Dog fucker fireworks

Since the time Dog fucker and I really got into it with the Kimutaku fight, I've actually had times where I almost begin to like her. She can be very nice, helpful, normal even when she wants to be. But in the back of my mind, I always had that fight replaying in my head and never totally trusted her. Actually if I'm honest with myself, the only reason I held my tongue for as long as I have was because I needed her to watch Bailey for a year.

Now that year is over, I don't have to fork out mountains of cash to her, and I don't actually give a fuck what she thinks of me, because it. is. ON!

To be fair, I think I had some pent up resentment from all the cash I did pay her for watching her own nephew and the fact that once the money stopped she didn't offer to help in the slightest. This, and the summer season starting, some people go on stabbing sprees, I just speak my mind. Meh, we're all getting a bit on edge in the heat I think.

So, here's how this fight started...

This month, Monsters University came out, if you don't have kids it will be totally irrelavant, but Ash has been dying to see it ever since the trailers came out ridiculously early in the year. So I promised him I'd set aside a day for him in July and we would have a date to go watch it. I've never taken Ash to the movies and recently I haven't had much?any? one on one time with him, it's always all of us or just me and both boys. I was actually really looking forward to it, the 24th was decided and I made sure not to schedule any lessons on that day.
Now among all my planning, I had heard through the grapevine that dog-fucker had also said she'd take Ash to see the movie. I say grapevine, I mean when I said "Let's go watch it together!" He replied with "Ehh Ako too??" (he calls dog fucker Ako) So I knew then that she'd probably said she'd take him. Which is nice and all, I appreciate it but I knew then and there that it wasn't happening, this was my plan. I should point out she's taken him to the movies on at least 4 separate occasions because you know, she has no job or purpose in life.

So Sunday night I went to Grandma's house and dog fucker said: (In a kind of short tone while watching TV) "Corinne, Ashton will have the day off on Wednesday." ...

Not 'Can he have the day off?' But 'he WILL have the day off.' Fucking bitch , that there was enough to piss me off, and I knew in my head that a shit storm was on the way but I asked her why and she said "I'm taking him to the movies." I then said (still in a nice way) "Hmmm I was actually going to take him on the 24th..."
And the whore fucking ignored me!!

So I stormed home and immediately started bitching to Ryota about how his sister was such a fucking bitch and he told me not to bitch to him, to either speak my mind or shut the hell up. And fair play to him for that.

So the mail war started, writing it is way too annoying so I'll post the mails with rough translations...

 

First one (me): Don't worry about taking him on Wednesday, it'll cost you money anyway. I can take him on the 24th.

 

Second one (her): I already bought the tickets for the 10th so I'm taking him. Why don't you take him somewhere different on the 24th?

 

Third one (me): Ahh you already bought them... Could you let me know before you decide anything next time because I promised him I'd take him.

 

 

I should point out here that her texts are all fucking short and condescending tones as well the little whore. I'm her fucking onesan too!!!! OK, then...

 

First one (her): I told you ages ago, maybe you've forgotten?

 

Second one (me): (I was PISSED now!) Actually I told you too. I said "Let's go together" maybe you've forgotten? I'm always busy with work and hardly get the chance to be with Ash just the 2 of us so that's why I wanted to take him but I should have made that clear earlier so it's my fault.

 

Third one (her): I think you'll have lots of time to be with just Ash now seeing as though you've put Bailey in kindy.

 

Fine then! You take him! I can sell my fucking tickets!

 

 

It was at that point that I didn't want to keep it going anymore, she was dead to me. I realised as someone who dropped out of high school and has never had any social interactions what so ever, I should just treat her as socially disabled and forget about her. But fuck me, how dare she judge me putting Bailey in kindy?! How dare she SAY anything about the subject let alone judge me. She's never known what it's like to be busy so I guess it's impossible for her to understand. Anyway, it's been all icy looks and ignoring since than and I'm just itching for her to have another go, I have everything I want to say planned, such gems as: "The closest you've come to having a family is your dog, go get another one to fuck with" and "You're a leech on society, fuck off!"

 

 

Am I overreacting due to crazy summer season?? Would you be pissed?? Or am I just looking for a reason to fight because I just don't like her??



Support

I often feel very lucky to live so close to Ryota's family, I'm very lucky that when Ashton is driving me nuts that he can go to their house for a bit ensuring I don't actually throw him out the window. They also help me in many other ways, but lately, today especially, I think it's best just to cut ourselves off, or even better, just move. Because the only thing worse than having no support, is having support there that are being cunts.

Well, it's not actually true, if it boils down to it I'm actually the cunt because I expect too much. I was brought up in a very hard-working house. My parents always worked hard, rewarded us if we worked hard and really believed in helping each other out if we were doing it tough. My Dad always said: "God helps those who help themselves" and by God, he meant the people around you, I think it's a pretty good philosophy too, try yourself and then you'll get the help you need, be a lazy fuck and nobody will help you and you'll end up with nothing.

