Welcome... TO FUTON WARS!

Anyone else seen phoenix nights??? No? Righto.

So there is a bastard big family argument going on at the moment, and I was relieved for about 2 seconds because I thought I wasn't actually involved, but noooo, of course I was!

Yesterday I went to MIL's house, (she is still in Thailand, so it's Obaachan, BIl and SIL) where Ryota and Ash were while I was getting some housey shite done, and as I walked in the door, all I heard was Ryo-chan's angry voice growling "Kaero!" (We're going!) and then shoving me back out the door. BIL and SIL were silent and Obaachan was chuntering something in the background so I had no idea what the fuck was going on.

2 cigarettes later Ryota finally told me what happened, but men are quite unreliable when it comes to relaying arguments, they either a) forget important details, b) twist the story so it's not their fault at all, or c) can't be arsed telling you the whole or even half of the story so grunt instead when questioned. I think Ryo-chan managed to combine all 3 of those when he was telling me what happened...

OK I'll back up a bit, I went to the park with SIL on Saturday (great pictures, will post soon!) and when we came back there was a massive futon set dumped in our genkan. My first reaction was, 'fuck me, not another cunting futon, where am I going to put this bastard?!' And then Obaachan came over and informed me that this was for Ashton to sleep on.
I gave in on the futon vs cot debate so Ash now sleeps on the floor NEXT TO his perfectly good, safe, expensive cot. Although I must admit, I do like just rolling over half asleep to pat him back to sleep or whip out some tit without standing up.
So Ash sleeps on a normal mattress with a baby sized futon on top, which he often rolls off but he also rolls off the adult sized mattress, so unless they start making futons as big as our whole entire room, he's gunna roll off the fucker.

I think Obaachan may have still been pissed that I was dissing the whole futon gig and this new futon was an attempt to stop the rolling off issue that I like to bitch about. I got what she said when she said "This is for Ash to sleep on" but I didn't really get the meaning, like we didn't really need the thing. When Ryota got home Saturday and tripped over the futon on the way in I said, "Oh yeh, Obaachan brought it over, I think it's for Ash but I have no idea..."
Ryota then went and asked Obaachan and she said "I fucking told your stupid gaijin wife already!" (well not really, but along those lines in more grandma-like speak).

Ash is pretty sick with a cold so on Saturday night we were busy and both couldn't be arsed taking the fated futon upstairs but when Obaachan came in on Sunday and saw it she gave a little miffed mumbling rant on the fact that we hadn't used the futon. I explained that we were just tired the night before and we'd give it a crack from tonight.
When Ryota went over there apparently (and this is where the details are based purely on Ryota's sketchy account of things!) they got into the conversation again and Ryota said that I couldn't understand Obaachan's Japanese! Which is true a lot of the time, hell I have trouble understanding old people in English, add in the Japanese factor, a sprinkling of Tottori-ben, lots of gutter Osaka-ben and sometimes I just guess a response. I did actually understand the futon conversation, I just didn't get why he needed it... Ya get me...?

Obaachan got pissed then and was all like 'well has she understood anything I've said in the last 2 years!?' and Ryota went into a 'if she speaks to you in English will you understand!?' and it went on from there....
I live in Japan, nobody should have to speak English to me, but I was touched that Ryo-chan would jump to my defence. He also told Obaachan she couldn't just dump things in our house, she should ask first, and that I definitely agree with.

Anyway, Ryota told me he wasn't going to go to the in-laws house ever again , which is a joke because as soon as Ash starts crying when he's looking after him he'll soooo be over there! He told me not to go either but I told him to shove it, it's his beef not mine. Kinda regretted that though when I went over last night and got into a tiff myself with Obaachan over Ashton taking a bath. He had quite a high fever and was all snotty, apparently in Japan a bath is a no-no when there's a fever involved, which I think is bollocks, the fever is taken wayyyy too seriously here in my opinion. Whenever I'd had too much to drink and called in a sickie to work, all I had to do was say I had a fever and any boss/ co-worker would be worried about me, but when I was in Australia I don't think we even had a thermometer in our house!
I knew Ash would feel better after a warm bath so I could get all the snot and muck off his face but Obaachan was all "Fine, ask the doctor when you go tomorrow, he'll tell you!!"
I basically told her straight then that in Australia, it's fine to take a bath, and he was having one.

