on a Saturday, especially in Ryota's whale of a car. Ganbaru!

My little Ash is 6 months old today, half a year! Go team! It's gone quickly in a way but in other ways it feels like a lifetime ago that I was in Aussie giving birth, and even longer when I found out I was preggers. I should count my blessings really, life is boring at the moment but at least there are no shocks like that one was!

I'd known Ryota less than 2 months when I found out I was pregnant, crazy! I remember being in Starbucks with him one day and thinking it had been a while since I'd had a visit from auntie Flow, thinking out loud (in English seeing as though I thought the Starbucks customers might not appreciate that kind of information with their cherry chocolate latte) Ryota gave me a big hug and said he didn't care if I was pregnant, he'd love to have a baby. I stored that away in the memory bank for the time when I told him I actually was preggers!

When I took the test I thought I was reading the kanji wrong and asked him to read it for me and he was like "Errm, no, your kanji reading is spot on..." Much freaking out later we just decided to deal and make the best of it, and we have!

I'm currently addicted to toasted sandwiches, sounds healthy doesn't it, toasted? But I'm talking put in a frying pan with oil and butter until the cheese is all melty and the bread is all crispy, yummy! I dread to think of the calorie content. Must rodeo boy extra hard today. Rodeo boy is still keeping my interest surprisingly, (probably because I'm so bored with everything else!) but I've lost weight on my upper legs not my tummy, who cares, I've lost somewhere, that's all that matters!

The in-laws haven't been pissing me off too much recently either, there was a slight incident this morning, I went to the post office loaded up with packages for my sister's birthday and two friends who wanted happy town and hi-chus to send off. As I was leaving this was the convo I had with MIL:

MIL: Where are you going with those?!
Me: The post office.
MIL: Do you know how to send them?
Me: Yes, I'll be fine, thank you. BAI BAI!

If I had any balls this is how the convo would have gone:

MIL: Where are you going with those?
Me: To the moon you twit, where do you think I'm going with 3 post boxes with big posting things stuck to them??
MIL: Do you know how to send them? (You dense gaijin)
Me: How fucking long do you think I've lived in this country? I'm not a moron, and I'm more than capable of sending a box to Australia, stop fucking asking me if I can do things like I'm 5 fucking years old! If I need your help I'm not mute either, I'll ask. BAI BAI!

She's just being nice but it really does make me feel like an idiot when she does it. Whatever, if that's the biggest problem I have I'm doing good right.

Hoping this week goes fast, looking forward to the ice cream and 3 clucky 30-something-year-old women to take Ashton while I shop my little heart out!

Sunday catch up lunch

I feel bad with Ryota only having Sunday off work, I always seem to drag him to some event I have or some crazy shopping expedition.

Yesterday was a lunch for some of my old students and friends, two of them are getting married so it was a 'well done, congrats, here's my 2000 yen to chuck in for the prezzie' kind of thing. The last time I saw them I just had a belly, so they were all chuffed to meet little Ash and one of the girls had a baby a month before me so I wanted to see who was cuter (Ash won by a mile hehe) just kidding. But not really... You be the judge, I'll put photos.

He did win in the growing stakes though, he is about 4 kilos heavier and much bigger than little Kouta kun and would definitely win in a fight, he proved that when he almost yanked the kid's ears off when he could get close enough. I had my first real motherly pride yesterday though, Kouta was screaming and carrying on (like Ash usually does) while Ash looked on in bemused wonder and smiled at everyone with his goofy, gummy grin. He didn't cry once and had no trouble being held by everyone. *sniff* Love it when my baby isn't being the little shit, it almost makes me slip back into my high and mighty role of muttering annoyed customer mumbling 'Can't she shut that kid up?'

I've always wanted my kids to be able to be passed around and not just want their mummy and daddy and I'm glad Ryota is on the same page, yesterday we sat in a Japanese style private room so stroller couldn't get it, Ryota was like "Soo.... who wants to hold the cute jumbo gaijin baby?!" translation- Don't just say he's cute, put that theory into action people, let's pass the little bastard around the table so we have time to eat! Ash was passed around the whole table and loved it, definitely going to dump him with anyone who is willing from now on.

It was good fun, my witty Japanese conversation skills flourished and it became apparent how much my ex-students have forgotten any of the English I had taught them. Ryota had basically never met anyone there so he was also impressed with my usually shy personality morphing into an entertainer that could have been straight out of a Gion tea house. I think I'm so sick of talking to the vacuum cleaner and washing machine that real people was a big treat.

