*President Obama got re-elected. I'm not American and not particularly political, but I like Mr Obama, not because he can save the world or anything, just because he seems like a nice guy. Plus Hollywood loves him, if brainwashing from the U.S of A has taught me anything, it's go with Jay-Z!
*I turned 29. Not 30. Breathe. Not 30. No actually I don't give a fuck about getting older, I figure it only gets better. Birthday was good. Got some nice pressies, went out for a steak, can't ask for more than that!
*I gained another pussy. As in cat that is. Our little moo-chan has a brother it appears. They do everything together and it was impossible to say yes to one and no to another. So now a grand total of 3 kitty cats; Whisky-chan, Moo-chan and Fuu-chan. That's Fuu as in Fugu, not fuck for you non-Japanese speakers too!
*My baby is no longer a baby... he's a rolling, toothy little boy and that scares me more than getting older does!
*I've hatched a one-year escape plan from my marriage if need be. That's a post for another day though.
*I got a comment on one of my posts that managed to really piss me off:
"I also don't understand why u as mother don't go to yr kids sport festival. u live with a j family, have a j husband and u live in j.so, u could at least adopt to the basic j family behavior."
As much as this made me very fucking angry, (I'm a little too defensive perhaps) I'm as always, grateful for any comments and input, as different to my opinion as they may be.
Let me just defend myself by saying I did go to the final rehearsal which is exactly the same thing. And there was one reason and one reason only I didn't go, it wasn't to be a rebellious little gaijin baby, it was because- I WORK. I wasn't just slacking off at home! Anyway, the comment triggered a whole new set of fears that I'm ruining my children by working when they're so young. Women really are fucked every way on this I feel.
*I'm sure there has been some other drama but I can't really think of anything else at the moment, I'll leave you with a pic of SIL's wall shrine to the late dog...
Here's a rule I made for myself when I became a parent, which you may use or ignore as you see fit:
ReplyDeleteIf someone tells me what THEY do as a parent, what THEY have found that works or doesn't, or what THEY consider important when raising THEIR children, then I will politely listen and consider their views.
If, however, they presume to tell me what I should be doing, or how I should be behaving with my family, based on what can only ever be an utterly partial understanding of our lives, than I have unarguable moral justification if I choose to hit them in the face with a chair leg and take a shit on chests as they lie unconscious on the floor.
So yeah, fuck that guy.
What the hell is with that comment? Would they be saying that to you if you were a man?
ReplyDeleteSo many Japanese mothers complain these things too, especially if they have to work.
The comment is a lot like the comments around the 101st place ranking Japan recently received from this year's Global Gender Gap Report. "Japan is mistaken about gender equality, and there is a heavy tendency toward protecting women. And Japan is a male-dominated society where it counts, so gender inequality is evident. We have no choice but to satisfied with these rankings."
ReplyDeleteEscape plans are always as good to have.
So are attitudes that make it clear things are going to work your way. Period.
For a working mom, sounds like you are spending plenty time with your kids. Stay-at-home moms can kind of go bonkers and focus all of their energy on the kids, which, as far as I've seen, makes for children who have a sense of entitlement that follows them through to adulthood.
In my opinion, believing in "basic j family behavior" is a nostalgia trap.
Anyway, good to see you are still posting.
Amen.
PS
The puppy photos do kind of tug at the hear strings.
Just look at his eyes.
Bah! Children aren't damaged, because the mother works or didn't go to some festival. They are damaged when beaten, yelled to pieces or generally not loved. You seem to love your boys a lot, so don't let some studid comments bother you.
ReplyDeleteThe escape-plan sounds sad to me. I hope, it won't be needed. Ever.
Oh yeah...and this.
ReplyDeleteHug #1 for taking care of 3 cats...they will give you smiles when you need them....you always need smiles :)
ReplyDeleteHug #2 for the dog pics. They say once you post a pic on the net it's gonna be somewhere out there forever. I hope SIL is doing better.