Ryota still hasn't talked to her but I'm sure he will soon enough. OK, my snot monster just woke up so must go tend to the poor little bugger!

OCD snotty Friday

I've been very OCD with dirt lately, especially when it comes to Ashton's face. Fucking hate it, even though I know that I should just wait until he's finished eating to wipe his face cos it's just going to get dirty all over again.... can't do it. Must wipe after every mouthful. And the little bugger hates it (probably because I do it so much...) I think a bit of dirt is good for a kid too, kids who never get exposed to dirt get sick easily when they are but fuck, I can't stand it!

The fact that Ash caught a cold is not helping the urge to wipe his face, snot is waaayyyyy worse than food as well! He started leaking 'nose water,' as they say in Japanese, yesterday and Ryochan told me he'd go with me to the clinic when he got home from work but by the time Ash woke up it was a snot bonanza and the poor little tyke couldn't drink milk properly because he could hardly breathe through his nose.

So in a bold move, I decided to find the baby clinic on the Internet, (we'd never been before) print off the map, and get in Tay-chan holding Ash with one hand because his old baby seat is too small and he climbs out of it while driving with the other hand.

The in-laws were very shocked at this (in-laws being Obaachan being the only one home), and the shock waves even reached Thailand where MIL was somehow informed I was taking on this impossible task. She mailed me and told me to wait until BIL got home but fuck it, I wanted to go by myself.

I called the clinic and after explaining that I was a foreigner and apologising in advance (since when do foreigners have to apologise for their foreign-ness???) I got directions and confirmed there was free parking at the clinic. And fuck me, I made it there! It was actually pretty easy to find, I even wrote my address in kanji like a big girl and filled in the whole form with Ash's info.

This simple task was actually a big effort for me, I forget that I used to survive in JapanLand even when I understood jack shit, didn't have a car and had noooo idea of any of the wacky systems such as going to a secret backdoor window to receive medicine after seeing the doc.

Ash's cold was confirmed and I was given his medicine and instructions all in (very fast) Japanese which may have been a test because after the Doc said my Japanese was great and he didn't need to use the little English he knows. I assured him that any English he used would be greatly appreciated on my part and did a big hearty "Yoroshiku onegaishimasu" and was on my way home!

In-laws were flabbergasted at my achievement and it felt good to actually show them I could do something by myself.

Anyway, Ash is on the mend and I'm trying very hard to not rub his nose too much and make it all red. I need some of those aloe tissues from home!

OK, this week's photos are pretty boring, I'm just not snapping as much as I used to, have to go on some photography field trips soon.

Old school photo of the week, getting fucked up on box wine in a park in Osaka...

My metabolic son, check the belly!

My scraped up arm from the stairs fall

Ash eating the table, as you do...

My bruised arm

I'm looking forward to the long long weekend this weekend, suckers not in Japan, enjoy your pissy 2 day weekend!

Six Summery Saturday snaps AKA I forgot foto Friday...

I can't believe I forgot good ol' foto Friday!

Not much been going on this week, still getting through the flu epidemic that is sweeping our little neighbourhood. Obaachan is on the mend, well she must be because she was out sorting through the rubbish like a homeless trooper this morning. MIL and SIL are also better but we're being safe and keeping well away for a while. It's actually been good to do things totally on my own this week, nice to know I don't actually need them to look after Ash. One gold mother star for me.

SIL must be feeling much better because she went to fireworks last night with her 'friend' who I strongly suspect is her lesbian lover. Was a little pissed I didn't get an invite but then again she probably wanted some alone date time without her gaijin nechan in the way.