Enough rabbiting, here are some photos from the day...

First meeting, just before the ear pulling began...

Awwwww!!!!

Pass the baby! (If you unwrap him you get a stinky surprise!)

One of Kouta-kun's many awesomely not-my-baby, loud hissy fits.

Now this is just fucking freaky....

P.S. I'm so fucked off with all this rain, what is a housewife with husband's work clothes to do!?

Slight MIL tiff or maybe just my bad mood

Thank you for all the get well wishes! They worked, or at least the antibiotics did! My tonsils are about half the size they were and only the bottom of them are covered in white muck, they still hurt a bit but nothing compared to what they were. As I type I am actually patiently waiting for little Ash to wake up so I can dump him drop him off at the in-laws and go for a run!

Yesterday was not the best day. It started by the big glass framed picture of Ash that I have been asking Ryota to put on the wall for at least 3 weeks smashing because it was resting against the wall. It really freaked me out because the night before, MIL dropped her mobile phone smashing the screen, so now we have her phone with a picture of Ash as her background all smashed and his little face behind the smashed glass frame, freaky!

Anyway, after the glass incident I accidentally fucked up SIL's camera somehow, not deleting the photos when I copied them to my computer, but for some reason they don't appear on her camera anymore when she switches it on. Then it all went downhill because we went to SSOK, or ソック　in Japanese.

Has anyone been there?? It's in Mino, which I guess is about half an hour, 40 minutes from Osaka. There are lots of warehouse type shops but they are all waayyyy too swanky to get any real warehouse shopping bargains. I should have known.

5 reasons I don't like SSOK:

1) It looks exactly like a department store
2) It's really not that cheap
3) They don't allow bags of any kind or strollers, it's wallet only.
4) They don't allow strollers and I happen to have an incredibly heavy 4 month old
5) The name SSOK annoys me and sounds like sock

WTF is with the no stroller rule?! Discrimination much?? I wonder if they allow wheelchairs? I'm guessing not. Is it to reduce shoplifting??? Because if it is, they are sooooo silly, they have double the staff at the registers so they can seal your bags up with 400 meters of tape. The money they save on shrinkage from shoplifting is nothing compared to the overheads from staff salaries they must be paying.
You also need a card to get in and the lady informed us that only 2 people could enter on one card, so MIL went to register for another card but the lady got distracted and about 20 people strolled in without being checked if they had a card. Not. Happy. Jan.

On to the 'I was annoyed with MIL to the point my face flushed red.' Note that because I'd taken a disliking to SSOK I was probably cranky already.
Luckily for us, we have one of those BabyBjorn holdy thingies that we could have shoved Ash in. But nooooo that would be way too easy, becasue my family-in-law like to show off with Ash, BIL decided he would hold him. I grumbled that the baby sling had no meaning, but whatever, if he wants to get a backache from holding him on one side that's his choice.
After BIL complained about said backache (try doing it everyday wimpy!) MIL took over with holding him. when MIL's back got sore she said she would hold him in the sling. This is when I got peeved.
The sling is pretty annoying actually, it's not one of those nice, hippy, one piece of material ones, it's one with all kinds of hooks and belts on it, and me being a big boobed giant, it's set just right for me. I explained this to MIL and said I was fine to hold him, as the sling was already on my back and ready for him just to slide in.

MIL protested. I said I'd hold him. She said she would hold him. This went on for I swear about 5 minutes until I said strongly and with my flushed face that it was easier if I held him. Put. Him. In. Now.

There was no argument and it is a tiny thing, but sometimes I feel like my voice is lost in translation somewhere, I shouldn't have to say something a million times before I'm heard.
I appreciate all MIL's help, I really do, and I need it living here. But they sometimes forget that lived in Japan for 3 years by myself and did just fine. If I can do something, I want to try and do it myself.

I overreacted a bit to the holder thing but I really think it was a build up of a lot of things lately where I'm starting to feel like a baby who can't do anything by herself.

Anyway, Ashton boy is hollerin' so I'm off for a run! That 10km isn't going to run itself in November!

Thuggin'

Nooh mentioned she could imagine Ash as a little bad boy harley rider and Nay said she'd like to see more photos of Ash... so here you are girls, my little gangsta in all his bad ass glory!!!

Move over biatches, the demanding gaijin and her jumbo sized baby are in town!

