Been ages!
Don't worry, I haven't packed up and left for the outback or anything (although suitcase has a spare pair of undies and a toothbrush just in case!), just been pretty busy with Ryo-chan's new job, Ash at kindy, all of us sick AGAIN(?!) and general day to day shite.
Ash is slowly getting used to kindy, although still screaming and giving me big guilt trips as I leave, when I shut the door he stretches his arms out and squeezes out huge crocodile tears just to wrench at my heart strings that little bit extra. Although my fears and guilt were put a little bit to rest the other day, Ash was particularly distressed and I just got all overwhelmed and started blubbering as I was walking out. Of course all the genki teachers were all "Maaamaaaa! Doushitan?!!" And I was all "Kawaaii *sniff* souu *sob* Yameyou kanaaa" *blubber blubber* God I'm a fucking idiot.
Sensei then herded me back to the classroom and was like, "look! look through the window!" And fuck me, I look through the window and the little bastard is poking another kid's head with a plastic fork and laughing! No tears in sight! I felt much better after that, they assured me he does this every morning, about 2 minutes of tears and then fine!
I felt like piercing MIL and SIL with that same plastic fork the next week though...
The kindy teachers all make a trip round to the house of EVERY ONE OF THEIR STUDENTS! How's that for dedication!? Anyway, teacher came to our house and I tried pretty hard to follow all the Japanese like protocol for the meeting, as in clean the house, not be in my P.J's etc. SIL also said she'd bring over some green tea as we were out, thanks sis, so nice of you! Or so I thought...
Meeting went fine, I understood everything, the teacher was nice and we chatted for a good 20 minutes. Now I'm also aware of the J-protocol of seating, you shouldn't be higher than the sensei but I freakin offered her the sofa 3 TIMES ad she was determined to sit on the floor, so I was like, fine I'll sit on the sofa (we don't exactly live in a palace, it would have been cramped to sit on the floor next to her). I also offered her a kit kat to have with her tea or take with her, sounds normal right?? WRONG! Seems I failed on all teacher meeting points and SIL swiftly told MIL all about it the minute she got home.
Now this would have been fine, I could handle the in-laws 'in-house bitching', but it was the next day that really fucking pissed me off, MIL came with me to get Ash from kindy for some reason I can't remember and this is something how it went:
MIL: Oh sensei, thank you I apologise so much for yesterday!!! Sorry!
Me: (Thinking what the fuck is she apologising for?? For not being there??)
Sensei: Oh no, not a problem!
MIL: I couldn't believe it when I heard you were sat on the floor and had a kit kat!! Sorry!!!
Me: (Smiling like an idiot and looking for nearest blunt object.)
Sensei: Oh it's fine!
Oh no she diden'!!!!! (Phonetics aren't my strong point...) But what the fuck man!? Don't apologise for your stupid gaijin daughter, not without consulting her first and especially not in front of her!!! MIL really does have a good heart and I know the whole 'the family is one unit' thing is big here but god I was pissed.
Next year I'm clearing the floor of all kotatsu and kotatsu related goods so we can both suffer on the floor, will brew the tea myself and make some manju cake, and lock SIL the fuck out. Live and learn!
ohhh what a PITA!!!
ReplyDeleteif i was a kindy teacher i'd be more than happy to have a kit kat as opposed to dry, anko stuffed crap biscuits 20 times over.
how is it going without the kiddy around?! am i going to see you in may? got a trip in the works!
man, i would have been like, "But that sh*t was good, right?" to the teacher cause you know she wanted that kit kat.
ReplyDeleteOh and for your reference, being a kindy teacher and all, the best thing you can do for a child when dropping them off is get out. not to be rude or anything. haha. But yeah, most kids cry and are fine second/minutes later. Moms that hang around have kids that cry after months of being in kindy.... just stop, drop and roll. :)
Must be a bit harder as a woman... I always do the "Well, I'm a foreigner so I will do things my way" with a basic courtesy level and I think that most Japanese people appreciate that. I'm sure the Kindy teacher did as well so your MIL probably just felt she had to do her bit, but you need to keep SIL out of the loop here it seems like! Maybe you can keep her occupied hating on some koreans while you do important things?
ReplyDeleteSounds like your SIL's favours come with some nasty strings attached, and then to be apologized for! I personally would have LOVED a kitkat! :)
ReplyDeleteOoooo, I am always excited when you update! I'm such a fangirl, sorry. But no, really. I look up to you as a beacon of self-control, I'd be in prison if I had to deal with a MIL/SIL combo every day. Literally in prison.
ReplyDeleteAnd yeah. Kitkats are the best.
Kit kat would of been so much better than what your MIL would of served I am sure.
ReplyDeleteI can not believe she apoligised for you. That sucks. If my MIL did that I would want to slap her around the head. I probably wouldn`t do that but I would definitely WANT to.
um, the kit kat seems like a perfectly acceptable tea time snack! what would they have deemed acceptable? i think you NEED something sweet and chocolatey if your SIL/MIL are serving green tea.
ReplyDeletei also think Mr. Salaryman is right: you need to say thank you to your SIL for helping you get ready (you know, your best "thanks for being a pain in the ass" smile - haha) and show her the door when the teacher, or any guest, comes. doesn't she realize you're a big girl and can handle it on your own without her sitting around just waiting to be a tattle tail to you MIL? doesn't she have something she should being doing anyway?!
regardless, kudos to you for putting up with it. stick to your ways - you're doing a great job. nod, smile, say thank you, and do it HOWEVER YOU WANT!! haha
Sounds like SIL is there to spy on you for the relos, and to report, first hand, how badly you have "embarrassed" the family. Then they know exactly how much they need to apologise for (the depth of the bows?). Or they think you aren't competent enough to be left to interact with others without suitable supervision, because you are, like, totally a barbarian by definition.
ReplyDeleteEither is quite ludicrous to anyone not Japanese.