OK, on to the snaps, we've been to two festivals this week, one was a very local, little school event, the other was a biggen at the army base next to our house. Cos where better to celebrate summer than among the guns, tanks and soldiers all ready to fight North Korea at the next missile...

Have I mentioned we live next to the army base before I can't remember?? It has perks, I have a thing for muscly men in uniform, train drivers, don't get me started. Although the 6am wake up calls of adrenalin pumped soldiers running around the base with guns, screaming "WE ARE STRONG!!! YES WE ARE!!!" (and that's literally what they do) is not so nice. I also feel the need to salute the man at the gate when I run past him everyday but Ryota said I might be shot on the spot so I've restrained myself so far....

May all your summer festivals be beer and goldfish filled!

A lantern with the moon in the background

Ashton was suitably unimpressed by the events

But I was definitely impressed with the beer! And pissed after two because the freakin line for yakisoba was so long we said "fuck it we'll eat when we get home." Biiiiiggggggg mistake, mummy was swaying all over the place!

Self-shots are so much harder when the camera weighs a bloody ton.

Boogie on Obachans! Does anyone else think the music at Japanese festivals sounds like the music in Indian restaurants???

My recent summer snacks. Water. And watermelon. Hmmmm watery...

Biffs revisited

I'm watching 'pretty woman', ahhh love that movie. Also love Richard Gere, although seeing him on Japanese TV recently shouting "hachi!!!" in a very gaijin accent hasn't done much for me.

Still incredibly busy this week with all my helpers out with the flu. BIL is on the mend, SIL and MIL still pretty bad and Baachan went to the docs today and has Type A flu, which isn't quite as bad?? I think that's what Ryota has too because he gets a bit of a fever in the day and is coughing a fair bit but apart from that he's fine.
I've also been cooking and shopping for the in-laws which according to them is totally unnecessary but I know they appreciate it and they were so good to me when I had strep throat, it's only fair I repay the favour, good little gaijin daughter-in-law I am! Excuse me while I polish my halo.

I'm hoping the recent bickering in our house is just due to sickness and stress, I can be quite difficult to live with, but I'm, ahem, sure it's totally not me... Well maybe just a bit. The fact that I haven't been running in a week is driving me nuts, feel very fat and bloated and...old. I seriously took a good look in the mirror this morning and I look freakin' old. Ryota didn't help by telling me I had black circles under my eyes last night. Of course I have fucking black circles, I never sleep through anymore, Ash's teeth wake me up at least 3 times a night recently. *sigh*

I swear I've gained new wrinkles since Ashton was born, hellllooooo twenty-fucking-five years old and I have cunting wrinkles!!!
*Ohhhh I'm at the shopping bit in Pretty woman, those snooty bitches!*
But yeh, seriously, the 8 grand we got in baby bonuses will all be blown on anti-ageing creams the way I'm going! I've decided I'm going to make an effort to be like a Japanese mummy next week, house totally organised, bento perfectly prepared and cooled on time and make-up and proper effort put in to outfit to go to the supermarket... yeh right, like that's going to happen! I don't know how they do it.

I've realised since having a baby I spend so much less time looking in the mirror, I'm quite looks/fashion conscious usually and when I was working I'd spend say 20 minutes looking in the mirror, cos I luurrrvvvveee myself sooooo much, and I didn't want to go to work looking like a total derro. But lately it's throw on any clothes that don't stink of baby vomit, make-up; hah! that's a laugh! hair; back, possibly with highlights of baby spit. I really need to start looking after myself a bit more, I love putting make-up on and getting all dolled up but lately, there has just been 0 motivation! Ganbaru.

Look at the rabbiting on already, OK, back to the tension waves of late. Tension waves is what we used to say at home in Aussie, if someone in our house was fighting we would use a little waving signal to each other so we knew to tread lightly. It's been more like a tension tsunami this week, let me see if i can remember...

Tension wave #1~ Hello work in-law battle where Ryota told me if I wasn't paid not to complain to him. Won that battle bitches!