So from yesterday Bailey started going to kindy, it was harder for me than I thought and I felt so guilty at my free time that I went into a cleaning frenzy. Feeling less guilty as I have 8 lessons and just an hour for lunch today, but it still breaks my heart that he's not with me anymore. He couldn't get into Ash's kindy, so the drop off and pick up is a pain in the arse, mornings not so bad, but afternoons are a fucking dilemma. My busiest time is from 4-8, it's just the reality of eikaiwa. When the kids are older it won't be so bad but at the moment it blows, it interrupts the dinner routine, pushes back the bath routine and is just exhausting. But all that can be dealt with, what cannot be dealt with, is the actual pick up. When it was just Ash, Ryota would pick him up on the motorbike, not ideal, but it worked fine. Bailey can't go on the bike so it puts forward the problem that if Ryota goes home on the bike, gets the car and goes to get both boys, by the time he gets to both places, it will be after 6 and we'll have to pay extra for both kids.

Now if Ryota just picks up Ash on the bike, he gets there before 6 and it's all good. Bailey is the problem. I was hoping (stupidly) that the days I can't go, MIL or dog-fucker would go for me. But last night when I asked MIL, she was very... cold...? with her response and it was quite obvious that she did not want to pick him up. Fair enough, but hurtful all the same. She basically said in her mail: "I thought when Bailey started kindy you'd change your work schedule! Is it just tomorrow?! What about the time from pick-up to when Ryota gets home??" Now these are all valid questions, but she knows I can't just change a whole group of kids easily, it just won't happen, 5pm is one of the busiest slots and almost impossible to free up.
MIL works, so I can understand if she is busy, but dog-fucker has no job, so I should just ask her right? Well, I'm sorry, I can't. I've been shut down by her luke-warm responses too many times before that if she doesn't offer, I just can't beg her. Now usually when this problem crops up (me fucking loathing asking that cunt for anything) Ryota who doesn't give a fuck, will just ask/tell her. But of course he's not talking to her at the moment so he won't ask her...

This is where I feel way too much pressure for my liking. I feel that because I choose to work, I have all the responsibility on my shoulders. And I hate it. If it were my family, in my language, honestly it would be easier, but I just can't do it. I was so defeated last night I just couldn't stop myself from crying in frustration and guilt, that my little boy would be at kindy from 9-6, a long day for a 1 year old. And then I started thinking it's not worth it to work, that everyone would be happier (and much poorer) if I just stayed at home and looked after the kids. So tonight Ryota will pick up both boys, he may or may not make it for 6pm for Bailey but will definitely not make it for Ash. I feel sick just thinking about the whole situation.

All I know is I have to stop feeling sorry for myself and work it out. I just hope I don't damage my kids by leaving them at kindy for so long...

Plodding along

I don't really hold grudges much, I tend to get pissed off and then just kind of forget about it, I'm much like a fish that way.
Ryota, yeah not so much, he has a bad memory (probably a good thing) but he really fucking holds onto things. So the spat we had with the in-laws about blowing off Bailey's birthday party is still going on because Ryota is ignoring MIL and dog-fucker. I just can't be arsed being pissed off, it takes way too much energy but Ryota is very determined to ignore them for at least 2 weeks...

In other news... July will be an exciting month for me, we're going to the Ritz-Carlton for dinner for our 5th anniversary which I'm so looking forward to! Apart from the fact that we haven't been out as a couple since our 1st anniversary I LOVE getting dressed up and going out for dinner somewhere fancy, there's just something nice about it for me. Also an added bonus is the fact that due to current dieting conditions I haven't had a decent meal in about 2 months. 10kgs lighter so happy, but the whole not eating thing can be quite dull!

July is also a month that we will be rolling in cash, I have a soccer announcing job for the match in Osaka between Cerezo and Manchester United, (I'm sure it will be on TV somewhere so look out for my mad announcing skills on July 26th!) which pays nicely, I'm working a summer school for a week which is also good cash, and Ryota gets his bonus! I think all this extra dosh will be going to the down payment for our new car so not that exciting, but we're also planning a trip to Hawaii in April so maybe I should just bite the bullet and start booking things there...

Dog-fucker gets her last pay check from me this week, Grandma was paying her (and me actually) out last night when we were talking about who would do the two different kindy pick ups when I was working and Grandma said "Don't be relying on dog-fucker, she has to get her arse out of the house and get a job!!" Dog-fucker sat at the computer browsing clothes to buy and snickered but I'm sure she is freaking out a bit that she'll have no money from next week. I however will be cheering at paying a fraction of the price for full time care, meaning I'll have a bit of spare time in the day when I'm not teaching, and I can't fucking wait. Will miss the littlen, but really I will love having my time back.

OK, I think that's all that is going on around here, I best go get some sugar and fat free caffeine to keep me going for the next 6 hours of lessons!

