No. Much worse than all of those combined.
B stands for… baby.
*insert terrified shriek here*
You’d think that I hate kids, (especially my own!) the way I talk sometimes, which is actually totally not true, I mean it’s moments like this…
And this…
That make my days worth it. But another baby added in to the mix of my life just does not sit well. Ryota is happily convinced that after my besty’s wedding in August I will throw caution and my pill to the wind and go on a baby-making shag fest so that we can bring another bundle of joy in to our already complicated lives. Not happenin’ buddy. Ryota wants at least 2 kids, 3 if he can twist my arm, and in theory, so do I.
In a perfect world where money grows on trees and kids don’t make you fat and have to be pushed out of your vagina and they don’t need attention 24/7, sure I’ll have a whole army!
But seriously, apart from all the selfish and materialistic reasons I don’t want another baby, (just yet anyway) I’m thinking about the practical reasons, one reason actually, the school.
I run a small English school where I am the only teacher, finding a replacement teacher to work for 2 or 3 months would be very hard and the rent is too expensive to consider just closing for the time I’m bleeding so profusely from my gash that I won’t be able to teach. So the practicalities of having another small person attached to my boobs for a few months while juggling work and a toddler are just not workable in my eyes. I’m hoping the school gets bigger so that we actually need to get another teacher in to help, that way they could just take over if I needed to take a break. Not likely to work out so perfectly, but definitely a possibility in the future.
But if I’m being honest with myself, the practical reasons could always be worked around, we’d always manage with money, the selfish, shallow reasons however… not so easily solved.
Top 5 selfish reasons I don’t want another baby…
1) I don’t want to get fat (again).
2) I don’t need any more stretch marks on my road map belly.
3) Babies are noisy. And time consuming. And shit and eat all day and night.
4) I don’t want to be the primary care-giver again. Tried it once, sent it to kindy.
5) I don’t want to stop running.
So there you are, I could bleat on about “not being ready” or any other bullshit excuse, but the truth is, I don’t want to mess up my life. My life is good, I’m loving it and another baby would seriously throw a spanner in my happy works. It makes me feel slightly guilty but I figure if I’m not happy then nobody else around me is going to be either, so really I’m doing them a favor!
I feel a bit bad for Ash, it would be nice for him to have a play mate and a good lesson for a newer, cuter baby to take all the limelight off him, but he’s just going to have to wait a few more years. Me and my sister are 5 years apart and although we almost punched the living shit out of each other on many occasions, we also played games and made imaginary worlds together, that shit is not separated by 5 years. And now we don’t even feel the 5 year difference, in fact I’m the one settled down with a family and business while she’s still dancing around barefoot at concerts and travelling. You just never can tell how things are going to turn out.
The point of this post? I’m shit scared of having another baby, I want one more but I wish it didn’t interfere with my life so much. What do you think, am I being too selfish?? Do you know where my maternal instincts have disappeared to?? How many years between siblings is good??
Yoroshiku ne…
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Oh, and another word that begins with B… BOOBS.
2) I don’t need any more stretch marks on my road map belly.
3) Babies are noisy. And time consuming. And shit and eat all day and night.
4) I don’t want to be the primary care-giver again. Tried it once, sent it to kindy.
5) I don’t want to stop running.
So there you are, I could bleat on about “not being ready” or any other bullshit excuse, but the truth is, I don’t want to mess up my life. My life is good, I’m loving it and another baby would seriously throw a spanner in my happy works. It makes me feel slightly guilty but I figure if I’m not happy then nobody else around me is going to be either, so really I’m doing them a favor!
I feel a bit bad for Ash, it would be nice for him to have a play mate and a good lesson for a newer, cuter baby to take all the limelight off him, but he’s just going to have to wait a few more years. Me and my sister are 5 years apart and although we almost punched the living shit out of each other on many occasions, we also played games and made imaginary worlds together, that shit is not separated by 5 years. And now we don’t even feel the 5 year difference, in fact I’m the one settled down with a family and business while she’s still dancing around barefoot at concerts and travelling. You just never can tell how things are going to turn out.
The point of this post? I’m shit scared of having another baby, I want one more but I wish it didn’t interfere with my life so much. What do you think, am I being too selfish?? Do you know where my maternal instincts have disappeared to?? How many years between siblings is good??
Yoroshiku ne…
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Oh, and another word that begins with B… BOOBS.
I have boob issues at the moment, set-off by Ryota hassling me that I had no tits. I argued I was wearing a C cup bra but he then pointed out that it was all loose and too big for me therefore making me a B cup. To my horror, when I took it off it was a B, making me… an A?!?! In the chubby days I was a freaking generous D! But fat tits are not the same as big tits and I’ll take being thinner any day, but still! What the fuck is going on? I totally need a boob job.
Ryota took a surprise snap of me in only my pants and I just couldn’t stop looking at my boobs, or lack of. I wish I could share the photo, but it’s SO bad, as in, gut sticking out, (I’d had yakiniku) weird scared puppy dog look on my face, and, well, my pathetic boobs…
Here’s the deal, I’ll post the picture if this post gets… 50 comments, if not, my dignity stays intact. It’s like a giveaway where the prize is shaming me! And no anonymous bullshit, has to be a comment from a blogger, or at least a convincing real person!