I got my hair done today! Yay! It took 5 freakin hours but it was worth it, it was also 5 hours of chatting with my Hide-kun who I have a major crush on, damn shame we were talking about Ryota most of the time. hehe

I promised myself I wasn't going to go blond again because it is too hard and expensive to maintain, but I really do prefer being blond, it just makes me feel better. So I got some more blond and a cut today.

My Hide-kun was nervous today, I was very much fitting the demanding gaijin stereotype. I brought a picture with me (of Victoria Beckham bizarrely, it was just the right colour) and explained to him that if I walked out of the salon with a shock of orange hair which is what I have got in the past when I've asked for blond in Japan, I would be very angry and have to give him a spanking. Ewwww, haha OK I didn't say that but I made it very clear with what I wanted which I don't usually do.
He went to work, picture in one hand, colouring brush in the other and kept nervously checking the colour while I watched like a hawk. Poor pet, I really do love him. I think there's a picture of him on the salon website, I'll try and post it.

5 reasons I love Japanese hair salons.
#1- The head and shoulder massages are soooooo good.
#2- They chat to you just the right amount.
#3- You can watch DVDs while your hair is done.
#4- They have wicked good drinks, not just tea and coffee.
#5- They follow you out the door bowing and screaming 'thank you' until they can't see you anymore.

Yesterday Ashton had his 4 month check-up. It was nothing like I imagined, every 4 month old and their mama from the city was there, literally!
I got the usual glance to me, glance to MIL and gawk at Ashton with an occasional "Ohhh he's so white!" thrown in, which is fine.
We all had to line up with our little neked, squirming bundles for weighing and measuring and stuff. I was stalking the other baby's nappies and they were ALL S or M size!! The L stamped on the bum of Ash's nappy seemed to stand out so much more because I was looking.


So when we got to the weigh in table, he was put on the scale and in an extremely loud voice the lady exclaimed "9.5KG'S!!?? HE'S THE BIGGEST BABY HERE TODAY! OUR SCALE ONLY GOES TO 10! LUCKY HE'S NOT ANY BIGGER!!!" I slinked away red-faced with my economy sized offspring but saw all the other mums were giving me encouraging smiles so I didn't feel that bad. Out of 60 babies, he was the biggest in weight and length! (When do babies graduate from being long to being tall?? When they can walk??)
He's fine though, no problems to report and the nice doc assured me because he's also very long, (69cm) it just means he's going to be tall and he's all balanced out. Phew!


Also, as per Sara's request, here is the picture of the mug I got Ryota for father's day, or rather a picture of me trying to balance a baby and a mug while taking a picture...

Take 1...

Take 2...

Hope everyone has a great and safe weekend!

Think I pissed my mother-in-law off...?

But this is Japan where nobody will outright tell you they're cheesed off with you, so I can't be sure.

We live VERY close to our in-laws, as in 2 leaps away, however I do have quite long legs so I'm going to say 4 steps. Those of you who live in Japan will understand how close houses can be, in Aussie terms the only way I can describe it is like a block of townhouses where the one directly in front of ours is the in-law's house. (I'll try and take a photo and put it up here)
I was very worried at first, but seeing as though we are paying only 30,000 yen a month for quite a nice two-storey house, we really couldn't pass on it.

It has good and bad points, the good usually outweighing the bad, for example, as I type this I am munching on 'happy town' snacks and sipping coffee, Ashton boy is off with MIL on a shopping trip, so having them so close by is a big help to me. It's also good if i run out of something or need to borrow something, things like that.

My MIL really isn't the interfering type and is not old school medalling at all but we do have our differences.
In the past, whenever we have been out in public she refuses to let anyone else hold Ash, even when she's busy filling out forms or whatever, probably just grandchild pride but does irritate me a bit. Another thing that irks me a little is the fact that if Ash is crying, (as babies will do) Grandma-in-law will be over to our house in a flash asking what's wrong with him....Err, he's a baby...? hehe But overall, they are great and I like living so close, I'd probably get lonely otherwise.

So I think I may have pissed MIL off a bit with the issue of giving Ash a bottle. From the beginning I made it clear I wanted to exclusively breastfeed until he was about 6 months old but be up for starting solids/other liquids from about 4 months or if he seemed ready. From when I came back to Japan, (Ash was 6 weeks old) MIL would subtly slip in how much easier it would be to give him formula, how I could sleep better blah blah blah. I smiled and nodded, then got my boobies out.
I'm very happy I'm still able to breastfeed, I have nothing against bottle feeding but it was just what I wanted to do.

