We interrupt the three-day shagging fest...

For a bit of a moan, because that’s what this blog really is, isn’t it? Sex and moaning, with a dog-fucker and funny old lady thrown in occasionally!

The kebab shop where I used to go in my home town after a heavy night on the piss had a huge mural with the words “it costs nothing to be nice” on it. The guy who ran the store was Iranian and he was nice to everybody, he had drunk fuckers coming in to that shop at all hours of the night stumbling all over the place and I never once saw him throw anyone out or get angry. And because of this, everyone knew him and respected him, he was a genuinely nice guy, the type who gave you the kebab even when you were so fucking blind that you looked at the coins in your hand with a puzzled look when he told you the price, he let you use the toilet even if you weren’t buying, just a good guy in general. And it was also because of this that nobody ever did any dumb shit in his store, like try to steal stuff or vomit all over the counter or anything, actually I’m sure someone did vomit at some point, but nobody would do it on purpose, he was famous in our little city, and even smaller drinking scene.

I really wish more people were like him, and a lot of people are and aren’t given recognition for it, but some people really piss me off, for example, let’s call him “map cunt”…

Yesterday I was at the school doing some work when an oldish man peered through the glass at me, I thought he was an old crazy wanting to take a trial lesson stare at my tits for a few minutes but when he came in he had rolled up bits of paper so I knew he was selling something. Usually when salesmen come in I do a Basil Fawlty with the old “My husband handles all such matters!!” and then fob them off, or if they’re really persistent, actually get Ryota to call them, and when he tells them to fuck off and never call again or he’ll smash their knee caps in they wish they’d never tried. (Not really, but he is very brutal with annoying sales people!) I am the total opposite to Ryota, a salesman’s dream, in that I find it very hard to say no. Even in English I find it hard, but it’s even worse in Japanese.

So map cunt got off on the wrong foot with me from the very start when he said in a very loud, obnoxious voice, “MANAGAAAAAARRRR???!!! WHERE??? MANAAAAAGGGGAAAARRRR?????” Number one, don’t fucking assume I can’t speak Japanese, at least wait till I completely fuck up my sentence before you do that! And number two, I’m manager, owner, teacher, book keeper, accountant, cleaner, and general shit kicker of this school. DEAL WITH IT!
I just said “hai managgggaaaaaaaa desu” in a dull tone and with a cynical look on my face and he got a little bit flustered before going in to the shortest sales spiel ever about including the school on a map, but worded it in a way like I had no choice but to pay. This confused me so I asked him what map it was and he said it was the map up at the local convenience store down the road. It was ￥3500 a year to have the school on the map but he didn’t even say “Would you like to be on the map?” he just said “So that’s ￥3500 please.” I had no money with me (I actually didn’t but he looked at me like I was lying the presumptuous fucker) and I told him to come back tomorrow but I decided then and there that I didn’t like him and would ask Ryota if he thought it was worth it and decide. Of course when I asked Ryota we decided it was a waste of money, it’s not like someone will drop in to the conbini and be all “Ooo look there’s an English school down the road!” So I said I’d tell him I didn’t want to but I’d told him to come back for the money so felt a teeny bit bad.

So skip to today, he comes in with not even a smile or nice greeting and actually made it easier for me to say “Look, I know I said I’d pay yesterday but I talked to my husband and we really don’t need to be on that map, really sorry to put you to the trouble…” He gave me a filthy look as if to say “FUCK YOU BITCH!” and walked out with a mumble of “wakarimashita”. I was honestly shocked, if he’d been nice from the start, I guarantee I would have paid that money, in a second but just because he was a cunt I didn’t. What is wrong with some people!? Maybe he was a company man who’d been fired and this was his part-time job or something because he was really bad at sales! I just couldn’t believe he was such a cunt, it’s quite rare in Japanese sales people.

OK enoiugh moaning, I'll get to writing about my Turkish delight...