I'm also running on very little sleep for the past 3 nights so please forgive the spelling and grammar mistakes that will be scattered through this post... I did title this post 'Men and babies. HAD IT!' But Ryota and I are now happily back to love love mode so I can't really say that now.
OK going to break it down into categories becasue I can't be arsed writing a fluid composition of topics...
Sleepless nights-
Ashton is going through a stage (please god let it just be a stage...) of waking up every 2 hours at night. This means I get no sleep at all basically as it takes me a long time to fall asleep anyway. Last night was better, I got about 4 hours I think. This also means Ryota gets interrupted sleep, and when you've got to get up at 5:30am that's no fun either.
Walk-out fights-
Due to lack of sleep on both our parts we've been extremly irritable. The other night this led to a fight where I threatened to leave but Ryota ended up leaving instead. I was soooo fucking angry!
This is how it went down; Ryota got home late which pisses me off to begin with (despite it not being his fault). Then I asked him to finish giving Ash his dinner so I could make our dinner. Ryota is pretty shit at feeding Ash, he gives up way too quickly and has no patience, sometimes I think he's doing it on purpose becasue it's just too tedious. Ash was really sleepy so he asked me what he should do. I possibly used a tone like, 'are you a fucking moron, put him to sleep' when I said "give him some juice and a dummy and rock him to sleep". I was busy with dinner by this point and Ash went to sleep pretty quickly. Ryota hadn't got the futon out beforehand and got panicky when he realised he couldn't put him down. He then said to me in an extremly harsh tone: "Can you fucking help me!?"
I was fucking fuming at that point, what the fuck does he think I do all day by myself??? *Deep breaths...*
After Ash was sleeping I closed the door and we started screaming at each other which led to the leaving...blah blah...drama drama.
I went after him when he left and we made up. All good. Except some of that argument wasn't resolved and carried on to the next night's fight....
Desperate D gossip-
OK I wrote about D, Ryota's friend who had a thing for Ryota a while back. Well, she called Ryota last night in tears and she had a massive fight with her boyfriend becasue his mother doesn't like her and he booked her a flight today, 3 weeks early!!!! What a fucking spinelesss cock smoker!! He's 30 fucking years old and he's listening to what his mummy has to say??? I feel bad for her, she seemed really upset.
More fights-
OK, kinda carry over from original fight but the night before last I'd literally had no sleep at all and when Ash woke up for the fourth time I started sobbing. Now this isn't unusual for me, I'm a total cry baby. 24 hour TV, cried like a big baby, movies, sad, angry, I cry. I was just so exhausted that I needed to cry. Ryota also woke up and asked me "Are you ok?" But not in a , 'aww poor thing' kind of way, in a 'fucking hell woman what are you crying about?' way. When I told him I was tired he said it was my fault for not sleeping in the day. Ash sleeps about 30 minutes during his daytime nap and that precious time is used for cleaning or doing some other shite that Ryota has no idea about. I got a bit emotionally over-tired hysterical then and we had another round but I had no fight just tears in me.
End result, Ryota realised he'd been a wanky husband and apologised profusely the next day and even got up with me when Ash woke up last night, which isn't necessary, just a bit of compassion is all I need.
Phew.
All good now, looking forward to this weekend, getting my hair done, going to a wedding and then visiting our friend in Nara.
This week's pics, pretty boring sorry!
Ash destroying my well kept shelf. (Note the rodeo boy holding a towel and a plate...)
Telling Daddy a secret...
Me and Ash with Tay-chan
Dinner at outback
Helping grandma with a box cutting project.
Corrine.. you and be both.. this past week for me has been HELL! But two irritable parents with lack of sleep ... anyone would have fights-- it happens when two people are newly married.. you two are still learning about each other..... The dinner looks good though.
ReplyDeleteoh damn, had a good response here but lost it. ah well. anyway, commiseration over the fights, had ones just like it. still do from time to time, but not nearly as frequently when we (that is to say, i) were sleep deprived. also. sounds like ash is going through a growth spurt. or has he learned something new recently (standing up or something)? should pass in a day or two, i hope!
ReplyDeletelove the pics as always!!
Girl Japan~ Very true, I guess fights are to be expected sometimes, we're usually not too bad but sleepless nights are a real trigger! Hope your week gets better too!
ReplyDeleteIllahee~ Oooo I love senpai mama advice, I was thinking it might be a growth spurt, he's eating and drinking more than usual, but he's just started pulling himself up too so that could be it?? Thanks, I feel much better knowing it's normal!
I feel for you! Raiden is also going through the every 1/2 hour, 1 hour, 2 hour wakeup route. I envy people who have had babies that slept through the night 2 - 3 months in. We are going on a year and still don't sleep through the night. Must also be that kind of week as I am about to have a good rant/ pity party over on my blog. Hope you have a great weekend!!
ReplyDeleteOohh, sleepless so not fun...I get so nasty when dont get enough sleep and poor hubby bears the brunt of it. Alex had a wake every hour(! ) a couple of weeks ago..it was when she was starting to stand on her own..I was a mess..found out later that that was why..good to know there are reasons for things..sometimes just feels like they are testing you eh..