As soon as I got back to Japan, MIL brought over some of those little mugi-cha for babies drinks. What is mugi-cha?? Does it have caffeine?? Because as far as I know, in Aussie, tea is a no no for babies. I told her this and even though it says they can drink it from 1 month on, I pretty much told her straight out that I didn't think he needed any other liquids yet. All good, mugi-cha goes in the cupboard.
Not much mentioned, until the other day when the mugi-cha came out again. It's been quite hot lately and I was thinking of giving Ash a bottle of water, so I agreed to try him with the mugi-cha but I really wasn't all that keen and the look on my face probably showed that.

Ash took the bottle no problem, but as soon as he started drinking his face screwed up with a 'this isn't freakin warm, sweet milk!!' look. I must say, I got a bit of satisfaction knowing that he didn't like it, if he had gulped it down MIL would have had an oppourtunity to shove other stuff down his throat, and there's a nice warm fuzzy feeling from your son needing you and only you. After Ash showed he clearly didn't like it I wanted to stop but MIL kept persisting until I said in a pretty shrill voice, "Stop it, we don't give kids tea in Australia!!" I really didn't mean to come out the way it did and I think MIL was alittle bit shocked, I'm not usually so straight.

Anyway, after that day she was a little bit distant...funny, I don't know, just not usual, so she might have been pissed off. I'm not that bothered though, it's really the only issue we have had so far so I think we're doing pretty good! I am a bit concerned about the future though when Ash is eating solids, I can see him eating all kinds of stuff I don't want him to when he's over there, I'll just have to put my foot down I think.

Another thing I found funny with the in-laws was the whole, 'I can't fight with my family' thing. Recently my SIL and BIL went to Thailand and stayed with a friend of the family who owns a guest house there. SIL got offended at something that was said and basically went mental at the friend in Thailand (friend is Japanese). I was really shocked at this, SIL is always very polite and quiet, I didn't expect it. She told me that she can be angry at friends no problem becasue she can just wipe them from her life, but she can't be angry with family because you can never get rid of them!
haha I thought that was funny, and realised my family is kind of the opposite, I can fight with my mum, dad and sister because I know we'll forgive each other, but I'm more reserved with friends, I'm not really sure why! Maybe because I know I can lose them quite easily???

Anyway, we're having dinner over there tonight so MIL couldn't have been too angry with me! On the driving front, I've now driven the nice smooth family car, been scootering like an Osaka Obachan pro and even been out AND parked the big whale of a land cruiser. Driving here isn't that hard eh! Everyone goes much slower and is much more forgiving when changing lanes etc. So I'm getting pretty confident! (Scooter will take a while though!!)

I best go collect my son, MIL might be giving him black coffee or vodka shots or something!

Wife of the year, right here!

After Sunday's blow-up I felt really bad, especially after talking to other gaijin mama's who got the exact same treatment, it wasn't just Ryota being a dick. Phew.

So I took the time yesterday to do what a good Japanese wifey would do, and said it with food. I made Ryota's favourite dinner and then a ごめんなさい cake (Sorry cake). Isn't it purrrdy! (And so sickly and corny that you wanna vomit all over it!)

Ryota and I hardly ever fight so in one way it upsets me when we do, but on the other hand it does make me remember how much I appreciate having him. As far as men go, he's one of the good guys and supported me 100% when I got pregnant, where I think a lot of guys would have run for the hills!

In other news I'm now officially scamming receiving unemployment benefits!!

WooHoo that's got to be on a goal list of mine somewhere, to be on the dole in Japan. But hey, I worked for 4 years paying that tax that I never knew what was for! I went to the Hello work office today and it was packed! But the advantage of not being Japanese came in handy again, they got all panicky at the sight of a foreigner and stamped my little paper straight away, 10 minutes for about 200,000 yen.

And lucky it didn't take too long, I was not in a good mood today after Ashton boy kept me up last night, no wonder he was so tired, here's a picture of him this morning.

"Flat out like a lizrd drinking eh cobber!"

First post...

Well I've tried to do the blogging thing before and never had the patience. Let's see how long this lasts! I'm actually going to tell people the address this time in the hope it will motivate me to do it.

Plus I've decided I need a place to vent. Getting married and having a baby in Japan isn't half as easy as I thought it would be and I find myself going a little bit mental sometimes when I have nowhere to rant about how much I hate/love Japan and my life here.

Foreigners who live in Japan will get the love hate thing, it is so very very true.

So welcome, I hope my blog can provide some entertainment, and it's also a place for me to shamelessly brag about my beautiful little boy, Ashton.

Isn't he cuuuuttttteee!!!!????