Monday 13 August 2012

The simple things... Part 1

We interrupt these divorce proceedings to bring you a Japan rant. Why? Because I can't be fucked writing about what is going on at the moment. It's too exhausting to live it, let alone hash it out with correct(ish) spelling and grammar. I'll say things are pretty tense but for the moment the papers are yet to be inked. Thank you for all your lovely comments, don't worry, if we turn out OK I won't hold the "Good work, you should have divorced the cock head ages ago" comments against you.

But back to the topic at hand... Simple things. Life is full of them. Giving a present is one of them. Yes, there are shades of gray with what to give and who to give it to, but in general, you give a present as a sign that you care, right?

WRONG! This is Japan, and the Japanese have a way of taking something simple, complicating the fuck out of it and then wrapping it up in a pretty little bow.

We got lots of presents when the baby was born, in many forms; money, clothes, toys and general baby-type things. I greatly appreciated every single one of them, said "Thank you" and thought about making little thank you cards with Bailey's face on them in a cute blue hue. But no, that's not how it works in Japan. If someone gives you a present, you have to give them something back, and it has to be about half what the present was worth.

What the fuck?? I don't give presents to get shit back! But MIL informed me this is the practice and the only way to go. Grandma also informed me that it's impossible to keep track of everything you get/give, so she gave me a little lined notebook to note who gave me what and the value. I kind of get why grand gestures aren't really appreciated here now though, like if someone made me a cake rather than buying it I would be really touched because I would know how much time and effort they had put in for me, but this must just fuck up the whole system because you can't put a value on time and effort I guess...

So I wrote down everything in the book and thought about what people might like as a 'thank-you-for-giving-me-a-pressent', present... See it's ridiculous every way you look at it!!! And I thought the kids at the school who gave me stuff might like an English book... The older ladies might like some cakes, the younger people some wine... And I actually put effort into thinking about what people might like, only to be thwarted by Japan's ridiculousness once again!!! Oh no, you don't get thoughtful gifts, you get fucking generic gift boxes with foul smelling crackers or dry cakes in them, THAT is the way it's done, silly silly gaijin girl and her crazy thinking!

This system baffles me, I'd rather not get fucking presents in the first place!!

The final straw was when I was so sick of all the rules that seemed to go with something as simple as getting a present for the birth of my baby, that I asked MIL to get the crappy yet appropriate gifts to give back to people, and I would fork out the cash as soon as possible. Of course I was informed that I was to wait at least a month, and I was so exasperated that I didn't ask why, maybe because you buy them all at the same time?? Who fucking knows.

There are SO many things that appear simple and are made complicated in Japan, this is only part 1, look forward to such gems as 'feeding a big-arse fish to a 100 day old,' 'Buddhism for non-Buddhists,' and many many more ridiculousness from Japan!

P.S. I know you want the dirty divorce goss, I will dish when I'm ready...

Wednesday 8 August 2012

The positives..

I guess that's the thing about having a shitty marriage, you're not that upset when it ends...

Divorce papers are at home, the anticipation of the unknown to come is strangely exciting...

More when I have some I guess!

Sunday 5 August 2012

Bugger it

I'm even late with my late make-up post!

The excuses won't fly, I know, I really do need to sell off one of my kids to the highest bidder in order to get, well, anything at all done that doesn't involve cleaning shit or vomit. Of course I do get a break from it with Ash, he has me doing fun things like cleaning up toys and cheering him on as he does a poo for the first time in 4 days. Fun times this raising kids business.

So where should I start... The beginning I guess, and around here the beginning is usually my shit house excuse for a husband. He's being a prime wanker, as was kind of expected!

My mum is here at the moment, she's stayed 3 weeks and even though usually we fight quite a bit if we're together for too long, this time has been great. She's helped me so much with the baby and been a general savior of my sanity in the form of helping with the house, adult conversation, an extra pair of hands, and just a person who thinks a similar way to me. Now my mum isn't perfect, like me, she has annoying little habits and different cultural things that are probably more prominent than my cultural differences because she doesn't know things that are considered weird in Japan. For example, we had prawns the other night (Ebi fry) and if I was at home I'd just use my fingers to dip it in the sauce and eat it, and this is what my mum did. But because I've been in Japan for so long, of course I use chopsticks. Just little things like that. Considering my mum is helping out A LOT at our house, you think Ryota would make an effort to be a bit nice, but he's not, he keeps bitching to mean Japanese about things and it's fucking pissing me off.

I think his mental condition is reaching an all time high, he seems to be miserable all the time and it's wearing me down until I get to the point where I really don't give a fuck. I guess that's one good thing about having a shit marriage, you're not really that upset when you're faced with the prospect of it ending!
I'm not quite at the point of no return yet, but he's embarrassing me, I feel like my mum will go home and be thinking "god my daughter married an absolute cunt," when in actual fact he's not like that all the time, he was just particularly bad when she was here.

It annoys me to no end when I put up with the good, bad, ugly and fucking mental-ness of his family 365 days a year, but he can't man up and act like he likes having my mum here for 3 fucking weeks?!

What else is he being a cunt about... Is cuntness is kind of blending together lately... Oh that's right! Today I took both kids to Sassymoo's house for a few hours and came home to him tying a rock with rope for the landscaping exam he has to do this month. He didn't say, 'are you ok?' or 'thanks for taking both kids so I could study', no, he said "oh you're home already, I'm not finished, now I can't get anything done!" with a big fucking dramatic sigh, he's so good at those lately.

So yeah, baby? Lovely. Ash? Great. Ryota? Fucking. Twat.

Hopefully I'll have a warm and fuzzy story next time to balance the bad vibes!

Thursday 2 August 2012


Haven't been doing much of it!

However I feel my life slowly but surely returning to something that may resemble normal. Wish I could say the same for my belly, but I'm workin' on it!

I WILL blog tomorrow, there are so many things I could be writing about but I chose not to for no other reason except I'm a lazy bastard.