Tension wave #2~ Ryota was still hungry after dinner one night, which pisses me off in itself, he likes to knit pick about dinner every fucking night and it drives me nuts!!! I thought it was my shitty cooking until Ryota's best friend (who he lived with for a year in Australia) and I had a bitch session about his pickiness and bad habits such as not cleaning the toilet, leaving beard hairs in the sink, throwing clothes on the floor etc. It made me feel so much better that it wasn't just me!
Anyway, Ryochan was hungry after dinner and I was still eating so he went and made snack pan for himself then bitched that he was sick and still had to 'cook.' He's so fucking impatient, he couldn't just wait the 10 minutes until I'd finished my dinner.

Tension wave #3~ Kakigori syrup spilled on the floor which apparently was all my fault! WTF??

Tension wave #4~ Ryota gets hot in the middle of the night when the air-con timer goes off. I hate having air-con on all night cos it makes my throat all dry and Ash kicks his blankies off and gets cold. Ryota wakes up hot and gets all huffy at me.

Tension wave #5~ Doesn't involve me thank fuck! BIL got the flu first so Ryota WENT OFF at him for being a stupid little punk who gave everyone the flu. I'd never heard him use such language and it was in Japanese and really fast but from what I could gather went something like-

Ryota: You stupid little cunt, you've made everyone fucking sick!
Junpei: It wasn't my fault!
Ryota: Yes it is, you sleep all fucking day and then go to skanky clubs with infected, dirty people all sharing cups and shit. Get a job you lazy little bastard!!!
Junpei: .........

I have to agree with Ryochan on this one, BIL is 22 and has never studied, never had a real job. His Dad just shelled out about a grand for him to go to school for caring for old/ disabled people but as I expected he gave up mid-way because it was too hard. I shouldn't really care but grandma is still washing his clothes and Ryota and I spent our Sunday last weekend trimming the trees around the house that Junpei is more than capable of doing, he really needs to start living like a normal person rather than a 4 year old.

I think there were more tension waves but I just can't remember them, Ryochan and I are all good, bickering stresses me out but I'm feeling good today despite the 20 or so times Ash woke up last night. Friday tomorrow, going to do an alone (well, with Ash) shopping mission by car tomorrow I think, going stir crazy in the house.

Slight MIL tiff or maybe just my bad mood

Thank you for all the get well wishes! They worked, or at least the antibiotics did! My tonsils are about half the size they were and only the bottom of them are covered in white muck, they still hurt a bit but nothing compared to what they were. As I type I am actually patiently waiting for little Ash to wake up so I can dump him drop him off at the in-laws and go for a run!

Yesterday was not the best day. It started by the big glass framed picture of Ash that I have been asking Ryota to put on the wall for at least 3 weeks smashing because it was resting against the wall. It really freaked me out because the night before, MIL dropped her mobile phone smashing the screen, so now we have her phone with a picture of Ash as her background all smashed and his little face behind the smashed glass frame, freaky!

Anyway, after the glass incident I accidentally fucked up SIL's camera somehow, not deleting the photos when I copied them to my computer, but for some reason they don't appear on her camera anymore when she switches it on. Then it all went downhill because we went to SSOK, or ソック　in Japanese.

Has anyone been there?? It's in Mino, which I guess is about half an hour, 40 minutes from Osaka. There are lots of warehouse type shops but they are all waayyyy too swanky to get any real warehouse shopping bargains. I should have known.

5 reasons I don't like SSOK:

1) It looks exactly like a department store
2) It's really not that cheap
3) They don't allow bags of any kind or strollers, it's wallet only.
4) They don't allow strollers and I happen to have an incredibly heavy 4 month old
5) The name SSOK annoys me and sounds like sock

WTF is with the no stroller rule?! Discrimination much?? I wonder if they allow wheelchairs? I'm guessing not. Is it to reduce shoplifting??? Because if it is, they are sooooo silly, they have double the staff at the registers so they can seal your bags up with 400 meters of tape. The money they save on shrinkage from shoplifting is nothing compared to the overheads from staff salaries they must be paying.
You also need a card to get in and the lady informed us that only 2 people could enter on one card, so MIL went to register for another card but the lady got distracted and about 20 people strolled in without being checked if they had a card. Not. Happy. Jan.

