I have a mouth full of bitter bile. Not literally of course, but there is something building in me and making me rethink a lot of things in my life. Saying that, my thoughts are like a jigsaw puzzle my 4 year old has given up on and has scattered from arsehole to breakfast-time and I can't blog it yet, I really want to but I'm not quite ready to put my soul on the line of the Internet yet, I'll be ready soon I promise.
I think if I had some kind of bitch-o-meter on here, that my biggest percentage of bitches would be about Ryota. It's quite natural I'm sure, since it's not P.C. to bitch about your children properly, he is the one I spend the majority of my time with and therefore most likely to bear the brunt of my bitchiness, but I can safely say, for now, we are actually in a good place. Sorry, I know the stories of his arseholey behaviour are a great read, but to be honest, the things on my mind actually have nothing to do with him. For once... I'm sure it will change at some point but we've been working really well together lately.
Prime example, we lost our camera when we went to Disneyland (Disneyland is a whole fucking blog post too!) recently and I was bracing myself for Ryota to go off his nut at me because I/we left it on a bus. It was out good canon camera with a zillion photos on it too and I was heartbroken that it might be lost. I went into a huge downer about it, if we had lost it my trip was going to be ruined and I also thought we were going to have a massive argument about it but he was like, "Well, if we get it back, we'll be really happy. If not, can't be helped, and it means you can get the Nikon that you wanted!" Where the fuck did old Ryota go?! Whatever I liked the new attitude, it perked me up and I apologised for not taking more care to check the bus for our shit. We got it back thank god, but it shows that we can actually interact as normal loving humans! Score!
And we actually had no fights during the Disney trip, despite it being one of the most irritating places on Earth!
It may be his new 70% philosophy, he read a book that said you shouldn't live life at 100% all the time because you'll never have anywhere to go but down and always be disappointed. And when I think about it, it's kind of a good plan! From now we shall be the 70% super couple. Just wait, now I've blogged about it we'll probably have a massive fight tonight!
Right, must go work. I'm hoping my next post will be a bile purging one.