ReplyDeleteBeamies~ Grrr isn't it frustrating, although Ash is pretty good usually, it would drive me nuts if it was for too long, you poor thing! Rant away, feels much better after! I'm really looking forward to this weekend, thanks, you too!
ReplyDeleteColorbynumbers~ I guess that's what husbands are for hey... :) I had no idea standing and learning new things meant waking up! But yup definitely glad to know everyone goes through this stuff and I'm not a crap mother!
oh cor my heart goes out to you...
ReplyDeletethis all can be so crap tough and hey im right with you on no sleep, no futari no jikan, no fun :(
glad u guys made up tho... hope ash is back on schedule soon. sakuras 3 week growth spurt was a huge pain in the ass not looking forwaed to the next one
ganbaro
Tay-chan is so adorable! How are you ever going to leave her when you come here?
ReplyDeleteHow's the Outback over there? The one here is SHIT but the one in America is FABULOUS. Is it only good overseas?
We had a problem with Kylan sleeping around the same age but it turned out it was about how we were putting him to sleep. "The Book" said that however he was falling asleep, if he woke up in the middle of the night, he would need it again to fall back asleep. Whether that's rocking, a bottle in bed, etc. Once we changed our routine, he's slept through the night ever since.
Whether that's coincidence or not, because he's always been a fabulous sleeper before and after that phase, I have no idea. Just an idea... heard the same thing about growth spurts though too...
See you soon!
Sara~ I shouldn't I'm sure you're having a harder time than me, newborns are way more stressful, so little and floppy!
ReplyDeleteHopefully he gets his groove soon!
Emily~ i know, it will be hard to part with Tay-chan! Outback is good here, I know the Aussie one is shite eh :(
Hmmm Ash falls asleep on my tit (putting it bluntly...) and I've read that too, when he wakes up with no big booby in his mouth it's distressing but I don't know how to get him to sleep without it... Kylan is such an angel I'm so grilling you guys on all things baby when I get there.
Sounds like you had a tough week. Glad to hear you all survived! I so understand all of what you wrote. Judging from the other supportive comments, it's something we all go through when the kids are young.
ReplyDeleteGrowth spurts and milestones played havoc with my kids' sleep - daughter is a climber and would climb right out of her cot at 3am. Crash bang wallop Ouch! I also worried about how I would get my kids to sleep once I stopped breastfeeding, but it wasn't so bad afterall. It just takes a bit of time to get them use to falling asleep without mummy and milk. Does Ash have a blanket or teddy that he likes to cuddle? Both mine have always liked to have a blanket for comfort. I also think we are often too quick to rush to our baby EVERY time they cry and so they don't get chance to practice falling back to sleep on their own. They come to expect mummy to come in and give them a cuddle. Hang in there.
Bugger the fights feulled by lack of sleep and husbands who think we do nothing but sit round twiddling our thumbs all day!! Hub and I have lots of fights - most feulled by mad mummy on no sleep after spending day doing 'STHM' stuff, two older kids coming home and being generally mad crazy buggers and making me get to prime fight level by time hub walks in door - albeit later than the earliest time humanly possible to get home considering logistics - the time I EXPECT him. Any later and I get jealous that his getting 'me' time and I'm not!!
ReplyDeleteLove it love it, if I had married and been living in NZ I would have been divorced by now!!
Hope Ash is just having growing pains and you get some more sleep soon!!
Glad to hear you got through it all. Fights are good - not at the time but at least it lets all the emotions out. Can't count the amount of times divorce has been threatened in this house but we're still hanging in there 25 years later! No sleep is a killer for everyone and hard not to feel resentful of husbands that get to 'leave it all' and go to work plus can't seem to understand how hard being a SAHM really is. Just a bit of empathy now and then would work wonders.
ReplyDeleteSounds like you have a good man though, nice of him to get up with you last night even though he probably couldn't do much without a spare pair of boobs ! Hoping the sleepless nights are on the way out soon.
I think you just have to take the leap. I mean, you're already getting shitty sleep so...
ReplyDelete... we just stopped giving him the bottle to put him go to sleep with and put him down. He screamed his heart out and lost his shit for a while and a couple nights afterwards but it was worth it in the end.
I think if you maybe fed him earlier than he usually gets it, then put him down when he's fine. Let him scream it out and eventually he will go to sleep when he exhausts himself.
Does he have trouble keeping covers on? Is he getting cool at night or too hot or anything? We found that too, so we use a sleeping bag according to the weather (fleece for colder nights and thinner t-shirt material for warmer nights) and that seems to keep his temperature regulated and he doesn't piss and moan about it at 3am.
:) Kylan is an angel but I don't think it's all to do with our amazing parenting skills. :)
And also, the sleeping bag thing: FANTASTIC when they start pulling themselves up to stand. Keeps them less inclined to do so as it's hard for them to stand in it. Mark my words on that. We would DIE without our sleeping bags.
ReplyDeleteYou should borrow The Book whilst you're here. I swear it's saved our lives more than once. I still refer to it every few months to get ideas.
ReplyDeleteFights are definitely good for the soul. It is better to have all the angst out in the open! :-)
ReplyDeleteTay-chan is very cute. I really miss my car in Japan- I had a really cute purple Nissan March that was my lifesaver after Joey was born!