On to the 'I was annoyed with MIL to the point my face flushed red.' Note that because I'd taken a disliking to SSOK I was probably cranky already.
Luckily for us, we have one of those BabyBjorn holdy thingies that we could have shoved Ash in. But nooooo that would be way too easy, becasue my family-in-law like to show off with Ash, BIL decided he would hold him. I grumbled that the baby sling had no meaning, but whatever, if he wants to get a backache from holding him on one side that's his choice.
After BIL complained about said backache (try doing it everyday wimpy!) MIL took over with holding him. when MIL's back got sore she said she would hold him in the sling. This is when I got peeved.
The sling is pretty annoying actually, it's not one of those nice, hippy, one piece of material ones, it's one with all kinds of hooks and belts on it, and me being a big boobed giant, it's set just right for me. I explained this to MIL and said I was fine to hold him, as the sling was already on my back and ready for him just to slide in.

MIL protested. I said I'd hold him. She said she would hold him. This went on for I swear about 5 minutes until I said strongly and with my flushed face that it was easier if I held him. Put. Him. In. Now.

There was no argument and it is a tiny thing, but sometimes I feel like my voice is lost in translation somewhere, I shouldn't have to say something a million times before I'm heard.
I appreciate all MIL's help, I really do, and I need it living here. But they sometimes forget that lived in Japan for 3 years by myself and did just fine. If I can do something, I want to try and do it myself.

I overreacted a bit to the holder thing but I really think it was a build up of a lot of things lately where I'm starting to feel like a baby who can't do anything by herself.

Anyway, Ashton boy is hollerin' so I'm off for a run! That 10km isn't going to run itself in November!

Strep throat update

*Warning: The end of this post contains a fairly gross picture of my infected tonsils, if those things make you ill, please close now!

So Monday night, after I went to see Dr Smartarse I was confident the medicine and painkillers would kick in and I would start to feel a little bit better. No such luck.

When we went to bed I was going from a raging sweaty fever to cold chills, I couldn't swallow properly and was horribly dizzy. My body also felt like it was made of stone it was so heavy. Not fun at all.

Ashton was being a very good little lad for me though, and Ryota was helping out getting me cold packs all night and woke up with me every time despite having to wake up at 5:30am the next morning to go to work.

I think the low point of the night was when I had just gotten to sleep and had a horrible dream.; My face was trapped under a yakiniku grill and I was looking up through it with my mouth wide open and all of Ryota's family were taking hot pieces of yakiniku meat and dropping it down my throat...hehe classic 'I was hot and my throat was killing me' dream, but scary all the same.

The pain was so intense I woke up crying in my sleep, and I'm talking big fat crocodile tears running down my face. Ryota woke me up becasue he said my face was all screwed up in pain. My temperature was still 38 and I was just miserable when Ryota went to work. I had noooo energy, even lifting Ash (well, he is almost 10kgs!) was an effort and I didn't want to have a dizzy spell and drop the poor little tyke!

So Ash was off to the in-laws for the morning while I tried to sleep, but it was impossible with my throat so bad.

The day pretty much continued this way, my fever going up and down and me feeling either crappy or a little less crappy. In the afternoon I thought I'd check my tonsils to see if the swelling had gone down but they were even worse and covered in more white stuff than I've ever seen before. I still wasn't that concerned though, I was taking my meds properly and I know these things take time. When MIL got home and demanded to take my temp herself in case I was 'gaman-ing' it and inspect my tonsils she went into a major panic and almost started crying at the white gunk. It was pretty disgusting. She told me that I had "kabi" on my tonsils. Kabi? Mould?? haha, I was like "kabi, as in kabi-killer???" (Kabi-killer is a cleaning product in Japan that is great for bathrooms and stuff.) She was like 'Yes! Yes! Kabi! Like the black grimy stuff in the shower!!"

