Monday 13 June 2011

Mess-up mothering Monday

This could very well become a regular spot, I fuck up enough as a mother, but this weekend was particularly spectacular in the psychological damage I’m no doubt causing my son!

Mothering fuck-up #1- Teaching my son the game where you hold your breath when driving through a tunnel. Of course in my day and in my town, tunnels weren’t so bastard long! So after getting a bit dizzy myself and watching his face turn blue before bursting out in giggles, I realized that oxygen deprivation in game form is probably not the best education. Still, passes the time on long drives…

Mothering fuck-up #2- Leaving my slumbering babe in the car while I ducked in to tsutaya for a movie run. I know, I know, only irresponsible junkie types (or Japanese mothers) do that sort of shit. I have often seen kids alone in cars while mummy does her shopping and thinking how much I wanted to slap the mother, but it was pissing down rain, and he’d JUST fallen asleep, and I mean deep asleep as I pulled in to tsutaya. Plus it wasn’t hot or anything but as I searched for the movies I wanted the seconds seemed to be ticking in my ears as visions of cars slamming in to mine while Ash was trapped kept flashing in to my head. But as I sprinted back to my car I was relieved and am now happy to report that he was still snoring loudly and no cars were on fire in the vicinity.

Ryota and I spent the weekend fighting, spoke way too soon with the good behavior, must write those stories of twatism up when I have time. I shall leave you with reason #1 to have kids, there really aren’t that many, but they make it worth it when they do occasionally happen, until you are so distracted by shit that the driver is tickling and passenger is filming and you don’t notice the big arse fucking truck you’re about to slam in to... We survived anyway.


  1. Sooo cute <3 <3 <3
    I think your a great Mum!!! :)

  2. "Teaching my son the game where you hold your breath"

    Sounds like the opening story at a "Bad parents anonymous meeting"


    I'm hoping the School is rocking!! Gonna do a beach BBQ??

  3. OMG #1 is so wrong... you do that when you pass cemetrys not going through tunnels.

    I did #2 once... and when I went back to the car my shit of a son was ducking down so I couldn't see him. I thought he'd been kidnapped or some shit and ran to the car screaming... with my heart stopped!!!! Never did it again though.

  4. uh oh, see you in hell, baby. We can have a bbq over there.

  5. Saboten girl~ haha, well, get Baldy in to gear and start popping out those kids!

    Anonymous~ At times, yes :)

    Magenta~ Awww thank you, that's a lovely thing to say!

    Chris~ "My name is Corinne and I like to teach my son games that will deprive his brain of oxygen..." :D
    School is rocking! But man I wish I could do beach barbies! Our parties sound pretty tame compared to yours!

    Kathrynoh~ We did it for cemetries too! Perhaps it was just a way our parents got us to shut up whenever they got the chance... "Look kids, a tree- hold your breathe!"
    hehe your son sounds like a bit of a ratbag, that would freak me out too!

    Anonymous~ Against the law in most countries I think! Although probably not Japan, car safety is terrible here, less accidents but still!

    BiggerInJapan~ Hmmmm hell-flame grilled steak....*drool*

  6. My parents fucked up almost daily when they were trying to make a man out of me. Yet, I survived and came out okay...I think.

  7. Pshhhhhh, I think number one is a good lung training exercise ;). I left a sleeping Hannah in the car once when I went the five minutes to get groceries. When I came back she was in major tears and looked at me like I was the worst mother in the world. Never again...

  8. Just don't slam his hand in the car door like my mom did to me and he'll be fine.


  9. TheGhost~ Yeah, you turned out fine! I'm taking that theory and running with it!

    Japanmama~ Oooooo good point! haha If he'd woken up he would never have let me forget it, I really don't plan on making a habit of it but if I'd woken him up he would have been more pissed off at me!

    JW~ Ouch... Actually I got my fingers trapped in the car door once, I think I did it myself though!

  10. At least you didn't come home to find your partner looking guilty...caught in the act of trying to leave the sleeping two-month old at home, "Just for a quick trip to the market..."-that's one place I may be falling past on my way down the rabbit hole.

    I was told we'd never bring this again. I never agreed to that and, in fact, have brought it up on only one or two occasions in an attempt to communicated how serious a current situation is in relation to the benchmark.

    Reminds me of the time I saw an unsupervised toddler take a few steps out into the street, in front of a bus...I was too far away to do anything and it was all happening so quickly...somebody must have been watching over his ass, cause he amble back just in time.

    Some things can be planned ahead for. Like, next time anyone sees a baby left in a car with the motor running...there are a number of options that include: immediately taking a picture, standing by and waiting until the parent gets back (not the time, so you can see how long you are there), having a few extra copies of pachinko-related incidents on hand (just in case), and reporting to the 'authorities' in order to have it on record (if there's a feeling that the parent just doesn't get it). Although it would mean extra paper work for everyone, it would make the parent think twice and also maybe put a fire under a few asses and get people to stop leaning on shovels. So many other options within these options too...just to get the brain working. Many options to varying degrees.

    If I see something, I'd rather take action than just letting it tear me up inside. Otherwise, I have no right to complain and should not expect other people to listen.

    And no, I am not trying to preach, but I often think that we let ourselves get into too much of a hurry. We can always 'do more', but there is some wisdom in truly understanding what is enough. give me lots to think about, much like a fair number of other 'switched on' people here. Most of don't have a clue, but damn it, we are trying. Our lives are our essays ("To 'essay' is not a five-paragraph argument of a form we learn from our high school writing teachers. To 'essay' to make an attempt...). So began a lecture from a great mind, who after 49 year of opening minds, is, at this very moment, under hospice care.

    Thank you for sharing.

    (I am now going to take a quiet moment to myself.)

  11. aimlesswanderer16 June 2011 at 00:07

    Hmm, father driving while tickling son in the back seat while mother videos. Possibly not recommended by road safety organisations.

    Leaving kids in cars on boiling hot days with the windows up has killed far too many kids...