My Chibi died November 24th last year and this year on the one year mark I will turn on the huge tree lights on the roof. Nothing else. Just the tree. I will honor her. Sounds so dumb to some but it makes all the sense in the world to me.
I thought you were like 24?
You look 24. ;)
That comment makes me so fucking furious. Unemployed judgmental losers like that can eff right off. Being a working mom is hard, we beat ourselves up enough, we do not need dickwads like that putting in their worthless two yen. Want me to go to every single ridiculous PTA thing at the school? Hold it at a bar after I get off work. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteAwww Yorkies are so cute!!!! No wonder she loved the little guy so much.
ReplyDeleteYou know my SIL is having issues with men, and I thought about giving her a puppy... I dunno now. Japanese people seem to put an over value on a lot of things...and under value (like addressing suicide attempts due to an affair...they're all pretending like nothing ever happened...go figure.) other things...for example, like the value of living.
Thanks for liking Obama, and don't worry about people that piss you off.
If you ask me, women should work. Women who don't manage to get bored when their kids grow up and turn evil in weird, steford wives ways.
Hi there, I am a first time poster but long time reader. I love how honest your blog is! Ive just started up my own blog http://www.travellingtalesofciara.com and would really appreciate it if you would take a look (in between working, kids etc etc). its early days and very much in progress.
ReplyDeletewhat kind of dumb cunt made you that comment? just because you married a japanese man does not mean you need to become japanese! plus, as you said, you had a very good reason to miss sports day, and moreover, there will be others. as in, one every single year, which you will have a chance to attend, should you wish to. people who make comments like that should mind their own business. it's your life and nobody has any business telling you how to live it.
ReplyDeleteas for turning 29, cheers. i wish i was still in my 20's.... *cries*
I've got fourteen years on you, and lost half a head of hair (good thing I am a man), so don't let your age trouble you. Not to mention my second is 'in the oven', and I will be decrepit by the time both leave; you'll still have some youth left.
ReplyDeleteJudgmental parenting trolls. As an elementary teacher I have met too many bat-shit parents in denial for several lifetimes. I guarantee you: she's certifiable, her husband's fucking someone else, and her kids are little shits. No doubt about this at all.
Sorry to hear you have had to think of an 'exit strategy'. I won't judge, as I am not in your shoes, or his. Just a thought, which you've probably had yourself: would moving further from his family be good enough? My mother is here from Canada presently, and another week would end my marriage...
Don't think you're too defensive at all! I read so many blogs, I've often wondered if I should try to start my own as some kind of.... token effort the other way, or something. But I know I wouldn't be able to take people's comments without getting too upset or defensive about them. I think you're pretty bloody gracious.
ReplyDeleteAnd I think having an escape plan can help make life here seem a bit rosier. It's not good to feel trapped.
Hopefully Obama won't lead his own or other nations into any new wars, unlike certain predecessors. Cautiously optimistic!
Happy belated birthday, and about the working thing, my mom was a single mom and she was always busy with going to school AND working. To be honest, as kids we were too busy doing our own thing and as long as she checked up on us once in a while, it was okay. It's the teen years you have to worry about! It was rough going through those years with a more often than not absentee parent(s). Nobody to talk to when things came up because there was no time to talk. It would have been easier to have stuff a little figured out before hitting adulthood. Anyway good luck, love your blog, and I hope you'll post pictures of your cats. They sound adorable!
ReplyDeleteHi,
ReplyDeletethe comment that made you angry was unfortunately from me.
I am very sorry for that. My intention wasn`t to piss you off.
The truth is, that I have no right to comment like this on your personal decisions. Especially not, when my comment may hurt you.
So, honestly ... sorry for that useless comment.
Keep your head up,
Andre
Corinne & Family,
ReplyDeleteMerry Christmas, Happy New Year & Happy Holidays. I know you are busy but just want you to know we miss you.
What Anonymous said! Definitely miss you Corinne!! I hope your Holidays are happy & I look forward to your next entry! Take care & Happy New Year!!
ReplyDelete