Gee thanks MIL, I feel soooooo much better about the festering flesh blocking the back of my throat now...

So it was off to an emergency trip back to the clinic, where Dr Smartarse said it had indeed gotten worse instead of better and I was to have a drip of antibiotics immediately. MIL was hovering over me and asking over and over if it hurt yet, which was a little off-putting, but it didn't hurt at all and the nurse was very nice. It's weird, I used to HATE needles of any kind but now I don't mind them at all and actually donate blood!

That was yesterday, and I'm happy to say I feel a lot better today after the antibiotics. I have to go back to the clinic today for another drip and keep taking the meds but I think the worst is definitely over.

I was so worried about little Ash getting it, but Dr Smartarse assured me that magical breastmilk will fight off any germs that are passed on to him. Ryota, however is not drinking magical milk and had a bit of a sore throat yesterday, so I'm worried I've infected him, although he sweats so much at work I think he'll be able to fight it off.

Feeling genki enough to go warehouse shopping today, woohoo!

And now, for the extremly gross photo of my tonsils. This was taken last night and today they haven't changed that much but I'm hoping they will improve some time today!

There's like no space between them!!!

Strep throat Monday

I woke up this morning with a really sore throat, actually I'll rephrase that appropriately, I woke up with a really fucking bastard sore throat, pardon my french.
It been a long time since I've had one so bad, I was gagging because my tonsils were so swollen. I used to get sore throats a lot when I was a kid but recently I've been fine.

But like the good wifey I am, I still got up and made Ryota's bento, although it was a 'pull anything out of the freezer and shove it in the microwave' kind of bento. I did the housework and made curry in the morning, but by lunch time I knew it was bad. I couldn't swallow properly and I couldn't eat anything. In Aussie I never took my temperature, but since I've lived in Japan I've joined the 'fever-obsessed' hoards and checked this morning, it was 36.3 which is normal for me, when I checked at lunch it was 37.4 so it was definitely on the rise.

So it was of to the clinic I went. I so miss the days of strolling into my local medical centre where all illnesses are treated, swiping my magical medicare card which ensures the government will pay for my consultation and strolling out again loaded up with my penicillin. But no, in Japan there is a clinic for every single illness, you have to pay, and you end up with 588 different types of medicine and sprays, or they tell you to sleep. Err, with a four month old???

When we got to the clinic I filled out the little paper and the nurse took my temperature, it was 38.2 at the clinic, I don't do Fahrenheit but because I love my yankee friends so much it's about 101. The nurse gave me the 'talk to the hand gesture' and was all like, "Get your foreign ass in that isolation room right now girlfriend" except she said it in a really polite way... She insisted that I was shindoi and I should lie down but I was stressing too much from all the googling on buta influenza I'd done and insisted I wasn't that shindoi and was just fine in the chair.

The doc we go to is very interesting, he had mouth cancer so now talks through a microphone, kids (and me) are terrified of him. He is also the doctor that discovered Junpei's leukemia so we all have much respect for him but the bastard scared the hell out of me.
As soon as he saw I had a fever and learned I was from Australia he whipped out the giant cotton bud and proceeded to shove it down my throat and up my nose while informing me that Australia was now phase 6 in the flu stakes.
The test results took about 10 minutes and I was stressing the whole time. When he called my name, I swear he was so non-Japanese, I don't think a Japanese doctor has ever screwed around with my head but the doc made a big dramatic silence and kept me waiting for what seemed like forever before telling me I tested negative for flu and was still chuckling at my terrified expression when he told my I did test positive for strep throat.
Again, Bastard.

I was very relieved and went and got my medicine, I'm feeling a little better now but still can't eat anything and my tonsils are still huge. Being sick with a baby is so much worse, escape to bed is impossible! Ryota was a sweetheart though and brought home ice cream, pudding and vitamin drinks so I'm gorging on pudding guilt-free!