Sushi woes

Today is my little baby boy's first birthday! I don't want to rant on about how much I love him and all that bullshit, but he may find this blog 20 years later so I do have to just say that he is the light of my life and I love him so much it even makes me consider having another baby...
I generally don't like babies under 1, so I'm actually looking forward to everything from now on even more!

And it wouldn't be a special birthday without something totally and utterly shitting me off! So I took a few days off work, because, well I make my own school calender and why not take some time off for my son's birthday! I knew I'd need to be at least baking or buying a pressie and would need a bit of extra time. So I just have a few make up lessons this week, pure bliss.
So when it came to what we should do for Bailey's birthday, MIL and I were discussing that maybe if we were to have a house party (like we did for Ash and as we always do for birthdays) then maybe Saturday would be better when nobody has work the next day. Of course I have no work so I don't give a fuck, but any whinging from Ryota saved benefits me too so I agreed. I did think we'd have to do a little something on his actual birthday though, I can't just let it pass...

So anyway, it gets closer to the day, and Ryota says he doesn't really care if the party is on a Thursday or not, it won't exactly be vodka shots and lines of coke till the morning anyway. So I suggested that we just get sushi take away at home tonight. This also coincided with Junpei being given temporary passes out of hospital, tonight being one of the days he gets to come home for a while. I don't know why they don't just release him, but whatever, he'd been banging on about wanting to eat sushi, so I thought, perfect! Junpei wants to eat sushi, we need to have a sushi party, I'll make a cake that will be purely for photos because Ryota's cunting family won't eat cake that isn't strawberry cream boredom cake. Done!

And... Shot down. Junpei wants to go out to eat the sushi. The same exact sushi that would make everyones life easier by being eaten at home... I don't fucking understand it. So I thought, fuck you all then, if you don't want to see Bailey on his birthday we'll have a mini family party and then do the sushi on Saturday. Just us, they can go fuck themselves. Of course this brings up a whole new set of problems, Ash will definitely want to go with them tonight, and fair play to him, he doesn't get the polititcs of it, he just wants to eat sushi. I made it clear that I was not a happy gaijin and MIL came back with "But we agreed not to have his party on the Thursday!" But it's totally different in my mind, I had no idea they were going out I thought we'd all just be hanging around home.

Anyway, trying not to get too pissed off about it, I figure we'll have a mini party at home tonight and then get sushi on Saturday, if they want to join and eat sushi twice in 3 days then they can.

Things that are currently pissing me off.

*MIL's ex-ex- boyfriend, god he's a dick.

*Stay at home mothers who bitch and moan. I get it's hard, but try doing everything you do plus another job then have a moan wench.

*My headache.

*Basically not eating and staying the same weight for a week. So frustrating.

*Dog-fucker. (A constant given)

Think that's about it. Fuck this week in the arse, can't wait for next week when I have 5 days off!

Annoying

I've been trying to put some before after pics but the after pic always gets really stretched! Which is funny because it makes me look way fatter than before, but I just gave up, I'll put a before pic and then you'll just have to imagine 8kgs lighter! Fuck it, I'll just add the stretchy picture too...

 No the baby isn't a midget I am actually that fat!!

 

hehe Stretchy!

 

I really should have taken real before and after pictures but I never thought I'd be able to diet as well as I have.

 

In other news... Brother in law has had a tube permanently implanted inside him (somewhere?) to stop the blood clot travelling to his heart. He's also starting rehabilitation this week so hopefully will be up and about and not dying soon!

 

I have to apologise, I just found 4 comments that I hadn't approved, maybe I should turn the comment approve function off now my admirer has stopped leaving creepy comments... Anyway, if I miss a comment I'm so sorry, I get too much mail to my phone and totally miss comments sometimes, must get better at that.

 

Right, off to teach a lesson or two and then it's BBQing time this weekend! Rainy season my arse J-peeps, it rained for like one day!!

 

Happy weekend!

Bullets

*Ryota and I had an awful weekend. He told me I could go to my dance lesson that I used to go to, but then said "Hmmm I don't think you can go EVERY week though..." So I didn't go because there was no point going for one lesson when you have to pay by the month. I didn't even fight, I was just so disappointed and sad. I think he sensed it and felt guilty. It was horrible, I felt so... alone... out of control...?

*He's been super nice to me ever since, guilt has its benefits but I still would rather just be able to go to my fucking dance class.

*I have a chest cold, as in breathing is a difficulty and I sound like a tranny!

*Little bro got back to Japan only to get a blood clot on the plane and almost died again, he's now in the local hospital so finally things are looking better-ish.

*Work is busy, kicking my arse but busy is good and I'm finally finding a balance between work and house shit, getting better with time management.

*I've lost 7 kilos! Wooohoooo, minimal drugs too, just protein shakes instead of lunch and a diet supplement at night. I will be back to my thinner self by my 30th.

*Sometimes I like fighting with Ryota and being busy because I feel too bad to eat, hence the 7kgs...

*Excuse me while I go and cough up a lung or two...